Post # 1
SHORT VERSION: I cry. It upsets Darling Husband and I want to make it up to him… what can I do?
I’m like this every now and then… I’ll get upset about something stupid, cry infront of Darling Husband and then feel instantly bad about it and cry even more! Then for the next two days I’ll feel guilty about what I did.
Maybe in reading that you don’t get the extent to how bad I feel about it but believe me… I always feel terrible. And I always have to explain to Darling Husband that its not his fault at all because it never is. I can not remember a time that I cried because of something he did. I’m just super emotional sometimes and I wish so hard it’s something I could control more. I’m even crying right now in light of what happened yesterday.
Darling Husband was talking about something and I kind of flipped out. I didn’t mean anything by it, I was trying to get a point across. He apparently noticed that I was quiet after and took that as me being upset. I then noticed that he was acting strange and thought I must have hurt his feelings, which actually did make me upset. I got pretty teary about it and tried to hide it from him but eventually I broke down while we were trying to enjoy a fun ride on an atv, something we haven’t been able to do in a long time. I feel like I ruined it! We talked about it and agreed that it was no one’s fault (even though I know it was mine). When he sees me upset or crying he gets really sad and just wants me to feel better, like I’m sure many SOs are. But yesterday I could have sworn I saw him wipe a tear and I’ve never ever seen him cry.
So now I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s driving me crazy. I think he’s forgotten all about it but I feel like I should do something to make it up to him. Any ideas? Is PMS an excuse? lol Please tell me I’m not the only one like this.
Wow, that was long.
Post # 3
Anyone able to touch on this?
Post # 4
I think all women do this sometimes. It’s natural…it’s normal…it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just explain to your Darling Husband that you do this sometimes. You shouldn’t have to hide your emotions. Let your ugly cry flag fly. I know I do and my Darling Husband just hugs me until I calm down.
Post # 5
I can definitely relate. Darling Husband and I have established a rule where if I tell him I need a minute, he understands that I’m PMSing and that whatever terrible scowl I have on my face is in no way because of him. Sometimes you just need a minute to process things!
In terms of making it better, I would just do something nice for him and then discuss how to prevent it from happening again. It’s just a part of learning how to be together :).
Post # 6
You can’t pin it to anything emotion that is deep seeded in your mind or heart at all? You just cry for no reason? Even when it isn’t that time of the month?
I suppose before you flip out you could leave the room and cry it out for a little bit somewhere else. Your Darling Husband needs to be there for you emotionally so you shouldn’t have to “make it up to him” unless you really did something to hurt his feelings in which case maybe a homemade sentiment or something.
If he has veen forgotten about the day that you flipped out and cried I would leave it alone though. Let it be a done issue. I use to apologize to my Darling Husband when we were dating days after he didn’t care anymore and it didn’t help anything. It would either make him more upset or he’d just brush it off, making me hurt more, but it was my fault for bringing up past feelings. Once I quit, I felt better.
Post # 7
Lots of us ladies cry, it’s no big deal. I know for myself, I cry because it makes me feel better in the end. Darling Husband kinda gets it now.
Post # 8
@Mrs. Mustang: How often does this happen? I sometimes cry like this too and then feel a bit guilty, but I think as long as it’s not something that happens every few days, it’s probably quite normal.
You need to stop beating yourself up over it. I cry really easily too.
I think you need to work on overanalyzing situations less, though. It’s something I struggle with as well, but really what’s the point of thinking of an upsetting scenario over and over again? It isn’t doing anything to fix it.
I find I cry more easily when I’m tired or stressed. I try to get more sleep and do things to reduce stress and it seems to help a bit.
Post # 9
Give yourseld a moment– establish a phrase word so he knows its really not about him. We created “EOM” emotional overload moment. Usually when Im watching a Hallmark movie;) or something makes me really verklempt.
Also – there is a phsiological thing you can do. If you are right handed- open and close your left hand- make a fist and open close. Something about redirecting the emotional part of your brain to a physical activity. Not sure if it works for lefties in reverse- it might. I learned the trick to combat tears in the workplace. No one notices your hands and you can get under control
But with your honey- you could always say “just cuddle me and let me cry it out”
Post # 10
@OctBride-2012: + a million
I’m a crier. I’m very emotional, empathetic, and tear up very easily–it’s genetic. My ex constantly made me feel guilty about it, saying that it made “legitimate” crying mean less. My Fiance doesn’t care. I think you’re really overanalyzing this, and you and your husband both need to get over it.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for all your advice and sympathies… its really reassuring to hear that almost everyone does it.
@megz06: Usually I can pin it on something. I just find I’m so emotional sometimes, usually around that time of the month. Thanks for the advice, I’m probably not going to bring it up again but in the future I’ll be able to judge my next step better.
@canarydiamond: I wouldn’t say it’s often. Maybe once every two months. I cry by myself sometimes and I get pretty teary over songs on the radio or shows on TV but Darling Husband doesn’t know about those times. He only sees it maybe 5-6 times a year. You’re right, thinking about it isn’t going to stop it. The only thing that’s good about it is the learning experience I get every time it happens.
@retreadbride: Thanks! I bet that will really help. He’ll appreciate that.