(Closed) Why do people say it?? Just… why????

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

because we’re older and we obviously know better. Tongue out

Post # 4
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Lol. Because everyone is convinced that they know best. ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t let it bother you so much. Just let them know you are confident in your decision or you wouldn’t be making it, and it’s none of their business what your age is.

Post # 5
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m 19 and got married this past June. I have no idea why people say that…so would they feel better if I got drunk a few times THEN got married? If we’ve found the person we love and want to be with, why waste time just to get a few stranger’s approval? It’s ridiculous!

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh… and what on earth makes them think that I’m going to be missing out on anything just because I can now experience everything with the man I love???

Ask them that, next time somebody tells you you’re too young. I’d be curious to see what the response is ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 7
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think it’s probably just because they cannot imagine being at that stage in their lives when they were your age.  I would never say anything to anyone about their life choices, but I certainly think I was not ready for that kind of commitment in my late teens/early twenties.  It’s more of a commentary on where we were than your decision, if that makes sense.

Post # 8
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s because maybe they weren’t ready to get married in their early to mid twenties.  Which is fine, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t or you’re going to miss out on anything.  I think it’s odd to make a judgement call about you without knowing you or your Fiance.  I’m 22 and my Fiance is 21 and neither one of us have gotten comments about being young probably just because neither one of us does those things we might miss out on.  For the most part we’ve already done them and don’t care to anymore.  I don’t understand why people say you need to travel the world by yourself.  FI and I plan to go to Thailand a year after we get married.  I would’ve never chose to go there if it weren’t for FH.  I also understand about it easing finances.  Since my Fiance and I have moved in together it’s been a lot easier to get by.  So yeah I don’t really get it either, but I feel ya on that one.

Post # 9
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i dont think i could experience much more without getting in trouble haha. those days are behind me.

Post # 10
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

 People are ready for different things at different times in their lives. I was engaged at 19 and married at 21. I will have 2 kids by the time I am 22. I know alot of people who don’t know me would think that I’m crazy but the people who do know me, know that I am very ready for this at this point in my life. Every life is different. Not everyones life runs on the same timeline.

 Just remember that the reason your getting married now is because you just couldn’t imagine waiting any longer. Just like for those who wait to get married couldn’t of imagined doing it any sooner.

Post # 11
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think a couple of bees nailed it when they said us older gals knew we weren’t ready to get married that young..and realize that now that we’re older.  So, I guess that’s one thing we have that you dont…hindsight.  We can look back and say we weren’t ready at that age…you can’t because you aren’t our age yet. Does that make sense? 

With that said, I think it’s different for everyone.  I was EXTREMELY independent at 18.  Put myself through college, worked a crapload to support myself in college, graduated early, and landed a career right out of college.  I wanted to make sure I could support/depend on myself before I let anyone into my life.  My sister, unlike me, chose to get married very early.  And you know what?  We’re both extremely happy with our choices.  While I knew I’d be miserable to settle down so young, my sister knew she’d be miserable if she waited forever like me to get married. lol My parents were married at 18 & 19 and are still happy after 33 years. 

I would try not to get bent out of shape.  Every one is entitled to their opinion.  Just try to grin and bear it and prove to them that you are ready to get married.

Post # 12
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think people who marry early miss out on the social freedom, but not as much the life experiences (for example, i’m traveling through Asia with my husband for 6-7 months this year, so i’m definitely not missing out on seeing the world!). However, because i’m married, i’m obviously not free to date around/experience as many random social opportunities that could be rich and valuable. Also, people who marry younger tend to have children younger, which definitely ties you down. I’m 27, and traveled the world, moved cross country, did grad school, etc all before I met my now husband. We want to continue the adventure, and the learning together, and are waiting to have kids to make sure that happens.

Post # 13
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree that it’s different for each person. My parents were married at 19 and it was a good thing for them (they are still married and just celebrated their 36th wedding anniversary!)  I can understand, however, why people might say people in their early 20’s are “too young.”  I am 33 and know how much I grew and changed in my 20’s and I’m sure it’s the same for most of us “older” brides. For me, that time was so valuable to grow into the woman I am now and I know that, by being single, I got to experience a lot of things and explore a lot of interests better than I may have been able to do had I been married and all of those things helped me to clarify both who I wanted to be and the type of man I wanted to be with.  However, if I had met the love of my life at age 21, I may have chosen to get married and that could’ve also been a really great path for me.  Another point to consider is that a lot of men change a lot in their 20’s.  Both my mom and a marriage counselor I knew advised I wait until a man passed the age of 27 before marrying him because men typically change so much in their mid-twenties.  However, each person is different and there are plenty of exceptions to each rule.  If you feel truly ready to get married, who cares what other people think.    I think it’ll be a beautiful thing to experience your 20’s with the man you love! 

Post # 14
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Usually its because the man that you love isn’t the one they want you marrying. They always think something better will come long. That has been my experience anyways…

Post # 15
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This used to drive me insane… but I’ve really just learned to ignore it. Everyone’s gonna have an opinion on everrrything. But if you know what you’re doing is right for you, who is anyone else to tell you different? Their life experiences are different than yours. Just own it and don’t let anyone get to you ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m married at 21 and I’m a perfectly well-rounded, experienced, traveled, educated woman and I plan to continue that adventure… just with my husband at my side instead of alone ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If its older people making the comments (parents or grandparents age) then it could be that marriage used to mean that you would buy a house, have kids and settle down immediately after walking down the aisle. Now, many more couples get married and continue to travel, go to school, etc after marriage so there’s more of a chance that you’ll continue to grow on a personal and private level than if you were getting married young 50 years ago. If the comments are from people your age, its because they can’t see themself being married yet.

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