Post # 1
what should be done if my husband doesnt acknowledge and appreciate any good thing done by me, but he retaliates, and get annoyed when I make mistakes… is it not unfair? When one can tell you when you are wrong why cannot he tell you and appreciate when you do something good?
People out there………. kindly suggest…..
Post # 3
One of two reasons:
1. He doesnt care
2. He doesnt know how youre feeling.
My dad does this all the time, and ive told him how it makes me feel, and he still does it, so with him its #1. Im hoping with your hubby its #2
Post # 4
Thanks TheSpoons….. to share ur experience with the problem…I will try to tell him how I feel…
Post # 5
I am actually guilty of being the one to do this in our marriage. I have gotten a lot better about it, though, since we have had a couple of heart to hearts about it and I now know how he feels!
Post # 6
I’m studying to be a teacher, and this is a very important concept to keep in mind when it comes to dealing with students… it’s very easy to notice and criticize negative behavior, but it’s just as important (if not moreso) to reinforce positive behavior.
I think you should tell your husband how you feel, but I also think you should make sure you are practicing what you preach. Compliment or thank him whenever he does something nice and hopefully he will get the idea and return the favor.
Post # 7
Your poll is not really a fair one. Of course it isn’t fair if they do not acknowledge these things. However, I am lucky and my Fiance does acknowledge what I do for him. I don’t think I’ve ever cooked a dinner that he didn’t say thank you for.
I didn’t answer your poll, and I feel like we may not have enough information to make a call on what is fair or not in your personal relationship…
I hope things get better for you, maybe you should talk to him and tell him how you are feeling.
Post # 8
@missrain: Its ok…….. sometimes its better late than never….. I liked this trait of yours that u atleast admitted that you have done something wrong and realize that u should overcome this………. and also you can realize how the person recieving this behavior from you feels like……..
Post # 9
I’m sorry! I noticed this happening both ways in our relationship and decided to be the one to change. I started be really sweet and appreciative for even the tiniest things (like taking out the trash). It took a little bit, but he caught on and is now the same way.
Have you tried modeling the way you want your relationship to be?
Post # 10
The words that popped out to me from your post were “he retaliates, gets annoyed when I made mistakes”. I never did anything right in my first marriage of thirty years. I never heard a compliment, positive word, thanks, etc. If I burned dinner or some such travesty, I heard about it. No it’s not fair.
I would definitely have a talk with your husband soon. Don’t let your legitimate feelings remain unspoken. If this is a pattern of behavior, knowingly or not, it needs to change. If not it can become very demoralizing over time. Perhaps I have strong feelings about this due to my history.
For me, I’m in a marriage now where I am appreciated and complimented. Honestly took awhile to realize I was worthy.
Have a talk. It’s easier to fix a new issue sooner rather than later. Hugs.
Post # 13
Maybe talk to him about it, when you are calm and both in a good mood, and away from distractions. Tell him how it makes you feel when you do things and he doesn’t appreciate it. Then start complimenting him when he does things (to kind of teach him how to do it, and when to say these things). Hopefully he’ll get the drift. It does suck though, to feel underappreciated.