(Closed) Why did you make his lunch? Did he break his arm?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Umm yeah, I don’t seee anything wrong with that. I also cook most meals, make lunch, and do laundry (we share doing that tho).

Post # 5
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just had a conversation about this recently.

My area of study closely aligns with women’s studies, and most people in my department are modern femininsts etc. And I love to cook and regularly cook for “my boys” (DH, BIL, FIL). I feel the need to justify it, but as you said, I do things for him and he does things for me. Am I capable of changing my own car oil? Yes, but I don’t want to. He’s certainly capable of cooking and even enjoys it. Sometimes we cook together. Sometimes I help him do farm chores. I think it only becomes problematic if a kind of traditional division of labor is espoused — you cook because you’re a woman, even if you don’t like it. That’s a problem. But if you enjoy it and would be doing it anyway, why not? And moreover, whose business is it anyway?

Post # 7
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I get both sides of this.  I love to take care of people and since he’s my husband, I love to do things for him.  He does things too though and usually it depends on who has the time or who wants to do it.  I get people thinking it’s weird for me to do little things for him like iron his shirt for work or something but I like doing it.

I’ve gotten the other side too though.  His mom was trying to tell me how to make sweet tea for him and I said something about how he probably knows how to make it and can probably do that when he wants it (he doesn’t want it all the time).  She said “What happened to women wanting to do everything for their husband?” which was strange for her to say but I know she was tired that day and had a different situation on her mind. 

We also get a lot of flack from people when they find out he usually handles dishes and baking even though he wants to do that. 

Post # 8
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I cannot wait to make my man lunch every day. Been in a LDR since we met…only 2.5 more months and we will finally be together- and I’m sure I will spoil him a little bit- but yes he will def. appreciate it!

Post # 9
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I ALWAYS make Mr A’s. lunch. If I didn’t, he’d only eat PB sandwiches and M and M’s everyday.  

Post # 11
Hostess
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

People are always surpried to learn that I make Mr’s sandwiches and I never really get why.

Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I hate comments like this.. Yes I know he could put his own laundry away, but if Im sitting here doing my own why couldnt I do his too. I think a lot of people (not all) are in this mind set that its not the 50’s anymore and woman should be strong, independent, and be able to take care of themselves. Thats fine, and I consider myself to be all of those things, but I do like to do the little things to show him that I appreciate him. He does the same for me! And by no means does he expect it!! He is just thankful for me like he should be and I am thankful for him. So yea I understand where you are coming from. Just do what makes you guys happy who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Weird though that a friend would say that … Like doesnt she know you better than that lol

Post # 13
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Just_Squeeze: I want to make my husband’s lunch, but I’ve been lazy lately. He likes when I make his lunch. Sometimes he forgets which is another story. I don’t see it as being traditionalist. I see it more as being a caring spouse than anything else.

Post # 14
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Its in our nature to want to take care of them at least some, and especially when they do other things to take care of us. Hubs does all our car and outside work, minus my garden. He has saved us thousands and thousands of dollars because he is a mechanic. He has also been working his ass off trying to make up for the fact that I haven’t been and can’t at the moment. I think he deserves to be taken care of where I can

Post # 16
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Just_Squeeze: Whoa, don’t make this into a feminism or not debate. I merely said that to illustrate the kind of thinking — they’re not home in the kitchen with aprons on popping out kids. Of course they still do things for their families, and I think that saying a feminist who wouldn’t cook should stay single is a little over the top.

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