(Closed) Why Didn't You Marry Your Ex?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I dated my ex for close to 3 years. About 2 years into our relationship I moved an hour away, but we still saw each other all the time – whether I drove to see him or he drove to spend the weekend with me. Then, he moved 3 hours away. We were managing the LDR for quite some time, but then he became really possessive of me, controlling, and JEALOUS. I started a new job and made tons of new friends and he just wasn’t having any of that. One night I went out with my new friends to the movies and accidentally turned my phone off. When I turned it back on I had tons of missed calls, voicemails, and texts with him freaking out. When I did call him he said he was on his way to see me. Seriously?! It was then that I realized I couldn’t be with him if he was going to be like that any time I went out with my friends. During the course of our relationship he broke up with me 3 times for various reasons, but in the end I broke up with him FOR GOOD.

Post # 4
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

… short answer: “I didn’t marry my ex because I had more sense”. Long answer… gosh… where do I begin?

My lasy ex before Fiance was a Tory. I am not. We were politically incompatible…

Post # 5
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I dated my last ex for a total of 6 years.  We broke up when I was 19, he was 22.  I didn’t marry him because, well, it never occurred to me.  I was really young and never thought about marriage.  Also, we were so wrong for each other!  He’s a great guy, we just had nothing in common.  Five months after we broke up, I started dating my now Fiance.  I knew he was the right one because within a few weeks, I knew I wanted to marry him.  And I never even considered getting married before that!

Post # 6
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I was also in an LDR for about a year. He was two years younger than me and I was just starting college, and his immaturity definitely showed as soon as I entered college. He insisted we talk on the phone 2-3 hours a night and didn’t want me to make any new friends at college, which made me homesick and miserable. He also said he was self-harming for me (cutting himself): I’m not sure if it was true or not (I hope it wasn’t), but it was another passive-agressive technique to get me to stay with him. He had many of those–and he also put me down in sneaky ways, like telling me when I started exercising that if I gained too much muscle he wouldn’t think I was hot anymore (what the crap?). But I kept in the relationship because I really wanted to “fix” him–he had a lot of problems, and I wanted to save him from myself.

Finally, just after one year together, I was talking to one of my new college guy friends one night. He was talking about how he was always stuck in the friend zone with girls who he really liked that always had jerky boyfriends. He then said, “But I bet your boyfriend is great.” That sentance made me realize that I really WAS dating a jerk, and I broke up with my ex that night and have never regretted the decision. Five months later, I started dating that guy friend, who is now my fiance, and we’ve been together over two incredible years! 

Post # 7
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Well after he cheated on me 6 times, the last time with my best friend of 20 years and got her pregnant, I didn’t think that me marrying him would be the smartest thing.

Post # 8
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My EX was POSSESIVE!!!! He jumped down my throat about every male friend I have! He went through all my friends list in Facebook… He was always jealous and once he almost got into a fight with a guy who asked me directions of the area while I was waiting for my boyfriend near the train station.

I’m very laid back that kind of thing and really don’t mind my bf having female friends as I have a lot of guy friends. So I’m happy with my Fiance who always trusts me.

Post # 9
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsShayona:  OMG I hope you punched the HELL outta HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOD RIDDANCE! 

Post # 10
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was so young when I dated my last ex that geting married wasn’t even on my radar.  Ultimately I broke up with him after a few months because I was just not physically attracted to him.  He was a super nice guy and I thought I might get over it but that didn’t happen.  I went away for a few weeks and I realized how much more he was into me than I was into him.  It wasn’t fair, I broke it off.

Post # 11
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was with my last ex for a little over 4 years. The simplest reason why I didn’t marry him: He was a violent, angry, f***ed up person. He and I were best friends for a very long time, and then his entire personality and temper got progressively worse as time went by. He would come home and take his anger out on me, and after a broken nose and 2 broken ribs… well, you could say I got sick of being a punching bag.

I am marrying the love of my life in 6 days and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!

