(Closed) Why do others make you feel bad?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
9479 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

“Because we are living in a material world.”

Sorry you had to experience that.  Don’t mind others opinions.

Post # 18
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@langel86: 

I have the exact opposite problem, people keep comenting on how big it is…and judge me in a whole different way…its not fair for people to be a-holes and judge you based on the size of your ring…its the meaning behind the ring not the size of it.

Just enjoy what you have…people react like that becasue they have crappy and miserable lives…you should be happy that you were lucky enough to get a diamond.  My best friend and he husband could only afford gold wedding bands and they love them just as much as I love my diamond ring.

As my father would say “Don’t let the bastards get you down!”

Post # 19
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think no matter what you can’t win with people.  If you have a smaller ring it’s “cute”.  If it’s big it’s “gaudy” and you’re considered shallow or a gold digger.  It’s unfortunate that people can’t just respect the ring as a love token that holds its own beauty to each individual.  People that make rude comments like this usually a) don’t have good filters or b) are miserable souls who need to belittle others to feel superior.  Regardless, you’ve chosen a wonderful size, and I’m sure it’s a beautiful ring.

Post # 20
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

Next time someone says your ring is cute or small, say this very politely: “Yes it is, and I’m perfectly fine with it.” 🙂

Post # 21
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I really despise when people do that. I can only think “Who raised them??” It’s just a complete lack of social skills, IMO. My mom would probably pull me aside and maybe slap me (and she’s NOT a hitter) if she heard me say something rude about someone’s ring (and i consider “oh… that’s.. um..cute” to be rude). If you can’t say sometihng nice, don’t say anything at all. That said, Ive had people say mean things about my ring (and it’s NOT small! it’s 1.5 carats so when people say it’s cute or say I can upgrade, I know they’re just jerks and it doesn’t get to me). I try to ignore the meanness, and gush that it’s perfect for me, and I’m so glad that we picked out the setting together – as well as how much I love my partner, and would love a ring from a 25 cent machine if he gave it to me!

 

Post # 22
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

have a look at the threads on here for people who genuinely prefer smaller  rocks/diamonds… maybe you will feel better!

Post # 23
Member
6374 posts
Bee Keeper

Wow, how rude!

Also, slight digression here, but I know that ‘ugrading’ is common in the US, but I just find the idea really strange.

My OH bought me what he could afford; and it is a truly beautiful ring, and I love it to bits, and get loads of compliments. But it didn’t cost the earth, and because of this, I’ve had people, inc my mum, ask if I’m going to ‘upgrade’. Now personally, I find that weird. My engagement ring will always be the ring he proposed with; it’s irreplacable, and unique. No other ring would be the ring he proposed with; so for me, no other ring could ever be my engagement ring. Does that make sense?..

I wish people would keep their opinions to themselves.. I think the rudest thing anyone’s said to me was ‘Woah! There’s a bit much going on there!’..!

Post # 24
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My ring is a peridot.  So a bright, limey colored green.  I adore this ring and love it.  However when I would show people I’d definitely get the big long pause before they said anything.  Which I sorta understand because it’s super untraditional to have a lime green e-ring but it’s still annoying.  Why do people place so much emphasis on large diamond rings?! It’s suppose to be a symbol of our comittment to eachother, not a symbol of how much money we make! 

Post # 25
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You love your ring and you are proud of it. Dont even waste another second thinking about other people and what they think of it! It means so much to you, and that is all that matters. Do not allow others to take away the meaning the ring has to you!

Post # 26
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally agree with you!!  And the thing I hate most about that whole weird social emphasis on rock size is that it puts me through ups and downs, even though I LOVE my ring.  It’s not small by any means and I am still obsessed with how beautiful it is, but when I see those 2, 3, 4 carat diamond rings I start to feel insecure which is completely ridiculous!  And it’s all because I let myself wonder “oh do they think it’s big or small..” and all that BS.  Even though it’s completely silly, what is wrong with our world?!  

Anywho, back to you 🙂  I can’t believe people that ask about the size, or comment on upgrading.  SO TACKY!!  I’m so sorry people say that to you!  If it were me I would say kindly but firmly (to almost throw it back on them so they may rethink ever making such a comment), “Oh I would never dream of changing it, I want to always look down and see THIS ring and feel the butterflies of THAT night he proposed.  It’s beautiful in every way and it’s mine!”

Good luck!

Post # 27
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Rudeness isn’t just reserved for smaller diamonds, people are just rude in general. I also think sometimes people just don’t know the appropriate response when it comes to thinks like an e-ring. Don’t let it get to you and your happiness. Stay up there on cloud nine. 🙂

My ring has been called cute many times despite being considered larger and yes I too have been offered an upgrade by our jeweler. I take it all with a grain of salt.

Post # 28
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ignore them and enjoy your engagement. I refused a ring. Have never worn one and I’m not even sure I’ll wear the wedding ring.

I asked for anything else apart from an engagement ring and got earrings which I love. I have them on all the time and have never taken them off. Everybody asks if I’m getting married without being engaged and I always reply, “does it matter?” That soon shuts them up!

Post # 29
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

People are ridiculous and like to snark, that’s about the extent of it.  As other posters mentioned, people would have complained just as much if you had a huge ring on your hand. Look at how people judge celebrity rings, when in reality it has no impact on them – if they weren’t spending the money on jewelry for someone they love, they’d probably be spending it on something else incredibly expensive, so who really gives a flying kite. It’s too bad society has come to this, so just try your hardest not to let it get to you.  I often think when peoples grass isn’t green on their side of the bridge,in order to feel better about their self, they decide they need to piss (excuse the language) on other peoples grass to turn it brown too, when instead they should just focus on just watering their own and be happy for their neighbor. Hope the comments soon stop, but until then try to just take them as a grain of salt, nothing more.   

Post # 31
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hear ya!  I have a sapphire that’s equivalent to about a 3/8 or 1/2 carat. Luckily smaller stones are more common where I’m from.

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