(Closed) Why do people exclude kids from weddings?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 31
Hostess
10225 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Kids ruin everything? lol

Post # 32
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I have two small children (4 and 6) and at first I was set on having a family friendly wedding. After all, we are having an afternoon wedding on Sunday, vs. a crazy party on Saturday. BUT there are some specific children that I do NOT want to come (and that would, if children were all invited). So, we are still up in the air about it.

We can only have 200 occupants in the building and apparently they are strict on that rule, so that means about 195 guests (including us and the wedding party). If we have room, we may allow some, but we can’t allow all or it’d be like 30+ children.

Post # 33
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

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craigslistgirl:  Parents who actually pay attention to their kids (keeping them occupied so they do not cry or whatever else) are so busy doing this they are not able to take in what is actually going on. A few parents not making sure their child is behaved or taking out their crying baby during the ceremony. Late nights. Children underfoot. Worrying about having extra activities or whatever else for the kids. Being around open bars. Really late nights. And some people (*gasp*) just do not like children. I think that if you want to have children at your wedding that is awesome, but there is nothing wrong with not wanting children at someone else’s wedding. Also, please note that I used gross exaggerations and all my examples do not apply to everyone across the board. It has just been my experience with kids. It’s really not my place to judge what someone else decides to do re kids at weddings, as it is their wedding.

Post # 34
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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JiminyCricket:  I like that you were willing to make the exception when needed. I think the circumstances should be taken into consideration. If it were between someone not being able to come at all or allowing a child to attend, I think I would allow it although I would prefer a (mostly) child-free wedding so people could relax and not stress.

Post # 35
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Personally, I love kids, and we’re going to have tons of them at our wedding. But some people want kid-free weddings because it would bother them if a baby started screaming in the middle of their ceremony, or if a bunch of kids took over the dance floor. Some people feel that having kids running around would make the event less elegant, and still others are trying to fit into a certain capacity limit at the venue or a strict budget, and cutting out kids is an easy way to cut the guest list in a way that doesn’t seem like a personal slight on someone. Some apparently even come from family and social circles where it’s customary not to include kids in weddings, so it never occurred to them to include kids in theirs.

For me, weddings have always been family events, and I have fond memories of dancing with my sister and my cousin at a family wedding when I was 9.  There are a lot of kids I’m close to (I’m a teacher, and I have little cousins) who I don’t want to exclude, and since we’re a little older and most of our friends have kids, we don’t want to run the risk of excluding our friends by excluding their kids. For us, it was a no-brainer to have kids at the wedding. But for others, it’s probably a no-brainer the other way.

Post # 36
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

Because they don’t actually like children?  Because they like children, but want a break from them for this particular event?  Because they felt like it?  Because reasons?  Because no reasons, it was just an arbitrary decision?

I honestly don’t understand why people need to justify their decisions regarding a party that they’re throwing.

Post # 37
Member
5934 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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craigslistgirl:  I’ve been to sooooooooo many weddings where the ceremony is ruined because of screaming kids/babies. You couldn’t even hear the vows at times. I felt badly for those couples. And loads of times the flower girl/ring bearer may look great in their cute little outfits, but they turn into nightmares when trying to get them down the aisle and having them stand quietly at the altar is sometimes a problem. It can just turn all the attention on them. Super annoying.

Post # 38
Member
14 posts
Newbee

For us it was the price. I couldn’t justify spending $50/child for more than a dozen children for chicken fingers and fries or $75/child for the regular meal. 

