(Closed) Why did you (or didn't) you change your last name?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 122
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@HeartsandSparkles:  I think this is a very fair route. In Germany, they don’t let both partners hyphenate their names anymore, only one Partner can do so. The children will then also only have one name. I guess it makes sense to avoid the chaos oh having jane doe-smith getting married to john miller-white but it’s still nicer to have this option as a couple. 

 

Post # 123
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee

@Excited To Bee:  I changed my last name because i wanted my family to all have the same last name. My husband was happy for me to do whatever i wanted. I’m attached to my old name but i like having a new name. It’s like a chance to start a fresh new life πŸ™‚

Post # 124
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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@MsquareM:  Wow, I had no idea that there were so many rules about name changes in Germany! That’s an interesting solution to the Jane Doe-Smith marries John Miller-Brown dilemna. I’m not sure whether we will give our children a hyphenated last name or just one- I think we need to decide whether we want to have children first. πŸ˜‰

Post # 125
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@HeartsandSparkles:  yes, tons of rules. But as I kept my name, in the end I don’t care Hehe. 

Deciding on the kids-question first could be a good first step πŸ˜‰ 

Post # 126
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I like my name a ton. But my married name is also a great one. So I’ll be “First Middle Maiden Married” and be known socially as “First Married”

Use all the names!!!

Post # 127
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I am changing my last name even though I like my maiden name better and so does he. His last name is Smith, the most common damn last name ever, and he’s even asked if he could take my last name lol I am the only child, both of my parents are deceased, so i am also in charge of passing the name on, but I will be naming my first son my maiden name, therefore I’m still passing it on in some fashion and not completely throwing it out the window.

Post # 128
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I changed my name about a month after marriage. It took too long for the certificate to come in, otherwise I’d have had it done sooner. I knocked the entire thing out in one morning.

Post # 129
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m going to change my name. I’m also super attached to my last name, but I go by my middle name and am not attached to my legal first name.

So I’m going to be Middle Maiden NewLast after the wedding. I’m pretty excited. 

I like the idea of us being “The Lastnames” – it just makes me happy.

Post # 130
Member
10451 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I plan to change my name, thouh I don’t particularly love what my new name will be. But I just think that’s what you do when you get married. 

Post # 131
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I’m not changing my name. I like it and I’ve been trading under it for so long. 

Also, while I don’t give two hoots what other people choose to do, it just makes me uncomfortable when I think about changing my own name to his. Like someone earlier in the thread said, I don’t think men would take to changing their names as easily as women are expected to.

I could go on about patriarchal carryover, but I’ll skip it. πŸ™‚

Post # 132
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I considered changing my name, at least legally, because my husband wanted me to.  But I’m not going to.  My mom got us a guestbook and had “Myfirstname and Hisfirstname Hislastname” engraved on it…and I said, “Where my name?” and started getting a bit teary.  I am ME — my identity doesn’t change because I got married.  

My mom didn’t take my dad’s last name when she got married, but my brother and I have her last name as our middle names.  It almost never caused trouble at school — my brother and I knew we were part of a family, and our teachers knew who our parents were.  

As a teacher, I don’t get “confused” when kids’ parents’ last names aren’t the same.  I think, “oh they’re either not married or she didn’t take his name, whatever.”  It only matters if I’m making a phone call home…but seriously who gets “confused” about that?  Teachers can read…it’s not confusing.  

 

Post # 133
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens

Planning to keep mine – this has been my name for 34 years. I’m published, I have advanced degrees, and I have presented at conferences under my name. Besides, my mom kept her maiden name when she married my dad, so it just seems natural πŸ™‚ Future kids will take FIs last name, I think, just like my brother and I did. His name is MUCH earlier in the alphabet, and I got tired of being at the end (he’s a B-, I’m a W-).

Post # 134
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Excited To Bee:  hi! i have really struggled with whether or not to change my last name – i am the last in my family to carry my last name, and i am an only child. i always said i would keep my last name, but i also always said i’d never get married – and i’m 82 days away from that lol

i have decided, after discussing it with my lovely groom, who is a true southern gentleman and comes from a family rich in tradition, that i will take his name, and drop my middle name – and keep my maiden name as my middle name. it also helps that i don’t like the middle name my parents gave me!

Post # 135
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am changing my last name but I won’t be taking my future husband’s. Instead, I’ll be taking my stepfather’s last name because he has been my dad since I was three and I have no relationship with my biological father or his family.

I don’t feel the need to take my fiance’s name when we marry because I don’t think it’s something that’s relevant in this day and age. And while he agrees with me that it’s an outdated tradition, he wouldn’t be completely against it if I had a horrible last name and wanted his instead.

Post # 136
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

I’ve always been of the idea that I’d take my DH’s name once I got to that point, but I’m kind of on the fence. My Fiance really would like me to take his name, we aren’t really interested in having children, but his mother and father were in the military and his mother chose to keep her maiden name, it was always complicated for them as a dynamic. What’s really interesting is that there hasn’t been a Mrs Fi’s-last-name in many years, as his mother never took it, none of his father’s brothers have wives who have taken their names (although one is getting married a little later in life a couple months after we are, and his wife may take it!) and his sister isn’t married, so I would be the only Mrs with that last name in the entire family. Kind of funny πŸ™‚

However, I grew up in this town with a father in the business of health care, lots of people know me when I mention my last name because I look so much like my dad. I also have dreams of going to vet school, and I’ve always wanted to be a Dr. maiden-name, however my last name is hard to pronounce compared to FI’s. My family is also one big giant french Canadian family, compared to his far-spread more distant family, so for me being ‘one of the gang’ has been a really important part of my life.

I think for the first little while I’ll keep it, just so I don’t have to change my passport and do all the paperwork immediately, but I’ll go by his last name on facebook/in introductions, just my maiden name legally. In the end, I may just put my maiden name as a second middle name, that way I can still always have it.

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