- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
I never thought I’d find myself in that position, but yes I have been cheated on, and have cheated on an ex. I had always been of the mind that if it was done once, it would be done again, until I found myself in that situation. Then I realized I had no right to judge anyone else’s circumstances involving that. Each individual person has their reasons for being unfaithful, whether its good or bad reasons. I finally had to re-train myself to stop assuming that everyone that ever cheated would always do it again. And to answer the questions:
Have you cheated?
I did, on my ex. I was not proud of that fact, but it did happen, despite me having the mantra that ‘once a cheater, always a cheater.’
Why did you cheat?
I was in an abusive marriage, with a husband that I had long lost any positive feelings for. I had left him twice, only to go back because I didn’t have any other means of supporting myself at the time. His behavior towards me was belittling/demeaning, rude, condescending, angry, accusatory, controlling, etc.
Have you done it more than once?
Did you feel guilty? If so when, was it during the act of cheating or after?
Part of me felt guilty, as I was doing the one thing I swore I’d never do. Having been cheated on myself, it was a pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. The major part of me did not feel as guilty as I thought I would have.
Did you tell your SO (did you tell them the whole truth or part of it?) or did they find out another way?
Neither, he may suspect, but we’re divorced now so it doesn’t matter anymore. He and I both have moved on.
Would you do it again?
I’d like to think I wouldn’t. If it came down to it, I’d rather just break up with a person before doing something like that.
Did your SO forgive you?
He didn’t know either way.