Post # 1
Hey everyone i don’t know why it bugs me but a while ago i saw that Fiance was on a site called Curvage.org (he left it on the computer i didn’t snoop or anything) anyway what ever floats your boat i guess, but it bothered me that it was a forum/chat site so not just videos and pictures. Anyway he said he would stop because it just made me feel very self concious and unattractive to him (im on a journey to lose alot of weight and the girls on this site are like 300 pounds + ) i asked him randomly last night if he still goes there, and he flat out said no. I saw his phone on the table the next morning and he was on it just yesterday! Grrr did he do it to spite me? maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal but why can’t he just tell the truth then i would’nt be angry about it why could’nt he just say he still goes on these sites i feel like he just is’nt attrated to me now that i’m losing weight i hate being lied to. 🙁 am i over reacting? i feel ugly maybe he hid it because it makes me feel this way? should i just mind my own business?
Post # 3
Because he probably thought if he told you the truth you’d be upset. If he lies, there’s always the chance you won’t find out and the inevitable fight is averted. If he tells the truth, he expects you to be upset. So he took his chances.
In short, guys lie for the same reason women do.
Post # 4
He most likely hides it because he doesn’t want to make you upset, or think of him any differently. I was just thinking about why people lie in general, and that is what I came up with. Usually, it is to protect the other person in some way, or to avoid any conflict. I wish people would realize that telling the truth in the first place is much easier than telling a lie, and having the other person find out. Because not only will they be upset about what you lied about, they will be upset about the fact that you lied, period.
Post # 6
I had an ex-boyfriend that always lied to me about watching porn. Looking back, I think he did it to keep me from feeling inferior, etc. It always bothered me that he looked at it. I doubt he is trying to hurt your feelings or anything like that, so I wouldn’t take it personally.
Post # 7
People lie to avoid the consequences of their actions or beliefs.
Sometimes the consequences are unfair, like a guy who occasionally looks at perfectly normal porn but lies because he knows (or thinks) his Girlfriend will freak out about it. He is not lying to protect her from feeling inferior, he’s lying because he doesn’t want to face the inevitable consequences. If he’s going to be truthful, either A) he continues looking at porn and has a perpetually pissed of Girlfriend, B) he has to quit looking at porn and feels frustrated and resentful, or C) he breaks up because its not healthy to be with someone who freaks out about normal stuff. He knows he doesn’t deserve A, isn’t willing to accept B, and isn’t really all that fond of C either. So he lies.
Sometimes the consequences are totally fair, like a guy who lies about cheating. Again, he doesn’t want to face the consequences. He wants to have his cake and eat it too, so he lies.
In both cases, the liar lacks strength, integrity, and respect for the person they’re lying to. If you know what you’re doing is wrong, don’t do it. If you know what you’re doing is not wrong, own up to it. Both parties deserve to have all the facts and make their decisions accordingly. If someone is not willing to live with porn or cheating, that’s their prerogative. If someone is not willing to live without porn or cheating, that’s their prerogative too, but they need to be honest about it and accept what that means.
Post # 8
Thank you for your replies we had a heated discussion about it and he did say he knew that i’d be upset. He’s embarresed about the natrue of the site but says he has been on it since high school and that it has 0 to do with me he told me all of his emotinal feelings about his life so it was a good talk because he is very emotinally unavailable so it was good that he opened up all is well and i’m losing weight for me and my health if wants to look at 400+ pound women theres nothing i can do about it.It does still hurt me a bit that i’m not enough but at least i know it will always be there but it won’t effect us as a couple.