Post # 39
Member
6515 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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craigslistgirl:  I didn’t have kids at my wedding for 2 reasons, DH has a lot of kids on his side and they are all under 10. The oldest is 8. The youngest is 1. We planned a no kid wedding bc we knew his family would not be offended. We were at a family function and we were asked about the wedding and the topic of kids came up. We said we wouldnt be having kids and they all kinda breathed a sigh of relief. They were hppy to have a night away from the kids bc they can drink, have a good time, and not worry. I think it also helped that our wedding was super local, everyone lives in Brooklyn,NY (we had a handful of people on my side from queens, jersey). So I think they liked if they had to leave it would only be a 10 minute cab ride. Alot of people took cabs bc it was so close to home. The other reason was the venue my wedding was at was going to charge me $65 per kid (half the price of an adult) and i was appalled bc its a kids menu!!  Sliders, chicken fingers and fries. Sorry but I am not paying $65 for a meal they can get at McDonalds or Burger king for $5! Even if the price wasn’t an issue, I would have still had no kids bc I wanted everyone to be able to really enjoy themselves without having to worry about running after your kid.

 

Post # 40
Member
6515 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wanted to add that the Flower girl and Ring bearer were the only kids at my wedding but they are very well behaved and fell asleep during the reception lol

Post # 41
Member
4889 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

At one of the first weddings I attended as an “adult” (late teens), a baby cried during the vows, and I didn’t hear a word of them. (I have no idea why some adults can’t take responsibility for their children – if the baby cries, take them outside!)

I decided not to have children under 5 at my ceremony for that reason. I have always loved kids, but my wedding was not the place for them. We ended up only have 2 kids (and their mothers respected our wishes about the ceremony) and one was a tiny baby that couldn’t run around at the wedding. 

Kids at weddings are cute…until they scream during the vows, run onto the dance floor during the first dance, or disrupt other moments very special to the bride and groom.

Post # 42
Member
717 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

+1000000000 to all the PPs responses on why to not have kids at weddings.

In sum, they’re awful wedding guests. 

Post # 43
Member
611 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t read through every one of the previous posts, but the ones I did I agree with exactly. We are having an evening garden wedding of around 100 with a sit down dinner at a restaurant w/ a cocktail atmosphere. We are not inviting children. Most of the people we have told were just fine with it and were excited they will get a night off. Some of them (maybe 2 couples) won’t come because they refuse to leave their child with a babysitter. I think that is absolutely ridiculous.

My Fiance has cousins that are in JH that were not originally invited because they are the only family under 21, they live accross the country, and we didn’t think any of them would actually come anyway. I also don’t think it’s fair, because we have asked other guests to not bring their children, no matter the age, and here are these 3 or 4 kids sitting here dancing and sneaking alcohol. But Future Mother-In-Law insisted. I guess I see why..but still annoying.

Regardless it will be nice not to have crying babies/talking children at the ceremony (which almost every ceremony i’ve been to has) and kids meals and little kids running at your feet all night. Adults won’t have to focus their attention on making sure their kids are calm and happy, and instead have a good time!

Post # 44
Member
3206 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I have two nieces, and while I love them, I don’t care for them to be at my wedding. I don’t really like kids or connect with them like people who “LOVE” kids do, and the atmosphere of a formal event just isn’t appropriate for children. If others are having more casual weddings, I can see why it would be more like a family reunion, and kids would be welcome. 

Post # 45
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had our nieces and nephews only, so six under 16.  We included 3 of them in our wedding party, plus 3 of their parents, and one was a nursing infant who couldn’t be away from SIL for too long yet (I think he was about 5 months at the time).  So when you broke it down, there were 2 10 year old boys who weren’t in the wedding or literal babies who came, and they were with their cousins. 

We had a Saturday evening, open bar wedding. We spent a lot of time and money making it really nice and fun for the grown ups we invited.  We didn’t want a bunch of little kids we hardly know running around, and any kid we would’ve invited would’ve been like a cousin’s kid or a friend’s kid who we really hadn’t spent a lot of time with (unlike our nieces and nephews, who we see all the time).  Plus we had to cut our original invite list of 400 down to 200 to make it fit and be affordable, and we didn’t want to waste spaces on bored 8 year olds we hardly knew.

I’ve seen kids be really cute at weddings. I’ve also seen them be ungodly, unholy little terrors.  We were not willing to risk the latter with kids we didn’t know well.

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