Post # 12
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I dated a bunch of people before my fiance, but the longest was with this guy who…like looking back, I have NO idea why I liked him!  He was skinnier than I am, which sucked.  He would make disapproving faces when I ate ANYTHING, and when I drank…he lived with his parents (he was 26 or so; I was 23-24)…

While we were dating, my best friend and I had a HUGE fight and didn’t see each or talk to each other for…five or six months.  FINALLY, on New Year’s, we made up, and we started seeing each other again.  So I would drive to Harrisburg to visit her (and her brother…) and then come back.  That April, I realized that I was happier visiting my friend (and her brother…) than I was even just seeing my boyfriend, so I broke up with him.  We got back together for like a day, and had a conversation in which he said, “If we ever get married, you’re not going to be able to hang out with [your best friend] as much…” and I was like, UM YEAH we’re done.  

 

And…it just so happens that my fiance is my best friend’s brother…

Post # 13
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Out of 5 weddings I went to with my ex of 3 years, we managed to have REALLY big fights at 3 of them.. that’s how wrong things were.

I loved him with all my heart and we would constantly get complimented everywhere we went about what a “good looking couple” we made, but it hurt so bad with each fight we had.. and we were constantly walking on eggshells around each other.  A good relationship really shouldn’t be so hard, and I knew this.  I ultimately had to break it off.

Post # 14
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I broke up with my ex that I was with for 4 years… we started dating my sophmore year in high school. … WHO was a Fiance after living with him for like a year. I was in the fire department when I was in HS, and stopped when I moved. I missed the FD and wanted to go back, but I was ALWAYS working 2 jobs, I was never home. I was home to sleep.. and sad to say when I got home at like @ am I would wash my work shirts in the sink and hang them, his mom would be nice at @ 6am an throw them in the dryer for me. I would get up at 8 am and work my two jobs.. I would work from 8 am till 1 am between the jobs and its was nothing to me i was trying to save. and he worked alot to, But nothing Like I did.

I wanted a car and was planning on going to college, I needed money.

Hell I eveb worked 63 days straight, take a day off and then do it all again.. One day I was at work and was like, what the hell amd I doing I miss the FD and EMS. So I started to voli at a EMS company, that lasted 3 months and then I was like I have to go back to the FD.. He faught with me about it, but I said “it was here before you it will be here after you.” Meaning the Fire Department. He gave no goo reason Y i shouldnt do the Fire stuff. I was an active firefighter before I had moved, he knew what I did back home. Finally, I put in my application and was accepted as a voli…

I got my car, and then a few months later I started taking classes with the firedepartment and attending drill and running on calls… I was happy, but still working a ton. When my Fiance and I were together we never talked and when he did it was arguing about the fire department. Then one night he was like lets go to the fireworks… me sweet, lets go. we were actually talking and i was in line waiting for food talking with him. a few of the guys saw us in line, and they came up to say him and introduce them self. They were great, saying nice to finnaly meet you, we hear soo many goo things about you, they even asked him y he didnt join. He was like soo not him self and not saying anything. They left us to go do other things, and we got our food. He was then like cant believe you put them up to that, and all this stuff, and we were walking.. he walked to his jeep, that WE came in and locked the doors and left. Left me. and then text me telling me i had to find a way home.. I stayed went to the guys and toold them what happend, and after the fireworks got a ride home.. my ex was a totall a$$ when i got home. He said he was sorry later and wanted to work things out..

  After a few days of thinking about it, and I was home sick in bed. I was like Nope I cant do this anymore. I filled out applications for appartments with out him knowing about it. and 2 days later I was approved, and then said it was over and i was moving out. After all my crap was at my new place, and he had just gotten home.

Just as a refrance the amount of stuff i has was 2 plactic dressers and my clothes fit in a huge nike bag.. after living together for almost a year… sad when i look at the amount of stuff i had.

Post # 15
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I didn’t marry my Ex because…. I met my Darling Husband while we were together Innocent

Post # 16
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh, and the huge reason for these fights were due to the fact that this guy had the shortest fuse I ever encountered.. every little thing would set him off..!  He was nitpicky & fussy about the pettiest things.

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