Why do men make women wait for a proposal for so long?

posted 1 year ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
2799 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Certainly not all men think or feel this way. Darling Husband proposed to me when we were 23 years old and he was still a student, my e-ring was under $400. We got married at 24, now still have tons of student debt, who knows when we will ever afford a house. For us it was never about money. I think some men use this as a stalling tactic when they are dragging their feet. 

Post # 3
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee

Well this is an over generalisation if ever I heard one. 

Post # 4
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee

littlebuzz :  I wouldn’t call it a complete generalization if you’re only going off of the sample population in the Waiting boards…it could lead to some untrue assumptions because the women who aren’t made to wait aren’t really as vocal about their engagement process. 

Post # 5
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

This does not apply to all men. I do believe that for some men this reasoning can be a stalling tactic when they feel they are being pressured to propose. 

Post # 6
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

manderr :  Because once he proposes next comes a wedding and they are not cheap, so having your life and finances in order before proposing makes sense? 

Post # 8
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee

manderr :  have you brought it up with him lately? If so, what’d the conversation end on? If not, why?

Post # 10
Member
2908 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I’m sorry but I think the more salient question is: why do women allow it…

Generally speaking,  talk is cheap,  listen to what someone says but more importantly,  watch what they actually *do* (or don’t do!) I would not be content nor continue in the role of defacto wife for years… however many women do just that!  Sometimes it works out; their partner finally becomes willing to marry them, but … often it ends up that they wasted years and years of their life and have to start over…..

Op, *you* have control of your own life and choices,  not him.  Best wishes. 

Post # 11
Member
4205 posts
Honey bee

mrstodd2bee :  Yes!!

This is not all on the men. Women have demonstrated that they are perfectly fine with buying a house, building a life and having children without the benefit and protection of marriage. So what’s the rush…

Post # 12
Member
985 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

This doesn’t apply to men in general. This only applies to the men who try it on women who allow it.  

You’re actively choosing to stay in an exclusive relationship with a man who refuses to back up his marriage talk with marriage action.  Not every man does that. Not every woman puts up with it.

Post # 13
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

manderr :  Sounds like he is keen but think it’s to soon. He probably likes the idea but he is not ready to propose – the house, being established etc. it’s only collaterals.

Post # 14
Member
3224 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

manderr :  well since you say you’re not generalizing and instead talking specifically about your boyfriend – I think it’s a bit rich to say you’ve been waiting “soooo long” or whatever. A year and a half in your mid 20s is not so long, you’re both young, there’s plenty of time. 

Post # 15
Member
582 posts
Busy bee

This seems silly. PEOPLE hold off when they aren’t ready, or aren’t sure they are with the person they want to commit to in that way. Soemtimes its men, sometimes its women (my husband was ready for marriage YEARS before I was, and that is true of dozens of women I know.) 

There isn’t some hidden mystery to it, and it doesn’t track some mystical gender thing. 

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