(Closed) Why do men propose in the first place?? Grrr

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
3240 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Agreed. Sending your poor friend hugs. At least she found out before the wedding! A lot less messy than divorce.

Post # 3
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Bad news early is good news.  She should write a Dear John letter pronto!

Post # 4
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Men aren’t the only ones who cheat and lie.

Post # 5
Member
3240 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Horseradish:  true dat. Think OP just means why would a man buy a ring and ask THE question, only to fuck around. 

Post # 6
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

So sad! Poor girl! I just heard a story like this from a friend. I agree – WHY?!?! Better to find out now than later… ๐Ÿ™

Post # 7
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think that most men propose because they are in love and they believe that the woman they propose to is the best possible wife for them. Then you have the men who want their cake and eat it, too. They want a wife at home and to live like they are single at the same time. Even in most of these cases, they think that they really love the woman. They just are equally focused, if not more, on their own disgusting desires, and they are not thinking about the risk at the time. It is not until after the dirty deed is done that they have to do damage control and try to hide it. Some of these cake eaters only propose to hold onto the woman. They know she wants it, but they don’t really care to get married. They just want to stop her from leaving and finding a real man. I am sorry about what happened to your friend. as bad as it is now, she will be glad that she did not marry this scum later (if she chooses to walk away as she should). Try to be as supportive as you can. She can and will get through this. 

Post # 8
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Happened to one of my best friends – they were together five years, engaged for two, and he was cheating for the last three of those years. With him (and this is sad) he only asked because he went into the jewelry store looking for a present and got talked into an engagement ring by the salesperson (how that happens, I have no clue). I guess he felt like they had been together for long enough and it was the next logical step. I know a few different couples where this happened, and it usually seems to be those that were together for long periods of time.

Certainly doesn’t make it any better though – I will never understand doing something just because you think it’s required… That’s a lot of money to spend! And you never can get back what you paid in the first place…

Post # 11
Member
937 posts
Busy bee

Ugh! Your poor friend. I can’t stand cheating. One of my dear friends was married for a really long time (like 18 years) and her husband cheated on her more than once. He finally got the courage to leave her. But not before he successfully destroyed her. Men like that are complete pigs. I’m sorry for your friend. Nobody deserves that.

Post # 12
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Im with you OP. It makes me SO mad when someone goes into an engagement or marriage already knowing they are or are planning to f*** around with someone else. Why buy a ring, get down on one knee and not mean any of it? Or accept the ring, say yes and not mean any of it? Why do that to someone?!

Post # 14
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry for your friend ๐Ÿ™ It’s a relief she found out before the wedding. And I know it’s cliche, but not every man is a cheating jerk. However, I am as mystified as you as to why cheating guys propose…I guess they really do want to have their cake and eat it too.

Post # 15
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I think a lot of men can compartmentalize better than most women. They can separate in their minds and their lives, a woman they want to share their lives with, from a woman they want to have “fun” with. That is why they propose, they think it is a totally different thing.

Most women aren’t like that. Better to find out before the wedding.

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