Why do [did] you want to get married?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’ve always wanted to be married.  I love the idea of a 2nd half the person that completes you.  It took me a bit of time to find that person but we are so happy now and we are both of the same frame of mind.  Love, marriage, children are important to both of us.  We are so excited to be taking this journey with each other.

Post # 4
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Good question. We too are already living as a married couple, so why bother doing the whole weddin + marriage thing? I like your explanation.

To me, it feels more definite. More final. We are a family, we are the *his last name*s.

And of course there’s the silly reasons, we get to have a wedding, lol, it’s more accaptable to have children, tax benefits. 😉

Post # 6
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Marquisemiss… love itself isn’t complicated.  Love is the easy part, communication is more difficult.  Our lives are complicated, our ties to other people are complicated.  Language/words are not enough and makes it more difficult to explain ourselves.  

Post # 7
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I’ve always wanted a family, so that would be my answer!

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I always thought the only reason to get married was if you wanted kids.  Otherwise it seemed like there was no good reason.  I was SO wrong!  I love being married and its not just to have a family.   I want to be married to be committed to my wonderful, loving, supportive, funny, smart, passionate guy.    I want to love him, support him, share a life with him, maybe have kids with him, grow old with him.  I don’t think you necessarily need to be married to have these things, but I think I do!

Post # 10
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Marriage is the next step in our journey together, it is part of the stepping stones of life.   It is our way to show the world we are commited to each other and therefore already taken.   We always say we will grow old together and can see ourselves out on the front porch in our rockers still in love 🙂  We love each other very much so naturally we want to get married, and eventually start a family.

All that mushy stuff being said, we still have our up’s and down’s, we are human.  But it only strengthens us as a couple… and we only become deeper connected. 

Post # 11
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

For us, it’s a spiritual thing – we’re both Catholic. And while we’re by no means perfect (we’ve been ‘living in sin’ for years!), both of us believe that pledging our lives to each other before God and our families is the most profound and romantic gesture we can make. Both of us come from divorced families, so we both know the consequences of breaking that lifelong promise. It makes the fact that we still want to do this that much sweeter.

Post # 13
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

it’s interesting b/c fizicsGuy doesn’t really believe the formal institution of marriage is necessary.  We’ve lived together for almost 3 years now (though he moved to his current job 6 mos before I did), and I’m pretty sure that about 1.5 years ago he had decided without question that this is what he wanted for the rest of his life and so in his mind he was "married" to me…except for my own indecisiveness.  But I’ve always beleived that the actual "marriage" part has to do with making the commitment in front of everything/everyone that matters to you.  If you’re religious, then in front of God first and foremost.  And regardless, in front of the people you care about.  In a way it’s also making a promise to them and asking for their help/support in return.

In a way, my indecisiveness had less to do with my FH and more to do with me.  Was I ready to make such a commitment to anything/anyone?  Was I ready to actively create my own family (and I mean just him and me, we want kids but probably not for a year or two)?  And also, b/c I’m in such a heavily male-dominated career I think I’ve also been afraid of losing my identity or professional independence.  But knowing that my FH is the one person that could make me willing to risk all the downsides of marriage is really how I knew he was right and I was ready.  B/c I have always wanted to go on such a journey, but never with someone who wasn’t worth it.

Post # 14
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wasn’t sure I would ever get married, until I started dating my Fiance.  I’m a very independent person and have always had issues with the idea of anyone depending on me or being around me all the time.  I also have a lot of problems that are not likely to go away anytime soon.  I didn’t think it was possible to meet someone with whom I could be truly comfortable, and who would be truly comfortable and accepting of me, enough so that I would actually be able to consider being with that person forever. But I have. 

Here I am, 22 years old, and I have found this man whom I know is right for me.  We talk about the future we will have together, and we’re excited for it.  My whole outlook on the future has been positively changed by being with him, and he says the same of me.  We are better people together than we would be apart.  I’m so excited to be Mrs. HisName.  And if we have children (which we also talk about, which is also something I didn’t think I wanted to do until recently), it is really important to me that both of their parents have the same last name as they have.

I suppose my answer was a little more in line with "why do you want to marry you SO?" specifically…oops

Post # 15
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Having a partner to share your life is a powerful thing. I don’t really have a lot of use for institutions/convention/tradition, but my fiance needed to have this public statement of our commitment. I had always said that I didn’t need to get married, but later, I’ve realized that relationships don’t exist in vacuums, and getting/being married actually adds strength to our already very strong relationship because now we have our community (family and friends and tax laws) to support us and affirm our decision to share our lives. Marriage is not just having your own family but also joining a larger community.

 I also agree with the other sentiments on this thread. Love is the minimum you need for a good marriage. Mostly it’s about trust, communication, and work. It’s getting up every day and resolving to actively loving your partner in real and tangible ways.

Post # 16
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

We got married for spiritual reasons too. I believe that the institution of marriage is something special, a sacrament, and that committing yourselves to one another before (for us) God and your families and friends creates a real bond that cannot exist when you are just living together (which we did too, fwiw). I believe most people were meant to live in this sort of bond. Marriage imbues your relationship with stability and permanence like nothing else. Knowing I can’t just walk away (not that I want to) makes me a better person.

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