(Closed) Why do I attract these people?! Crazy story…

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

UMMMMM I got nothin… Sorry!!!  But I really hope you can figure out a way to get away from this chick, she seems crazy! Good luck and hugs 🙂

Post # 6
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Creepy creepy creepy! This lady has some issues obviously! Keep your distance! 

Post # 7
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Tell her over the phone that you don’t want to hang out or speak with her again, ask her to stop with the food. If you feel in danger, call the police and work on getting a restraining order. 

Or move if it comes to that. 🙁  

Post # 10
168 posts
Blushing bee

@FrenchNewlyWed:  Holy cow, that is insanely creepy and clingy and needy.  I don’t even know what to tell you.  I would leave the food there, do not answer her calls.  If she catches you outside of the apartment, say that you’ve been busy with work and had family issues, and that’s it.  Don’t offer to make plans with her, and retreat to your apartment and lock the door.  I think she’ll get over it eventually, but if not, call the police.

Post # 11
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

🙁 that’s crazy. guess she’s lonely but that is definitely definitely crazy town!

Is there a back door you can exit the building from??

Post # 12
168 posts
Blushing bee

@FrenchNewlyWed:  Also, I wouldn’t eat that food.  She’s crazy, who knows what she’s done to it.

Post # 13
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Please take this in the spirit it is given- as (hopefully helpful) advice.

In both of these situations, you are the common denominator.

Both of these people are behaving inappropriately but you have contributed to the problem by not putting a stop to their behavior or establishing clear boundaries to begin with. They both thought that their behavior was acceptable which means (without realizing it) you probably did something to encourage it.

I would re-examine your actions with a fresh and objective eye and looks for times or situations where you felt uncomfortable about small incidences but did not say anything for fear of causing embarassment.

Next time, say something upfront. It will save a lot of embarassment later on.

Post # 15
1447 posts
Bumble bee

The WORST thing you can do in this situation is allow your “guilty” feelings and “fear” dictate how you behave around her.  It sounds like since you feel lonely being in a new city alone that you yourself are a bit needy and eager to please (I’m totally not blaming you for that).  But people like her feed on that type of energy, because you’re less likely to have strong boundaries and more willing to accommodate her (i.e. you agreeing to go grocery shopping after she blew up your phone like a crazy person).  The vibe you need to have is to be STRONG, confident, and “absolutely won’t take ANY kind of nonsense bullsh*t from anyone” attitude. Immediately stop putting out this “weak” passive accommodating vibe, that’s only going to make it worse for you.  Also, even though you’re alone in that apt you need to look at how your behavior and neediness for new friends is attracting these people, and how even when they show they’re nuts, you continue to interact with them.  I’m not trying to blame you or be critical, but your situation really could get out of control and you need to get your head screwed back on straight and nip this in the bud ASAP.

If you need help channeling the inner “Xena warrior princess” inside of you then I’d highly recommend watching movies with strong women as heroines and/or Super-nanny or Dog Whisperer (sounds cheesy I know, but both these shows teach people how to be strong, calm assertive energy – which you really need right now).  Good-luck and seriously WATCH YOUR BACK.  It’s No Joke when I say this could potentially turn really ugly and nasty for you if you don’t get on top of it ASAP.

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