(Closed) Why did you (or didn't) you change your last name?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 136
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I struggled…..had my maiden name for 35 years and I like it.  And, I recognized how important it was to my husband that we both have the same last name.  We’re not very traditional.  In the end, I made my last name my middle name and took his name.  I don’t regret it, but I wonder if I’ll every get used to the new name!

Post # 137
Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am making my last name my middle name and taking his.  It was very important to him. 

Post # 138
Member
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Excited To Bee:  I plan to drop my last name because I like FI’s better haha. I want to keep my middle name because my mom picked it and lots of women in my family have it. (Plus my current last name would look and sound ridiculous as my middle name). I’m not very attached to my maiden name because I was born under a different last name anyways, and my last name changed when my dad (technically stepdad) joined the fam and adopted me. It’s a nice symbol of that, but I have no real emotional connection to the rest of his family, so I would rather hold on to my middle name.

Post # 139
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

Growing up i hated my last name (it sounds funny) So i knew once i got married i would change it. Last year my mom passed away (don’t have my fathers last name) so my last name mean so much now to me. I’m still deciding on it, I do have a brother so he can carry on the name and his children. My son has his dad’s last name, i want all of us to be one unit. I still have time my wedding isn’t until next year.

Post # 140
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

I’m going to keep mine for at least a few years. I’ve always wanted to see my childhood last name on my degree when I graduate, and so it means a lot to me to keep that and finally see that degree with my name on it. Eventually I may change, I know it means a lot to my fiancé that I change to his last name, I’ll definitely go by it socially though.

Post # 141
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am taking my husband’s last name, but adding my maiden as a second middle name. It’ll be nice just to know it’s still in there after having it for so many years. But I am happy to change my name for my husband, out of respect.

Post # 142
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I’m torn, I like my name. And when I asked my FHA why it was important for me to change my name to his, his response was ” because your becoming part of my family”. this caused a huge fight because not only is that sexist, but we are creating our own family. 

Post # 143
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

I decided to hyphenate, but just ended up keeping my maiden name. I’d had it for 38 years and there are no males on our side of the family to carry it on. Plus, all my current and former students know me by it, so it was just easier to not change it. 

Post # 144
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

I can’t wait to change my last name! My maiden name is long and I have never really liked it. Family issues as well as it’s long and can’t be spoken or spelled corectly. Ive also been dreaming of the day I could get rid of my maiden name forever. It may sound rude, I didn’t have a great childhood and am not close with my family. My married name will be very cute and is beautiful. Its all about what you want I think. I even have to get a bunch of documentation in order to get our marriage license and then will turn around and get them again with my married name. I dont care, I just can’t wait!

To each their own and I do think its great that there are so many options so however we feel there is an option for that.

Post # 145
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

This is an old thread but my answer is the same every time: It’s not my name right now either, it’s my Dad’s name. I’d rather have my husband’s name than my father’s. My boyfriend is my family, a family I chose, not one I had no say in, i was just born into.

Post # 146
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

I kept my name. I love it, it’s mine, why should I change it? It’s weird having a different name than my daughter though. I didn’t want to hyphenate her last name and I want my children to have my husbands name. I wonder how she will feel about my having a different last name when she’s older.

Post # 147
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm

My last name means very little. My biological father, whom my mother divorced when I was 7, was a horrible man. Really just a terribad guy. The man I consider my Dad is my step father and I love him dearly.

My first and middle names are incredibly dear to me as I am named for both my grandmothers, two wonderful women.

That being said, when I marry next year I will be dropping my last name completly and taking my husbands. Rather than the more common dropping of the middle name.

I think it’s very important to do what feels right for you. Many think it’s absurd that I don’t want to keep my last name at all. But that’s what I feel is right for me. So long as your Fiance supports you that is all that matters.

Post # 148
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m going to change it because I am ok with it. For a while I was always the type who didn’t want to because I like my last name a lot (It’s Good, literally the word Good, who wouldn’t love that last name? lol) But I love my Fi so much and we actually talked about it a while back and he seemed really happy at the idea of me having the same last name as him. It’s very cute how he’ll affectionately call me Mrs. [NewLastname] sometimes. =)

I am also no longer attached to my last name as I used to be. I have grown up a lot and the Good family just doesn’t represent who I am anymore. I am so different from my Dad’s side of the family now. I am ready to start a new family, with a new name and better values. It may sound kind of weird, but that’s just how I feel about it.

Post # 149
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 9/2016

I will be changing my last name. I do love my maiden name but its important to me (and to my fiance) that I change it. My sister in law to be didnt change her last name and there is a lot of confusion with their childern when traveling or registering for school. 

That being said i think its just a personal choice. Whatever feels right for you is right. Everyone feels differently about these things 🙂

Post # 150
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

Whenever I hear something like “my fiance was not happy about me keeping my name”, I get chills. Something about that sounds off to me. If you are with someone who really cares about your feelings and respects you, then he should be happy as long as you’re happy. ESPECIALLY since no one usually asks him to change his last name. Maybe men don’t realize this, but it’s a very big decision which can elicit very negative emotions if the bride feels like she is doing it only to please others. A name change decision is ultimately up to the person who is changing it. If the man is changing his name, then he has the right to make that kind of decision for himself. Otherwise, he should be appreciative, not pushy, if you make the decision ON YOUR OWN to do it because you feel it would be best for your new family.

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