Why did your last relationship end?

posted 2 weeks ago in The Lounge
Post # 47
Member
377 posts
Helper bee

He cheated. I tried again and forgave him after the first time, but the second time I had enough 

Post # 48
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm lemme see. Out of desperation I ignored all of my ‘rules’ and I got rewarded with this prize:

1. He only wanted to make last minute plans because he just didn’t like to plan things. Of course this didn’t work out well because I lived 3 effing hours away. 
2. He never wanted to come visit me, I always went to see him.
3. He would freak out if I wasn’t paying attention to him every minute. Like if his dad engaged me in conversation he would get mad that I talked to him and wasn’t paying attention to him.
4. He was super critical about me and I’m almost perfect so that was weird.
5. He was convinced that all women wanted and could have vaginal orgasms and no other sex really counted or was good.
6. He insisted on video chatting with me every night and if I had a headache he would freak out and be mad at me. 
7. He only wanted to do what he wanted, if I suggested doing anything it sucked and he would whine until I gave in.
8. We had a fight and I told him I wanted to go home, and he embarrassed me in front of his dad by announcing we were fighting because I was nuts (he had said something critical about me and I said that I thought his comments were unkind and unnecessary, which lead to him freaking out and fighting with me).
9. He legit thought women were less smart than men. 
10. He refused to be exclusive unless I ‘proved myself’ but if I dated anyone else he freaked out. 

Man he was awesome. To be fair, he was totally hot, had a doctorate in physics, a great job, was extremely skilled (spoke French, knitted, made his own beer, cheese, sushi, was just good at everything). I walked out of his place after telling him he sucked, was abusive, and terrible in bed. I went to visit a friend I had known for years and had dated before, the tickets were bought before this guy and I had anything serious. This guy convinced me to try to work things out, so I texted and video chatted him while on vacation. But then it got weird. He wanted me to call when my friend was around. Ok…so I did. Then he wanted me to video chat when my friend was around. Ok. I did that. But that wasn’t good enough because my friend was respectful and was giving us space and apparently walked too far away. At the same time, I was feeling completely over this guy, and I was realizing that I was happier than I had been in a long time on this trip and didn’t want to go home. I didn’t quite know what to do with that and wasn’t sure what I was feeling for my friend, who was way more respectful and fun. On the last night we were driving through the mountains and it was raining hard and animals were running on the road. My ex video called, and I didn’t answer. I messaged him and told him I didn’t think it would be safe to talk because my friend needed to concentrate on the road, but I was able to text with him. He wasn’t accepting of that and started to fight with me, and insisting I call him or video chat him. I was just done and told him so. 

I told my friend I broke up with that guy, to which he said good because he seemed like an asshole and I was clearly miserable. I went home, the ex contacted me to say he was going to start seeing other people and if I ‘got myself together’ we could still date. I laughed and told him I thought it was a great idea for him to see other people and I’ll never get myself together. My friend jokingly suggested I come back to visit since I wasn’t doing anything (summer vacation), and I agreed. Came out, and we started exploring a romantic relationship. Then I moved out to his state and we just got married. 

Thank you terrible ex!

Post # 49
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

It was a “for now” relationship and we just grew out of it. I feel like we were not that into each other. We liked hanging out but didn’t prioritise spending time together. Nice guy but we were not a great couple

 

Post # 50
Member
797 posts
Busy bee

socalgirl1689 :  

100% he was antsy about the time factor because he had a date with the other girl. There is not a single doubt in my mind.

Actually the Tinder thing was really weird and I ignored what should have been a warning flag. We decided to become exclusive and delete our Tinder profiles. I waited a couple of days for him to do it first, then he came and visited me and announced (unprompted) that he had deleted his Tinder profile. I went into my Tinder to delete my profile and I saw he was still there. I asked him about it and he swore up and down that he had deleted it. It completely threw me off that he had been the one to announce he had deleted it, and I thought perhaps he had deleted the app but not his profile (common mistake). Anyway, I deleted my profile and didn’t think too much more of it.

When he started becoming a little more distant and blew off plans for the first time, a little voice inside me said “check Tinder.” I created a fake profile and lo and behold, there he was. He was still a pretty devoted boyfriend at this stage so I kid myself that he had not deleted his profile but was not active. Anyway, about a week later, I swiped right on him with my fake profile and about an hour or two later I got a notification that he had matched me! The following day was when I got the break up text.

I still didn’t know that he was actually with someone else until he inexplicably blocked my number on WhatsApp one day. On a hunch, I got my friend to check his WhatsApp profile picture and sure enough it was with him and another girl, which is what he had not wanted me to see.

It all seems so obvious now, but at the time I was truly, painfully bewildered.

Post # 51
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - City, State

I don’t know if I would call it a relationship, but basically I wouldn’t put out for him and all he wanted was sex. I didn’t want to let it go even though he said he didn’t want me until I found out he “cheated” with some girl that I left.

In hindsight, it wasn’t really a relationship and he wasn’t my boyfriend, it is just due to my autism, I thought that just because you went on one successful date meant that you were in a relationship and I didn’t know this until 4 years after my now fiance and I started dating I was lucky that he thought the same way.

Post # 52
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

He died. The husband before current husband that is.

 

I dated other men before I remarried but none long enough to be considered a relationship.

Post # 53
Member
6673 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

socalgirl1689 :  he had a bad dream where I was walking away from him and not responding. So he said he loved me (we are talking a few months in). I pretended I was sound asleep and freaked out on the inside. Realized I was nothing even close to loving him and never would be – there were several dealbreakers I was overlooking because I had a boyfriend. Ended it within a couple of days and just deciding that was a weight off my shoulders. He wasn’t a bad person but we were definitely not right for each other. 

Post # 54
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

He was “too nice”.

 

He had a really toxic relationship before me, so he was terrified to ever disagree with me about anything. Even the most minimal things.. like where to eat or what movie to watch. it drove me insane. I felt like, for that reason, that he didn’t care about me much because he just wanted things to always be placid and went along with whatever. He was “perfect on paper”, but I’m a very headstrong, stubborn, and sometimes shitty person and I need someone to keep me in check and call me out when I’m crossing a line. It’s too bad really cause he was such a great guy. Just not the guy for me. 

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