Post # 1
I just dont understand,
- your bridesmaid gets pregnant? dont need to freak.
- If your maid of honour shaves her head? So what?
- If your groomsmen gets a dragon tatt on his neck? nothing should change
- Best man just got in a bazooka misshap and now has a scar? soo?
- Flowergirl just got glasses and they are big coke bottles? meh
- Ring bearer just broke his arm? he can still do his part!
These arent reasons to ‘unbridesmaid’ someone. If you love them enough to want them to stand by your side on your big day then respect their individualtiy, and support them!
If you cant look at yourBM/GM/FG/RB and say ‘i will still want them right next to me even if they are pregnant/bald/tattooed/scared/sporting bandages and or large accessories, then maybe your shouldnt ask them to be in your bridal party at all!!??
oh and my Bridesmaid or Best Man has a large scar across her throat (gotten after i asked her to stand with me), another Bridesmaid or Best Man just got pregnant, and Groomsmen got a large noticable tattoo.
Post # 3
I would only not want a pregnant bridesmaid if she was due within a couple weeks of the wedding. Because I don’t need to force an 8/9 month pregant woman to stay up for that long and I don’t need to force a woman with a newborn to not hold him during the ceremony.
Post # 4
I dunno. Stress I guess? How much they buy into the “i’m the bride!” (thus princess?) mentality as well.
Post # 5
trust me i have bridezilla moments! but i just dont see or understand why these are reasons to get upset over. they ar still the same person!!
@asscherlover: if she was heavilly pregnant and i had a long ceremony i would have seats for all BMs and GMs, so no problem. if the dad cant hold the newborn, or if baby wont settle i dont see why Bridesmaid or Best Man cant hold baby.
Post # 6
I believe brides have a “vision” in their heads of a perfect wedding. There is NO such thing as a perfect wedding. Brides want their pictures to be perfect, people to look perfect, everyone to match, bridesmaids to have the same hair/make up/shoes/jewelry..etc. What reality is and what is in their heads is definately 2 different things.
Sometimes there is no control over things and the more you try to tame it the wilder it gets.
Post # 7
@Ill Be Mrs B: true that.
personally, if i had a flower girl with coke bottle glasses i would LOVE it.
Post # 8
@Ill Be Mrs B: thats exactly what i mean!
Post # 9
@Ashley_B: me too, it’d be like a mini me!
Post # 10
The posts where someone thinks a bridesmaid is “ruining” their day always make me a little sad and confused. I guess I’m weird in that my “vision” for our wedding is all the people we love best celebrating with us. Do I always like my friends’ personal style choices (or opinions, or lifestyle choices)? Nope. Nor do they always agree with mine. But our friendship supercedes those things. Why should it be any different on my wedding day?
Or, if you do have a very specific vision and it will ruin your day to have it altered…then maybe you should choose your bridal party more carefully in the first place.
Post # 11
And really is the wedding party in so many pictures that a tat/scar/big belly/cast will “ruin” the entire wedding album? In all the albums I’ve looked at of other ppls wedding, there’s a handful out of hundreds prominantly featuring the wedding party. And even in those pics I pay the Wedding Party little attention and focus on the happy couples.
Some brides should realize that guest/family/friends don’t even notice most of the shit they obsess about.
Post # 12
This one time when I got married, my Maid/Matron of Honor was hit by a bus a week before the wedding. She had the nerve to show up at my wedding in a wheelchair with massive casts on each limb and half her hair shaved off because of where they needed to cut into her skull to alleviate the pressure. Ugh. I still get so angry when I think about it. I haven’t spoken with her since.
Post # 13
I wanted my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man to choose their own dress as long as it was black. Did they match perfectly? No. Did they coordiniate? Yes. Do I love looking at my pics remembering our day? Most definately YES!!!
My Bridesmaid or Best Man has 2 tattoos on her shoulder and asked me if I wanted her to cover them up. I said “No, your tatts make you, YOU”!! My Maid/Matron of Honor was super self consious about her weight and I told her to choose a flattering dress, slap on the spanx and get up there with me and smile!!! I love my girls!!!
Post # 14
@Pokemon: I have a preggy Bridesmaid!! I love it. But I HAD 2… one dropped out because it was all too much for her. I am very sad, but I understand.
Post # 15
THANK YOU – so glad to hear this perspective.
I am feeling totally burned out on wedding stuff that is all about how stuff looks and not about relationships with the people who care about you. I just had a bridal shower in which my mom’s friends were all SHOCKED when I said I didn’t choose my bridesmaids’ dresses but asked them to find something they wanted to wear…because I love them and having their smiling faces in the photos is what I care about!
@GreenEyedMoon: LOL at the sarcasm, but eek if that really happened!
Post # 16
i think sometimes people lose perspective… My sister/MOH broke her ankle a month before the wedding. I was just concerned about her trying to walk and I was trying to find her some flats to wear instead of her heels. She was the one all heartbroken about wearing a cast to the wedding! AND she ended up healing just fine and getting to wear her heels afterall, very carefully of course (again, I tried to get her to change to flats, she insisted on the heels!)
but yes i can see being concerned about a 8 or 9 months pregnant woman, just because of the fact that she may have the baby anytime around then and will also be very overwhelmed with her own stuff, I wouldn’t want to burden her with my wedding drama