Post # 1
Here I am again hive, begging to move on from him. It has been 5 weeks! I so wish everyday got easier but it just seems harder. Yesterday “HE” texted me. He wanted to talk. Of course what do I do? I am all yippy skippy to go talk to him. Realizing that maybe this hope I feel inside will come true. Dont ask me why I do this to myself, I am still trying to figure it out! So like any stupid silly little girl, I leave work early and go see him. Hesitant but so eager. A little cautious even. That was until I saw him. I just stood there. Then he came up to me, grabbed me, hugged me, ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me. HE took my hand and led me to his room to talk. We talked for what seemed like an hour. We both cried. He told me he was scared. He told me he wanted a life with me. He asked me to be his girl. I of course said yes. I have missed him. I wanted him. I love him. He cried, he kissed me. He promised he would never leave me and that we could get through anything. I believed him. One thing led to another and before I knew it, something was happenining under the sheets.
I felt so empty afterwards. All I could do was cry. I had this deep feeling that he would change his mind, regret the things that he just told me. And while it was fun, something felt different. I ended up leaving, crying myself all the way home. I texted him this morning, asking if this was how it was going to be now, being with each other but not talking to each other. He said when he is with me, all the emotions come out. That he wants to be with me. That he is weak when I am near. But as soon as I am gone, his emotions go away and he is back to thinking realistically. He said I pressured him into saying those things yesterday because I was crying and he didnt want to see me upset.
I feel so used. He said he wasnt intending to say those things to me. Or to make love to me. It just sorta happened. Today he said he wanted to be alone. He did not want to be in a relationship. He couldnt give me an answer as to why. He said it was easier. He said all these things while crying to me. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but he also wants to be alone. I feel so stupid! So betrayed! I begged him to be with me. How could I beg him!
I want to be over him! I want to delete him out of my life. Out of my heart! Out of my thoughts! I pray to God to help me, and all I keep doing is grabbing the situation back. How can God help me when I do that?!? I pray God have mercy on me, and help me. I want to stop thinking about him and loving him and missing him. I just dont know how. If I could just magically turn it off, I would.
Post # 3
Girlfriend you need to change your number and your email address. Stop having any communication with him. He’s a user and a manipultor.
Post # 4
you need to stop communicating with him – no matter what it takes (change your number or have his blocked). You also need to tell him to NEVER contact you again. Only once I had done that was I truly free from ex and able to move on. Stop torturing yourself. You shouldn’t be leaving work early to go see ANY man – especially not your ex!
Post # 5
@mamadingdong: +1 he’s a master manipulator who can’t commit and is addicted to the chase. The second you are not available to him, he comes running back begging for you, once you give in to him, he doesn’t want you anymore. THis is not LOVE it’s emotional ABUSE!
Post # 6
He is absolutely full of shit. Cut all communication with this guy and take care of yourself.
Post # 7
@Miss Pez: Please delete his number, email address, de-friend him on all social media sites. It will be hard but I promise time will heal your wounds and it will get easier.
Post # 8
@Miss Pez: *HUGS* You need to cut off communication completely. Love yourself, you deserve it. If you need to beg a man to be with you, then he’s not worth it because he’s not smart enough to realize what he has.
Post # 9
Delete him from your phone so you aren’t tempted to call. Block him from FB if he’s on there you just HAVE to take the necessary steps if you MEAN what you say. You say you need God’s help but the tools have already been given to you but it’s up to YOU to use them. be strong!
Post # 10
@Miss Pez: This was me a few years ago.
Read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” – it helped me to realize that I needed to STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM. I know they made a movie about it which I think is quite different. Read the book. Seriously.
You need to cut off all contact.
And yes, it does get easier, and yes I can totally relate to that empty, used feeling.
Logically I think you know that you don’t want to be with a wishy washy guy like this. You want to be with a man who loves you and treats you right.
I let my last mess of a relationship continue for FIVE years. Thank God I finally got out. You can too.
Post # 11
@Miss Pez: It’ll be the hardest thing you’ll do to make the decision to erase any way of communicating with him and vice versa. However, once you do it, I promise you WILL feel so much better. I’ve been through this and it was just so unspeakably hard to let go and cut all ties. Once I did, though, it was like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was ready to heal.
Post # 12
@canarydiamond: +1 love that book it totally helped me (and therapy) get out of my shitty cat-n-mouse game I called a relationship!
Post # 13
When I first read this, I had in mind a very young guy that just doesn’t have a clue. Then I read through some of your older posts and realized that this guy is almost 40 with kids!!! Now that I know that… RUN and RUN FAST! He is no good for you. A guy at that age with all that under his belt should know better by now. He’s treating you like dirt and you don’t deserve it! It’s hard, I know, trust me, been there, but you CAN get away and move on with your life, you just have to decide to do so and then do it. Keep your chin up girl and BLOCK him out of your life!
Post # 14
@PonytailKim: +1 omg yes. The day I told him to never F-ing contact me again (and I blocked him from everything) was like a huge release. A weight had been lifted. But, not lie my head came out of the fog. It sounds outrageous, but I could see in color again. Literally, the sky was a brighter shade of blue than it had been during the relationship and just colors were more vibrant – literally. It was hard but so amazing and so worth it!
OP – you can’t go on liek this forever. It’s not healthy. It won’t stop until you make it stop. Take control of your happiness and well being by cutting the contact. You are the only person in charge of your happiness. Only you can make the decisions that need to be made to get you through this. Love and value yourself more and treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. It will be the most amazing feeling in the world once you do that – I promise.
And, once you give up the contact, you will heal and move on so much faster than you think you will. I dragged myself through the torture you’re dragging yourself through for MONTHS after we broke up. It took me a matter of weeks to forget about him and be happy again once I cut the contact and deleted him from my life.
Post # 15
Thank you to everyone! The comments and encouragement really do help!
I know I need to delete him. And I have from evrything but Facebook. I know I need to. It is so hard to just let go. I need help. Not therapy help. I need to help myself. It would be somuch easier if we didnt work at the same place. I see his paperwork everyday. I work in payroll. If our friends were not the same friends. I need to move on. I want to move on. It is just so hard. My thoughts are of him. My heart is full for him. But I dont want it to be. I dont know how to move on.
Post # 16
@Miss Pez: oh hunny, I can feel your pain through this computer screen. He has allthe control and power tight now. Continue to pray becuase it is the only thing that will heal your heart. Do not allow him back ion he has proved that he is not worthy! stay strong we are here for you. Next time he text or calls you post here instead of replying!