(Closed) Why do I feel unloved lately when I should be jumping with joy…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i suggest reading the five languages of love because i found that my husband and i talk differently when it comes to expressing and giving love and support – once i understood this i stopped wishing he would do ABC to show that he loves me because he expresses himself differently. i find him super clingy when he wants to show me love and attention, i would prefer he “do” something like a gift or we spend time together but hes the opposite

we both had fun reading the book and doing the small exercises together – laughter is important to us so it was another way to communicate

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ok first of all calm down 🙂

I know what your talking about but you need to understand that not everyone expresses their love in the same way, he may love you 10x more than you love him but it’s just not his style to express it the way you want, you need to accept him the way he is, and he’s the kind of person who doesn’t say I love you every hour.

Try to talk to him not a casual hey I want to tell you this and that, find a proper time when none of you have anything else to do and sit with him, look him in the eye and tell him you have a very important thing to discuss and you can get married with him without you too speaking about this. Make him understand this is important, tell him your concerns and how you feel.

I went through something similar, suddenly feeling unloved and unapreciated, turned out it was depression related and when I look back I realize I was the one making things wring while he only tried to make it better. Consider that maybe your feelings are getting in the way of you seeing his good actions.

Post # 5
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I second the 5 Languages of Love. It definitely sounds as though you two express love differently. If you can understand each other’s needs you’ll be able to communicate love to each other more effectively.

Post # 6
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes to 5 languages of love.

It’s an eye opener to how someone shows their love and while your Fiance might show it one way (perhaps spending time with you) you might show it another way (like doing nice things for him) and thus you expect or want that because that’s your language.

Sometimes I feel like I need reassurance as well – I think a little of that is normal because females are generally more emotion driven and we suffer from more “mood swings”. It’s just how our brain is wired.

Sit him down and just tell him that it’s not that you WANT to be this way but sometimes you might be and that tell him to be patient while you try to always logically sort our why you might feel insecure.  

Post # 7
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree with the 5 love languages book recommendation. It is amazing!

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