(Closed) Why did I do it?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You did it because you wanted to make people happy.  I am a people pleaser too, so I understand.  It’s ok to be kind and accepting of other people’s requests.  Sometimes though you look back and have to say enough is enough.  If you are going to continue with your current plan of having your Future Sister-In-Law in your bridal party and not your BFF, then I would say you have compromised here and you are certainly allowed be more firm in what you want for other parts of your wedding.  Just because your Future Sister-In-Law is a Bridesmaid or Best Man doesn’t mean you have to include her extensively in the planning.  Minimize how much she is involved and maybe that will prevent her from getting on your nerves too much.  You may just need to say to yourself “This is my wedding” a few times everyday.  If you haven’t officially asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man yet, then reconsider.  If you don’t want her up there with you and your Fiance doesn’t care either way, then maybe don’t ask her!  Ultimately it is your decision, because it is YOUR wedding and not your parents! 

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Just make it clear that getting a dress, shoes and showing up are the only things she’s required to do. I know it’s annoying to have people in the wedding out of obligation, but sometimes it’s better to just do it and not ruffle feathers. I’m sure your in-laws will appreciate the fact that you have her there. If she starts to create issues, have Fiance put her in her place!

Post # 6
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Even though it bothers you, I think you have your head on straight!  You know she may end up irritating you, so you try to prevent it before it happens!  Good plan!  If buying a dress and shoes and then showing up the day of is all you need her to do, make that clear from the start.  As 2PeasinaPod said, you have your Fiance there to intervene if she forces her way into the planning more than she needs to be.  Then your parents are happy that it “looks good” and your in-laws will appreciate that she is included.    

Post # 8
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

And I would have to say that it also depends on how much your family or his is contributing to the wedding as far as funds go. If you are paying for it yourself, then you can have anyone in there that you want. But if your parents and/or his are doing the contributing, even though it is technically your day, you still have to respect their wishes. But I definitely think that minimizing her responsibilities would be key here.

Good luck!

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