(Closed) Why do couples not send thank you cards/emails? Rant.

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I will be sending thank you cards for my wedding. I will say though, I ALMOST forgot to send thank yous for my shower. I’m not a rude person, just a little absent minded at times. 

Post # 3
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m three weeks post-wedding and freaking out that I haven’t yet sent thank yous (they’re not in from the stationer yet!).

Cant believe that people would not send notes at all!

Post # 4
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

Totally agree with you!!! We’ve sent large sums of money to several weddings in recent years, ( since we live in a different state than our family) and received NADA! No card, no text, no thank you at all! Same as weddings we’ve attended! Drives me nuts! I sent out over 200 thank yous for my wedding, and 50 for my shower. Plus 150 thank yous for flowers and donations when my Father-In-Law passed away. I don’t get it either! People are so dam rude and lazy!!!!!!!!! There’s MY rant!!!!! 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  beetruz13.
Post # 5
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I can not believe that people would really not send thankyou notes!

Post # 7
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I’m all about thank yous. They are a pain to buy, write and send, but I know a lot of people count on them. I’m looking at around 250 total to do. My poor hand.

Post # 9
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

How rude! 🙁

We plan on writing & sending them as we receive registry notices, and then anything we receive at the wedding proper & no-gifts we’ll have to do after the honeymoon (so 2-3 weeks after… I really don’t look forward to nagging my new Darling Husband to write his.  He’s really, really, really bad at doing that sort of thing.)

(We will be sending thank yous to people who do not gift, but do attend, since almost everyone we know has to travel for our wedding and the $100-$400 per person cost of travel, plus hotel stay, is a huge gift in our opinion.)

Post # 10
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

That would really annoy me too!  My BMs/MOH/FMIL threw me a bridal shower on Saturday afternoon in the town where my Future Mother-In-Law and 2 BMs live (3 hours away from my house).  I stayed over Saturday night and drove home Sunday.  My thank you notes for everyone who gave or sent a gift for the shower or who hosted were in the mailbox before I went to bed last night and went out in the mail today.  I won’t get the ones for the wedding out quite as quickly (going on the honeymoon the Monday after), but I will get them out within 2-3 weeks of getting back from our trip.  

Post # 11
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve not never got a thank you to the weddings ive been to. But also I’m having to wait for our photographer to make ours so next week will be a month since the wedding and i havent even started writing them … eek 

Post # 12
Member
11574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yeah, this is a pet peeve of mine. I send thank yous for everything. I have personalized stationery with my name letterpressed on the cards just so I can send a quick thanks after a dinner party or whatever. 

I get that some people are busy etc, but if someone is a repeat offender — as in, never even acknowledges the gift via email or during a call or in person, I stop sending gifts to them. 

Post # 13
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

amanda1988:  We plan on doing the same. Cards for every attendant regardless of gift but we’ll definitely mention a gift if they do so they know we did receive it safely.

Post # 14
Member
13707 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is no excuse for not sending handwritten, personalized thank you cards.   For a wedding gift, a thank you text or email is insufficient, impersonal, and not gracious.  

I have never been to a wedding where we did not get a handwritten thank you card.  Sometimes they are very late (4-6 months after the fact), but more often than not, they’re received within a month or two of the wedding.

Post # 15
Member
262 posts
Helper bee

I will definitely send thank you notes after my wedding because they are important to FI’s family. To be honest, though, I personally hate them. When I give someone a gift it’s because I want them to have it, not because I expect acknowledgment. Seems like an unnecessary hassle in people’s already overbooked lives to me. But I care about my future in-laws, so like I said, I’ll still be sending them.

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