(Closed) why do all my friends have such bad taste in partners??

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Ugh – tell em about it!  I have a very dear friend who is stunningly beautiful, with a heart of gold, great men fawn at her feet, BUT she keeps on going back (for 5 years now) to the guy that treats her like shit. 

1. He refuses to go out in public with her, because he’s embarrased by her body.

2. He goes to Thailand every year, has sex with prostitutes, goes to brothels, and posts pcitures on his FB for everyone to see – and publicly humiliate her.

3. They split up in January, and since then he calls her up after he’s been out, for HER to go to HIS house at 4am for a booty-call.

4. He won’t go to the beach with her, because she has stretch-marks, and his friends will laugh, but he has no problem with going there with whatever girl is his bit-on-the-side that day.

What really pisses me off is that she keeps on trying to get back with him, and does some crazy crap to get his attention.  We’re all slowly getting fed-up of it all, and are debating a big intervention… yet again…  Her response is “But I know he loves me, he bought me flowers” (Those flowers were in 2009).

 

Post # 5
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

Me me me!!!  My “friend” (who has turned into a huge jerk lately so quotations are necessary) is always throwing her perfect relationship in my face.  I’ve learned not to confide if I have an argument with my SO because, even if it’s something so insiginicant like me being annoyed that he washed my reds with his whites, she tells me “oh you should leave him because me and J never have problems like that.  You deserve a perfect relationship like the one I have :D”.  Little does she know that over the summer, while she was away for two weeks visiting family, her “perfect” boyfirend tried to hook up with several girls, including ME!!!  He was texting me constantly telling me how awful she was and how he’d always wanted to be with me, and when I told him to go jump off a tall building  he admitted he’d been doing it with other girls he worked with because he wanted some “fun” while his lame girlfriend was gone!!!  I never told her because it gives me enormous satisfaction to know that little secret while she’s bragging about how perfect they are together :D.

Second one is more serious, my best friend just got married to someone with bipolar disorder who refuses to go see a counselor or take medication :(.  When he’s depressed he’s “too sad” to go and when he’s manic he “feels great and doesn’t need to go.”  So he cycles back and forth and when I recently asked her “how are you and J doing (different J than first stoy)?” she just responded “ugh.”  I really really wish she hadn’t gone through with it and tried to warn her when she first told me, but she didn’t want to hear it 🙁

Post # 6
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

ugh, I don’t understand this either!

I have a friend who I LOVE to DEATH (she’s one of my BMs) but I can’t stand her choice in men.

She is tall, very pretty and exotic looking with a great body. She is a graphic designer and very artsy so she puts all sorts of insane outfits together that no one could ever pull off but somehow she does it and looks stunning. She has an amazing job, is extremely smart and responsible . . . but she goes searching for guys in the trash.

Her first serious Boyfriend or Best Friend was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who mumbled when he spoke, wore the same, gross “uniform” of khakis and a dirty white tshirt everywhere they went, and had no ambition to work anywhere except a pizza shop his entire life. He bought her horribly gaudy, ridiculous gifts (including bizarre sexual gifts) and spent most of his money on ugly tattoos (nothing against tattoos but his were weird), collectible guns and knives, but had no money to get his own place or take care of his crappy car.

Another guy she dated was at least cleaner and dressed better, but he was an arrogant snob. His family had money so he never had to work for anything . . . so he never did. Instead he played poker as a job, and although he was good at it and won a lot and made a lot of money, he had ZERO responsibility or ambition. He pissed the prize money away on booze and partying and random girls (besides my friend) and frivilous traveling and other stupid crap.

The guy she’s with now . . . .oh, where do I start? He’s . . . creepy. Doesn’t really talk to anyone except her and a small group of white trash friends. Like, he won’t even talk to the waitress when they go out to eat. She has to order for him. Has weird tendencies. Was borderline violent as a child. Amateur wrestler. Hangs out with people who do drugs. Likes knives. Um. Yeah. I actually worry about her safety from time to time.

 

Post # 7
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh my I Get what you’re saying!

1) my best friend- her relationship is a disaster.  He’s a lazy slob.  THey live in a tiny apartment which she doesn’t even let anyone come over b/c it’s “so cluttered”.  I lived with her for awhile and she has a different level of “Cleanliness/Clutter” than I do… So for her to say it is a mess— it’s gotta be bad.  Her wedding is in 2 wks and he just got out of the hospital for Congestive Heart Failure.  The dr told him basically he must lose weight or die… very young (he’s 38 now).  They came to our house for dinner this weekend- I cooked a heart healthy meal— they brought the dessert– and he opted for 2 slices of pie (maybe more, he snuck in to have the 2nd!).  They joke about how she’ll be on his life insurance after the wedding….. but i’m fairly certain my BFF will be a widow. Let’s not even go into his immaturity- but he’s 10 years older than us…. and acts like he’s about 12 years old.

2) My dad.  Oy, I do not dislike his gf/soon-to-be fiance.  But, she has the mentality of a teenager. Granted, she’s only a few years older than me (I’m 29)…. But she threw a huge hissy fit at my bday party b/c my mom is still so close to my dad’s parents.  My mom’s pictures are still up in their house— and this hurt the gf’s feelings (they’ve been there since I was little… and the ENTIRE time she’s known my dad… not sure why she had to throw a fit that specific day.  So my dad tells me they’re going to get engaged soon…. I’m THRILLED!  BLAH

3)  Now, this is a bit different.  I feel like all of my friends, as much as I love them and would do ANYTHING for them– are naggy & mean wives.  All for different reasons.  I honestly pity their husbands a lot of the time.  My cousin’s poor husband can walk in their house from work 5 minutes “late” — and she’s in a tyrade about how he is late and should’ve been home like 20 minutes ago he’s a horrible father b/c all he does is work (coincidentally- he does work a lot SO THAT SHE CAN STAY AT HOME… and when he is home he is a fabulous father)… blah blah blah blah blah. She also is into the attachment parenting— with a twist— she doesn’t make her children mind and basically lets them run her life– to each their own— but since she has that strong bond with their kids– when her husband TRIES to parent their kids- she directly underminds (sp?) him and will just glare at him like “how dare you tell him Not to throw trash around the room!”   The BFF that I mentioned above is a nag to her lazy FI— and then spouts off to me about how she b*%#!ed him out for not doing something– and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t change b/c she just did it 2 days ago.  The last time I believe my response was “Have you ever heard the definition of insanity?”   There are a ton of other examples of their controlling, crazy and naggy behavior—but sometimes I wonder A) if I will turn into that  and B) why are all these girls so miserable? Their husbands are all VERY sweet to them and sadly they do genuinely TRY to make them happy.  So I guess I sometime wonder how my friends found such great guys— and why the guys Deal with their BS

Post # 9
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

@Stace126:  That guy would creep me out too. What could she possibly see in him??

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