(Closed) Why did so many women wear white to my wedding?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2005

View original reply
@Au Jardin:

I think in France people speak honestly so you could write on your website something like ” (In keeping with… tradition) the bride requests lady guests to forgo white or ivory attire on her special day”.

Had I have known I would have put it in print.  Even if it your guest ignor it it at least gives you or other guests licence to point out their faux pas politely on the day 😉

Post # 33
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@goya79: Ok, it’s definitely going on the website, especially before family members start choosing their outfits! Although I’m not too worried about my Future Mother-In-Law, at her other son’s wedding she was horrified because she and another guest were wearing something similar – so I doubt she would want to do that again with the bride! Still, I feel like there is always one person who doesn’t have a clue…

Post # 34
Member
879 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t realize this til much later, but at my brother’s wedding one of the guests wore a very short, low cut white-ish colored dress.  I don’t think anyone noticed at the time, because we were all enjoying the moment, but in hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best move.

What I thought was worse was at my cousin’s wedding a few years back…a guest of hers was wearing a bright red blinged out gown -_-

Post # 35
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@EmEv:

Because all of those women were virgins 😉 Haha

No I don’t know why they would but then again sometimes brides actually ask guests to dress in black and white? I wouldn’t take it personally, they were all looking at you, maybe they just wanted to kid themselves? lol

Post # 36
Member
34 posts
Newbee

I think these days some women don’t know any better when wearing white, it’s like the saying “don’t wear white after labor day” some people aren’t sure if that is still vaild or not. I know you already did your wedding but those in the future including myself might address this in the invitation that no other women wear white, in a more polite way than I just put it, lol.

Post # 37
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think they’d look pretty ridiculous! I’d hate to be them…

Post # 38
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve never thought wearing white was a problem insofar as it will compete with the bride and confuse people as to who the bride is, because for the most part, that’s almost impossible (though judging from a couple of the stories shared on this thread, there are actually people who will wear white/off-white special occasion dresses to someone else’s wedding…)

I always thought it was more the principle of the thing – that someone would choose to wear white to someone else’s wedding, knowing they shouldn’t.  (I’m not talking about white sundresses with prints or patterns – nothing wrong with those, and guests definitely can’t be required to avoid the use of any white at all in their attire.)  Except now seeing the responses on threads like these, there are so many people who don’t see it as a problem that it really seems the “rule” has been phased out and when someone wears white to a wedding it means nothing in terms of bad intentions.  Unless it’s like the MOG wearing a formal white dress, which I think would be a valid reason for any bride to be pissed off.

I think if I saw anyone wearing a white semiformal dress at my wedding, I wouldn’t see any reason to be pissed about it, but I’d probably think momentarily, “Okay, that’s odd.”  Personally, I would never wear a full white dress to someone else’s wedding.  I just don’t even touch it.

Post # 39
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am so sorry to all of you that have had this happen to you! I did not attend my first wedding until I was 19, and even before that I knew it was rude and tacky to wear white. Other than dresses with other patterns and colors, white belongs on the bride (should that be her choice of course). I have had to explain AND RE-EXPLAIN to my Future Mother-In-Law that she CANNOT WEAR WHITE. Is it really that hard?? She is INSISTANT! Like seriously lady? I understad if you do not know proper ettiquite, but once you know you are just being a stereotypical Mother-In-Law. I don’t know which would be worse, her wearing white or what she wore to her own daughter’s wedding, clubbing attire. *shudders* Sorry for the vent 😛

Post # 40
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

to be honest. this seems silly to me. guests can and will wear whatever they want.

echoing some of the bees above, i doubt there can ever be true confusion as to who is the bride, and after all,

who are you worried is going to be confused? your friends looking at photos of your wedding, wondering if the guest in white attire or you were the bride? family? random people? who cares.

you are getting married! embarking on a wonderful new life! is a guest’s choice of attire colour really worth even thinking about? to spend even a second of your day worrying about whether a guest in white has ruined your day, or upstaged your day, seems to me to be a second too long.

 even if its a FMIL or part of the bridal party. is it honestly worth an argument? you have, esp in the case of a Future Mother-In-Law, a lifetime to have arguments with her. is this a topic worth the stress that the argument will put on your existing/future relationship? esp over the colour of a dress. at the end of the day, its a dress, and it really has no bearing on your day, your life or your future happiness.

at least that’s how I feel about this.

Post # 41
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t get yourself to upset about it…but..I would be irritated. That is really tacky. I thought it was an unwritten rule that you do not wear a white dress to a wedding…what was wrong with those people?

Photoshop them out.

Post # 42
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am sorry this happened to you. I can completetly understand why you are irked. Maybe these ladies somehow have never heard about the unwritten rule of not wearing white to a wedding. 

Post # 43
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m finding this discussion extremely interesting, especially since my entire bridal party is wearing white.

Personally, while I like the idea that the wedding party, including my own mother and Mother-In-Law, will be the only ones in white, I don’t think I’d let it upset me if a guest showed up also wearing white. These are the little things that we let distract us from what’s important and especially if it’s someone I care about, I’d rather they be there at all than in whatever outfit I’d prefer them in. 

Post # 44
Member
12 posts
Newbee

When I was married, my mother wore white lace with me. Her dress was a longer dress but not all the way to the floor. I was not angry and was okay with the fact because she was my mother , and my dress was very obvious that I was the bride. I would never wear white to anothers wedding. My dress for my son’s wedding is going to have colors of the wedding colors. 

I guess I would think that while I think it is rude under different circumstances than my own, I would not let anyone take my sunshine away from my day! Some people feed on it attention, and others are just ignorant to proper ettiquete. Don’t let anyone ruin a lifetime experiece because of a color. 

Post # 45
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I dislike people who wear a dress with majority white to a wedding. Stripes: fine. white as the accent color: fine. Majority white/cream with a small amount of color detail: I dislike.

While I also dislike black at weddings, I will admit to have succumbed to a dress that was black & cream striped to a wedding. It was the only dress I had that fit at the time, and I was/am still conflicted that I wore it when I know better.

I can’t control what people wear to my wedding, but I sure hope that no one wears white/cream. I give up on black dresses, because there are just so many of them now.

Post # 46
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My SIL and my mom will be wearing white. Although I feel a bit odd that my SIL choose a lace sleeve, knee lenght dress for my wedding (it was purchased online at the wedding gown section…) but I just feel weird not upset though.  Because on my big day, it’s really hard to take away attention from a bride with fancy hair, makeup and everything.  

My mom will be wearing cream white dress during the day and may be royal blue at night. She hasn’t pick out the evening dress yet 

The topic ‘Why did so many women wear white to my wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors