(Closed) Why do people keep asking ME about my bridal shower?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My cousin/MOH is planning my bachelorette party, but she used my suggestion/wish for the location and asked me for the list of invitees.

 

My cousin/MOH and mom are working together for my shower, and they are both askign me WAY too many details about what I want for this party.  I know they only want me to enjoy myself, but I keep telling them that I’ll be happy to just be there and that I don’t have particular requests.  It’s frustrating because it’s just adding another level of details to take care of to my already fully-loaded plate, but at the same time I’m going to have one hell of an awesome bridal shower 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

To be honest I had a lot to do with my bridal shower because of my work schedule and because of how complicated our families are. So I did have a lot of say in when and wehre the shower was held. My bridal party did all of the detail planning like games and food.

Post # 5
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Pinksapphire:   Do you have a very close friend, or a Maid/Matron of Honor you could pull aside and just be honest – that you’d really love to have a shower and it doesn’t have to be fancy or full of gifts, and let her take it from there?

Post # 5
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Pinksapphire:   Do you have a very close friend, or a Maid/Matron of Honor you could pull aside and just be honest – that you’d really love to have a shower and it doesn’t have to be fancy or full of gifts, and let her take it from there?

Post # 6
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am experiencing the same exact thing – I really don’t think it’s right to plan a party on your behalf.   I did complicate things for people because I’m not having a wedding party, so there is no real good candidate for these things.

For my bachelorette, I basically just asked one of my friends if she would organize.  I had to give her a date and list of email addresses. 

My shower is still a work in progress – but I’m basically calling it my sisters shower because she invited mostly her own friends that I don’t even know.  

Good luck, I get so easily annoyed when people ask me these questions.  Like we need more pressure!

Post # 6
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012
Post # 8
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

@Pinksapphire:  I am going through the exact same thing!  I have one particular friend who keeps asking where, when, what’s the theme going to be, etc?  She keeps saying that I should be telling the bridal party what I want….I told her that my bridal party knows me well enough to throw me a simple shower.  Ugh!!!!!  

Post # 9
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I feel ya!!! It’s quite annoying. My sister was soposed to host my bridal shower until she moved about 2 hours away from me so I knew it was going to be a little hard for her to host and put it together from there. So I waited & waited but she never talked to me about her NOT hosting it so I assumed it was still a go. Our wedding date is April 7 so it’s getting pretty close & she still didn’t mention anything to me. So I comfronted her & just asked her flat out… “Are you still going to host my bridal shower?”.. Basically.. She said No!!.. Needless to say I started to freak out, b/c like you mentioned I’m not going to ask someone to host MY shower for ME! I think that it’s ridiculous! I didn’t want my mom to have to host it either.. just b/c I want her to enjoy herself also. Anyways… Long story short. My “2nd mom” is finiancing it & her daughter (my close friend) is hosting it which works for me… Idc at this point. 

I was thinking the same exact thing.. I don’t want to have to put together MY OWN bridal shower along with ALL the wedding planning that I’m doing BY MYSELF!! 

lol.. I think I used your post to vent a little too. Sorry Embarassed

Post # 10
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Hi there! First, I know there are sooo many stressful parts about planning a wedding, but I do hope you are finding ways to enjoy every step of the journey. After all, you only get one wedding extravaganza to plan (hopefully!), and you want your memories to be good ones, not ones that are filled with stress and anger and such.

Now, I don’t like the word bridezilla, but I will say that I do feel as if you are over reacting. Many people don’t know what the expectations are of being, say a Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor, for starters. Plus, your friends may be under the assumption that you are planning your own shower if you are a “take charge” kind of bride. I suggest clear and open communication with your bridal party and friends. Tell them what you want! They aren’t mind readers. You will feel much happier and less stressed out if you’d just be honest with them. They will pull through! 😉

Here’s to a wonderful shower!!!

Post # 11
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My sister and cousins (all my BMs, essentially) are planning my shower. When we all got together, they asked me for dates that worked in my schedule, as well as the guest list. Everything else is in their hands. I made it very clear that they can do as little or as much as they feel comfortable, and that I would be happy to enjoy the company of my friends and family regardless of the size of the party!

Post # 12
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

@Pinksapphire:  

 I’m not supposed to have anything to do with the planning of MY shower!  Right?

Yes and no.  You don’t plan it or throw it, but you do have a little input i.e. date, preferences (only if asked!!!!!!), guest list. 

 Are brides planning their own showers now?  

Lord have mercy, I certainly hope not!!!

Is it common for a bride to ask people to throw them a shower?  

No, most people will do this without you having to ask them.

“Who is throwing your shower?” 

Some people will ask this and sometimes if you say no, that is their way of offering to do it for you.  Not that uncommon of a question.

 So she says, “Why don’t you ask ____ to throw it?”  Whaaaaa? 


No….and not just no!! LOL

I’m not going to set a date and tell everyone, “You guys better plan my shower for May 21st!”

My daughter and I set her bridal tea date—only to reserve the church for that date well in advance and we had TEN other bridal teas in the span of a 12 month period in the same area.  It was more of a necessity since the bride works every other Sunday!  

I thought that a group of women who know the bride are supposed to get together and plan things, giving the bride only minimal knowledge of it. 

This is how it should be.

 I should be able to relax and just show up for it. 

You are absolutely correct and your expectation is NOT wrong.  

 

But, how much involvement did you have with your shower?  

My daughter and I gave them a date preference and gave them the guest list.  Other than that, NO input whatsoever.

Did you plan it yourself? 

No

Did you have to ask someone to host it for you? 

No.

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