- 4 years ago
Kind of a personal topic, but I have a really low sex drive. I never crave sex. I love cuddles and kisses and hugs, but just not actual sex. I would estimate that I only ever feel “horny” once or twice a month.
This is causing tension with my fiance, who has always had a very high sex drive. He wants for sex 2 times a day, but understands that this is not always realistic so as a couple we aim for sex about once a day. This sounds horrible to say, but I never enjoy it. I orgasm often, but still I never enjoy sex. or rarely at least. I know what crazy amazing hot and steamy sex is like with my fiance, but it only really happens about once a month.
I don’t think it is anything he is doing wrong because as I said it is not like we NEVER have good sex. I am not exaggerating when I say that my fiance is the most attractive man in the world to me either. Heck, the man gets hit on all day every day by women. I feel like I must be crazy!
I just don’t get into sex. Or rather, I have a short sexual attention span, where I will be into it for the first 5 minutes, but then check out. In addition I don’t crave sexual attention from anyone else. I don’t feel “unfullfilled” because there is nothing to fill!
I have talked and talked about it with my fiance and we don’t know what to do. He ends up feeling insecure about himself, is scared I’ll feel the need to go elsewhere for sex down the road and so on and so forth. I own several vibrators in an attempt to try to spark something within myself that way, but even that feels like a waste of energy and I lose interest. I know all of my “buttons to push” if you will, I just never feel like pushing them.
As far as my past goes, I have never been a victim of any sort of sexual trauma but my father disowned me when I was 18. Could this possibly have to do with things?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I appreciate anyone who made it through this long post.