(Closed) Why do I have to be such an emotional jerk?

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think all women do this sometimes.  It’s natural…it’s normal…it’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Just explain to your Darling Husband that you do this sometimes.  You shouldn’t have to hide your emotions.  Let your ugly cry flag fly.  I know I do and my Darling Husband just hugs me until I calm down.

Post # 5
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can definitely relate. Darling Husband and I have established a rule where if I tell him I need a minute, he understands that I’m PMSing and that whatever terrible scowl I have on my face is in no way because of him. Sometimes you just need a minute to process things! 

In terms of making it better, I would just do something nice for him and then discuss how to prevent it from happening again. It’s just a part of learning how to be together :).

Post # 6
Member
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You can’t pin it to anything emotion that is deep seeded in your mind or heart at all? You just cry for no reason? Even when it isn’t that time of the month?

I suppose before you flip out you could leave the room and cry it out for a little bit somewhere else. Your Darling Husband needs to be there for you emotionally so you shouldn’t have to “make it up to him” unless you really did something to hurt his feelings in which case maybe a homemade sentiment or something.

If he has veen forgotten about the day that you flipped out and cried I would leave it alone though. Let it be a done issue. I use to apologize to my Darling Husband when we were dating days after he didn’t care anymore and it didn’t help anything. It would either make him more upset or he’d just brush it off, making me hurt more, but it was my fault for bringing up past feelings. Once I quit, I felt better.

Post # 7
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Lots of us ladies cry, it’s no big deal. I know for myself, I cry because it makes me feel better in the end. Darling Husband kinda gets it now.

 

Post # 8
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Mrs. Mustang:  How often does this happen? I sometimes cry like this too and then feel a bit guilty, but I think as long as it’s not something that happens every few days, it’s probably quite normal.

You need to stop beating yourself up over it. I cry really easily too.

I think you need to work on overanalyzing situations less, though. It’s something I struggle with as well, but really what’s the point of thinking of an upsetting scenario over and over again? It isn’t doing anything to fix it.

I find I cry more easily when I’m tired or stressed. I try to get more sleep and do things to reduce stress and it seems to help a bit.

 

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Give yourseld a moment– establish a phrase word so he knows its really not about him.  We created “EOM”  emotional overload moment.  Usually when Im watching a Hallmark movie;) or something makes me really verklempt. 

Also – there is a phsiological thing you can do.  If you are right handed- open and close your left hand- make a fist and open close.  Something about redirecting the emotional part of your brain to a physical activity.  Not sure if it works for lefties in reverse- it might.  I learned the trick to combat tears in the workplace.  No one notices your hands and you can get under control

But with your honey- you could always say “just cuddle me and let me cry it out”

Post # 10
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@OctBride-2012:  + a million

I’m a crier. I’m very emotional, empathetic, and tear up very easily–it’s genetic. My ex constantly made me feel guilty about it, saying that it made “legitimate” crying mean less. My Fiance doesn’t care. I think you’re really overanalyzing this, and you and your husband both need to get over it. 

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