(Closed) Why did you decide to elope?

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
Post # 17
Member
6116 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Rusalka:  That is just beautiful – I got chills!

Post # 18
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684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

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@sienna76:  Thank you πŸ™‚

Post # 19
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Rusalka that is exractly what my Fiance & I would like to do. There have been a lot of tears and arguments over this wedding circus and last evening my Fiance & I had a nice long talk & depending on how some other things work out we’ve decided to elope in Niagara Falls in September or elope to Jamaica anytime between November to March.

Can I ask where you eloped? If we go to Jamaica it’d be only the 2 of us (possiblly 4 of us if we invite 1 other couple).

Post # 20
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684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

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@MrsN2Be:  “Circus” is what we called it too πŸ™‚ We were both really happy when we eloped πŸ™‚

We chose Couples Sans Souci. The wedding was included since we were staying 6+ nights.  The wedding planner in US did a great job answering all my questions. They also had a wedding coordinator on site who was super nice. The US office made sure that the paperwork was in order before we left Canada (they need to receive documents 45 days in advance).

http://couples.com/sans-souci/

Originally we wanted to elope in Montreal but there was more paperwork and more hassle involved plus we had to coordinate flying out to the honeymoon in Jamaica.

Wherever you go, enjoy your special day! πŸ˜‰

 

Post # 21
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@sienna76:  “We thought of eloping from the beginning with our families on different sides of the US.  We decided to have the wedding closer to us, but had tons guilt about the $$$ people would have to spend to come here.  We thought it would be good to have our families meet as well, have our friends witness us getting married.  Plus I was married once before without any wedding stuff at all, so I kind of thought this was my chance to have the wedding event (just because I could).”


I read this to my Fiance and he asked if I wrote it lol. This is part of our reasons to elope. We are living on the East coast now and our families are on the West coast in AZ and CA. We decided to postpone the wedding celebration for a year and just elope this year. WE only told our wedding party (my sisters) and our parents so they could cancel travel plans if any were made. Also so they didn’t buy their bridal party dresses.


Good luck with whatever decision you make. You will know what is right for you two. 

Post # 22
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Hello!

 

I’m new to this board. We have just come up with “the plan” to elope.We decided to do this because of family drama and the cost.

 

We were in the middle of planning a really nice wedding for what seemed like the millionth time. We would always get to a place with our planning until something got in the way. We changed dates a bunch of times and other details due to people’s negative opinions. I had always said that from the time I was 10, I always wanted to elope (if you know me, this is a true statement) and I had been trying to convince my fiance to agree with me. One thing lead to another and we realized since we’re basically on our own money-wise to plan this that we should do it our way. He totally surprised me when he said he wanted to elope. The location we’re picking comes from significance. We have been dating for 6 years. We were friends before we dated. I remember asking him out of the blue where he would want to get married someday. He said Niagara Falls, because it’s romantic and different.

 

So, there you have it. We’re getting married at Niagara Falls next year! Our plan is to do that, and then have a party for our families, along with a simple vow renewal πŸ™‚

Post # 23
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee

We’re eloping because for me (and for my FI) it’s just a very personal moment. We’re having our two best friends as witnesses and another friend be the officiant/photographer and that’s it for the ceremony. Then a couple days later have a family thing and then later a friend reception (first one a more classy dinner/second one more of a party). I know I’m probably going to end up crying and we’re both writing our own vows. The idea of being that emotionally vulnerable and bare in front of my family is nervewracking and far too intimate. In order to make it as personal and intimate as possible for my Fiance and I, we’re cutting everyone but the bare essentials for the special moment, then celebrating it with family/friends later.

Plus it’s cheaper. : )

Post # 24
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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@glittermoon:  I agree! Can’t imagine saying vows in front of other people! Exact reason why we’re eloping.

Post # 25
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

1. second wedding for each of us

2. it’s just about us this time

3. love the romance/mystery/excitement of an elopement!

4. don’t want to go through with expense/planning a wedding again

Post # 26
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@glittermoon:  vows in front of my family/friends really freaks me out too!  I’m soooooo glad we’re eloping and I would be lying if I said that wasn’t part of the reason.

 

Money and pleasing other people was a huge part of the decision.  We always said we would elope to Greece, but then when we got engaged we started to seriously think about having a wedding.  After making about 10 “potential guest lists”, we realized it just wasn’t going to work.  One plan was to rent a huge house on a beach (probably Puerto Rico so people could travel without needing a passport) and then pay for the house and guests pay for their flights.  That was too limiting in number of people, so we looked at Destination Wedding options.  We were getting ready to go to a Destination Wedding in Aruba, and FI’s family wasn’t completely thrilled about the idea.  Honestly, it would have been a ton of fun since everyone ended up loving Aruba, but it would have been really difficult to ask his family to go to another Destination Wedding less than a year later.  We were “in talks” about wedding stuff for a few weeks before deciding to go back to the original elopment plan, only we decided to do Italy instead of Greece.  We thought that for the money we would spend on a wedding in the DC area, we could spend half as much and go on a really kick-ass honeymoon, have a symbolic ceremony, and do it in a place that would otherwise be a little more expensive to visit.  Sooo 2 weeks in Italy and Austria it is! 

