Why do I attract these people?! Crazy story…

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 49
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FrenchNewlyWed:  Sure! Let’s call this person I dealt with Meg. Story time!

She is my brothers on again off again girlfriend. They have a daughter, sadly. I wanted us to be friendly because she is the mother of my niece. We have had coffee once, and I dropped by her house for a picture of the baby once. I’d also see her sometimes when I would see my brother. Birthday parties, etc. Now, add to the situation that my brother is also a total jerk in how he manages his relationship. They are a mess.

The problems started when my brother moved out of the province without telling her! She started texting my mom, and me too asking, “How are you? Oh you got a puppy that’s nice your brother moved to fort Saskatchewan and I think I might leave him so I hope you are good and when are you going to come by?” And then moving on to, “MAKE HIM CALL ME WHY WON’T YOU HELP”

Now, it makes total sense that Meg would be upset by this, but my brother sure as hell wouldn’t tell me that he’s just going to take off on his family. But I digress.

The biggest thing I noticed was that she would sort of force intimacy with me. Like, the time I went to her house, she started sobbing in front of me about how she was so unhappy with her looks. Awkward for a new friend. Overly familiar. She would also hint about how much she needed money, and then look at me. I never gave her any though. 

Meg would send text after text about all kinds of things, and call me multiple times a day for a week straight without leaving a message. I’d respond to one, she would send 4 more. When I answered the phone, she would monologue and it was really hard to edge into the conversation to excuse myself. I really didn’t have time for her to complain into my ear for half an hour. I’m busy! Actually busy! Not pretending! So I decided to communicate with them solely through my brother. Not weird, right? HE’S my sibling, not her. And we get on ok, my opinion of his actions aside. 

So she keeps texting and texting, and meanwhile my Fi is getting very annoyed because this is all upsetting me by now. He said that silence was the only way, and I agreed though I was tempted to tell Meg to go to hell instead. I think they were broken up then, which is why she was harassing me.

She called me two or three times a day for a week, then just a couple of times a week, sent some texts asking if I was getting her texts, then she stopped. 

My mom still puts up with all of this because she wants to see the baby. I’m sorry to not see the baby, but I will not be held hostage.

For their most recent breakup (they got back together of course, then had another breakup), she didn’t call or text me! Success!

The End

Post # 51
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FrenchNewlyWed:  Yes! That would grate on me too, that phrasing.

I would also get hassled if I said no to something- for my situation it would be something like bringing food to a party. Can I bring a veggie platter? Sure! You want me to make it from scratch? No! Why? Well, because I said so! Because it’s late, I have to work tomorrow, and the party is directly after work. Why ask me why. JEEZ.

Interesting. Yes, similarities and differences. The bahaviour itself sounds much the same. but the situations are very different. I got angry reading what was happening to you, because I’ve been there too and it was so irritating and frustrating. Good thing you never gave her money! That is a black hole. Way easier to get away if she doesn’t think you’re a meal ticket. 

I wish you the very best of luck. I hope your hubby’s arrival comes quickly, and she misses you every time you sneak past their apartment. Hugs.

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