Post # 1
So it’s a week before the wedding and I have about had it with my Maid/Matron of Honor. I had my bachelorette party yesterday and had a blast with my girls!. My Maid/Matron of Honor, who was throwing this for me, was the last person to show up. She called me yesterday morning to let me know that she hadn’t picked anything up. So I asked her if I needed to get anything, she told me basically everything but the 1 bottle of booze and a few decorations (banner and balloons). Mind you, she had all the contact info for the other bridesmaids, but never really followed up with them, and I basically planned and coordinated the whole thing. As in I set up all the things we were going to do, but she was the contact person. She was the first person to leave the party last night. She said she had no money, which I understand. But we were going to a hole in the wall bar, and she knew she didnt have to order any drinks, she could have drank water, and there is no cover.
This is not the first time she has slacked off. Every event I have had that I have asked her to go to, she has either bailed last minute or shown up late. I gathered all my girls at my house to put flowers together, she showed up about 30 minutes before we were done (we had been working on them for 3 hours) wrapped the ribbon around her bouquet, hung out for 20 minutes, then left. She showed up late to one shower and didn’t go with me to the other.
Now I have tried to keep things as cheap as possible for the bridesmaids, then only specific thing I have asked them to buy is the dress. I am letting them go with whatever black shoes they want, jewelry. They can choose to get their hair done or not and I am picking up the extra $10 on everyone that my girl is charging because she is driving to us. I even bought most of my own drinks for the bachelorette party (which is fine by me).
But it really hurts that she is supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and just doesn’t seem to care. She has said she doesn’t have any money, which I understand, I am not expecting her to drop all kinds of money. I just want her to be there for me as my other bridesmaids have done for me. Asking me if there is anything they can do, or seeing how I am doing just in general. I ask her and I get her life story, then I start to talk about how I’m doing and she has to go or doesn’t respond to my texts. I have a feeling that after the wedding we will drift apart. It just makes me sad and mad that I picked her to be Maid/Matron of Honor, and she hasn’t acted like she cares at all. I know no one will care more about my wedding than me, but it would be nice if she cared even a little.
Post # 3
I’m sure that is not how you imagined your Maid/Matron of Honor to behave. You seem like a reasonable bride, so I’m not sure why she is blowing you off or acting unenthusiastic about your wedding. The only thing you can do now is look forward to your wedding day and remember that the most important thing is you are getting married to your love.
Post # 4
I’m dealing with similar complications. I’m almost ready to just nix the bridal party, altogether, just because I can’t take dealing with this crap anymore. Just keep your head up. Your wedding is almost here and afterwards, you can cut ties with this girl if you choose. I’d be ready to have someone stand in her place during the wedding, though, in case she decides not to show up or something.
Post # 5
I know how you feel. That really sucks and I’m sorry.
Post # 6
I’m sorry that this happened to you. At least you have your other bridesmaids that care!
Post # 7
I am glad you guys understand. I have heard said before that you find out who your real friends are when you get married. She and I have also just been drifitng apart because our lives are going in seperate directions.
She even complained to me that when she went to buy things from the pure romance party we had, she bought one thing, claimes she was charged more than it said (which I am guessing is taxes) and the girl never gave her a discount. Well, it’s my party and those discounts and things will be coming to me! And I didn’t even get to order that night beacuse we had to be to the comedy club before 10 and her presentation ran over a little. The girl called me the next day to get my order so I can get my stuff before the wedding and told me she was sending a gift to my Maid/Matron of Honor for putting the party together. It’s just been very me me me. Same thing with the day we did flowers. She says the reason she was so late was because she was waiting for her bf to get home so she could come over too and he got home later than she thought. (The boys were invited to come grill and hang out with FH) In other words, they were both hung over and couldn’t get their butts moving!
Sorry I’m venting. I just am glad I can get it out on here rather than with her on the wedding day and create drama!
Post # 8
I also have a Maid/Matron of Honor I wish I hadn’t picked.. We’re just over a month into our planning and have 9 months to go before our day so its not like there’s a lot invested yet but still. She’s bailed on our trip to a bridal show, she bailed on our bridesmaid dress shopping trip I arranged 6 weeks in advance FOR HER and she bailed on a meet and greet bbq for our wedding party to meet each other. She’s made several comments about how she’s “going to try really hard to be there” on our wedding day (WTF?) and has made comments about not having money and she can’t help me with stuff because we have different days off. We’ve never had a problem getting together before so I don’t see why that’s an issue now.
Anyway, I’m sorry you have to deal with this, I understand what it’s like and it sucks. I hope everything works out for you!