(Closed) “Why didn’t you ask me to be one of your maids of honor?”

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

euwwwwww. do not like.

HOWEVER, i love that you had an engagement picnic!  j’adorable.

Post # 4
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

No, you aren’t being unreasonable. Nobody really knows how anyone else’s friendships function. Just like there’s only two people in a marriage, there’s only two people in a friendship too! Sounds like she had it in her head that you two would be each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor or something and she’s just feeling a bit sore about it because she wanted to be more involved. At least she’s a BM! I had to tell a friend that not only was she not my Maid/Matron of Honor but she wasn’t invited to my ceremony cause it was family only. It didn’t go down well and we didn’t talk for a while but we’re friends again now.

Post # 5
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Um…no, you’re not being unfair.  Maid/Matron of Honor is an honorary title, and it doesn’t sound like she’d live up to the honor.  She sounds kinda flakey to me.  I’d brush it off and forget about it.  There are so many reasons you didn’t call her Maid/Matron of Honor, and she’s just giving you one more.

Post # 6
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t even know why you asked her to be a BM! If she’s the kind of person to even think of giving you a hard time about this, she doesn’t deserve to even stand that day.

Post # 7
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with the other ladies…because she doesn’t deserve to be a MOH!  You didn’t want her as one anyways, so try not to let it bug you too much!  It was her that was rude for asking you that, not you for deciding not to ask her!

Post # 8
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

wow. Are you me? This happened to me. I’m sorry this happened. It’s crazy when people assume 1) they are even in the wedding party and 2) that they are a Maid/Matron of Honor. Especially if they aren’t organized.

In my case the bridesmaid never actually said, “why didn’t you ask me” but that is what happened. I had chosen my future SIL–and dear friend–to be my Maid/Matron of Honor instead of picking between my Bridesmaid or Best Man friends(like her) I had known for a long time. This girl wasn’t even the Bridesmaid or Best Man I had known the longest. 

The Bridesmaid or Best Man acted like it was no big deal after mentioning it one time. But it was. She never showed interest in my wedding and we had lots of issues. Eventually she wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man anymore cause she wouldn’t buy the dress. I was sad, but in the end it was for the best.

Weddings are funny. They can bring out people’s true character. Good luck! Don’t feel bad about your decision.

Post # 9
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I have a friend that sounds exactly like this…and guess what!? She’s not a bride’s maid anymore.

It’s your day and your plans, so that friend needs to realize this. She’s being selfish even to ask such a thing! It sounds like her track record speaks for itself….

Hopefully this all works out for you. Don’t let her ruin all those pleasant thoughts you’re supposed to be having about your wedding right now. A real friend wouldn’t rain on your parade. She should be lucky you even chose her to be a bride’s maid (that in itself is a good gesture).

I wouldn’t loose any sleep over this if I was you! Good luck!

Post # 10
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

WOW she sounds awfully needy, selfish, and has quite an overblown sense of entitlement!  I think we all have a friend like this… am I right to assume you probably asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man not because you 100% wanted her in the wedding party but because you knew she’d have a fit if you didn’t?  I have a friend like that too, and I love her but sometimes she pulls that crappy selfish stuff too, very similar to what you listed above.  Of course she’s the first to toot her own horn when someone does the same to her, preaching at how much better she is and how she would never do something like that… very hypocritical.  Is you friend like this?  My advice: leave it be!  She’s not happy?  oh well.  Let her deal with it and put it out of your mind.  It’s a hard situation because if you were to point out all this awful behavior she probably wouldn’t be able to handle it, as I am sure all of this stems from massively low self esteem.  But I bet she’s quick to point things out when she’s not happy with you!  Can you tell I have experience with this??? 🙂 

Post # 11
16196 posts
Honey Beekeeper

She’s way out of line. Don’t let her get to you; you don’t have to justify yourself, especially since she IS a bridesmaid. So sorry she’s acting like this!

Post # 12
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Little Flapper: If she really did all those things….why is she even a bridesmaid?

I see a “How do I kick a Bridesmaid or Best Man out of my wedding?” post coming from you in about a month.

Post # 14
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

The last time I checked the bride gets to decide who she wants as her moh, not the other way around. She shouldnt be asking you to make her moh or even asking why you didnt choose her as moh.. thats left a bad taste in my mouth that she would text you that

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