Everyone for the most part has been really supportive and happy for us.  His mom cried when she heard we weren’t going to have a wedding, but he had been telling her there wouldn’t be one for ages.  We’re having a civil ceremony with our parents before we go, so they will be attending.  One of my friends wasn’t so nice and was making little comments about how “it’s not an elopement if it’s planned” and “just call it a wedding because that’s what it is, you’re just not inviting anyone else to be there”.  We’re having a party to celebrate when we come home and she’s already RSVPd “no”, so I don’t know what her deal is and to be honest, I couldn’t care less.  The only parts of a wedding that I actually wanted were wearing a wedding dress and having some nice photos of us together.  Bonus is that we’re doing it on vacation and there is much less planning involved!

Post # 27
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We decided to get married legally here and it was amazing.  We really enjoy being married our families are fine with that.  But we are still having a ceremony and its mostly for them. Its sort of like we knew our ceremony would be limited because we are not ones to spend a lot of money and because we have a lot of free things that would pre-determine the day.  We wanted something private just ourselves.  So yes we are married, and we will go and do the ceremony for the family where we say our vows in front of everyone (because we actually havent done that yet).

But now its a relaxed affair more like a party and so that is going to be great and we are excited.  We both knew we wouldn’t be happy if we at least didnt get to do something on our terms. 

Post # 28
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@redsangria:  I have been thinking about eloping for a few months now (I’m still on the fence), and one of the things that always trips me up is whether or not it’s a “real” elopement if you tell people ahead of time.  I found a book called “Let’s Elope” published in 2001 by author Scott Shaw, and he talks a lot about all the different kinds of elopements.  Of course there’s the traditional kind where you run off and don’t tell anybody, but then he says there are all other kinds.  For instance, some couples will pretend they are throwing an engagement party (or they will plan it with a friend or parent), and then they show up and surprise everyone by having the ceremony right then and there!  There are lots of other kinds he talks about, too, but in the end, you can make your elopement whatever you want it to be; it doesn’t have to be the Romeo and Juliet kind for it to be legitimate, romantic, or fun.  It really stinks that your friend is being a bit unsupportive of your elopement, but if you call it an elopement, that’s what it is and it will be fun and memorable no matter what, I’m sure. Best of luck with everything! πŸ™‚

Post # 29
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Why did we choose to elope?

Because, in the end, we just want to be married to each other.  We don’t need a lot of hoopla to make that happen. 

1. We live in a remote area of the US, which is far from anyone in our families and closest friends.  His family is the closest, about 10 hour drive from us; and my relatives are spread out, which would be a 2+ days driving or 2-3 flights for each of them. 

2. We don’t have a lot of money.

3. Most of our relatives are unable travel due to finances, small children and/or nervousness.

4. Even if they pulled off the trip, we would be responsible for their wellbeing and entertainment and that just sucks.

5. Many of our family members are people we don’t prefer to spend time with.

6. If we went to a location that was convenient to one side of our families, we’d end up with lop-sided attendance (groom or bride) and those who do attend would be moreso out of convenience and a free meal than “yay I’m so happy for you”.

7. I was married once before.

So we’re spending money on a good photographer, a courthouse wedding and a nice honeymoon!

Post # 30
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@crescentloon23:  thank you!  I think hearing other people say the same thing has helped a lot, although I really have no idea why I care so much about what she thinks.  I think part of it is reading about how selfishpeople think elopements of that kind are and that if they involve anything wedding-like at all that they’re just a show for photographers and people are only doing it to be blogged and put the photos on fb/pinterest. Good luck with your decision!  It’s not an easy one to make and we struggled too, but I think when it’s over there won’t be any regrets on my part.

Post # 31
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@the boss of you:  “4. Even if they pulled off the trip, we would be responsible for their wellbeing and entertainment and that just sucks.”

Seriously, that is one of the things I had forgotten about that made me not want to do a Destination Wedding the most.  We were sort of thinking Destination Wedding in either the DR or Puerto Rico, and then I realized that everyone would be relying on us to help them figure everything out.  I’ve traveled with my parents/extended family in Europe where I was the only one who spoke the language and it was super stressful trying to keep everyone happy.  We were in Paris, and thankfully I had been there a lot before, because I felt like I spent my time babysitting them because they were afraid to speak English with people.  I think the phrase “it’s like trying to herd cats” would be a very appropriate description of how my potential Destination Wedding would have been!

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