(Closed) That’s not who I invited! *rant*

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s not impolite to control your guest list.  Just call the offending parties and say “I’m sorry that your spouse/SO can’t attend but we simply do not have the space for your substitute date.  We’d prefer to use that spot to invite family and friends we did not have space for.  So and so will also be attending so you won’t be alone.”  Don’t be angry, upset or rude.  You’re just politely informing them that they may not bring an uninvited guest. 

Be firm, don’t compromise and don’t negotiate with emotional terrorists, i.e. “Well if I can’t bring this random person as my date then I just won’t go.”  If someone says that then your response will be “We’ll be sorry not to have you there but if you choose not to go, that is your decision.”

Post # 4
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee

Personally I don’t think it would be impolite at ALL for you to say something. You have a budget, you have a plan and you invited THIS person only. If someone has ANY sense about them, they will understand. Apologize and tell them you aren’t wanting to be rude or impolite but there’s way you can accomodate X. You shouldn’t have to deal with uninvited guests, let alone on the most (one of the most) important days of your life 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I am going to agree with everyone else; it is your wedding and it is completely reasonable for you to only want people you know and have a connection with you and your Fiance to join you in this special day.  However, when/if you tell the offendors this, be prepared for some hissy fits.

Post # 7
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Whoever is going to a wedding without their husband or wife needs a good smack upside the head.

Make it clear that the invitation is for the couple only, not for one party and a plus one.  End of discussion.

Post # 9
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@NJmeetsBX:  While I understand your frustration, I think that I respectfully disagree. You reserved two spots for that group. I’ve never been to a formal event where it was assumed that I must cede my partner’s space back to the hosts if he isn’t available that night. I can certainly see why it would be nice if they gave you the extra spot (and the money that it entails!) back, but I think you’ve just got to write it off. Saying that there’s “no way that you can accommodate X” is particularly graceless, IMO, since you planned to accommodate the original date. (Of course, this doesn’t apply if they start adding extra people!)

Again, I understand your frustration, but in the scheme of things, I think you’ve got to let it go rather than risk creating a ton of unnecessary drama around your day. Just my two cents for maximum bridal serenity. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@village_skeptic:  I have to agree with you… if you invite 2 people, and one cannot come, I feel like its a little impolite to rescind that invitation. And trust me this is only the first of what will probably be many guest fouls regarding rsvp’s.

Post # 10
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@village_skeptic:  I have to agree with you… if you invite 2 people, and one cannot come, I feel like its a little impolite to rescind that invitation. And trust me this is only the first of what will probably be many guest fouls regarding rsvp’s.

Post # 11
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@village_skeptic:  I get what you’re saying, BUT she clearly invited Mr & Mrs X. Those were the people who were invited. It would be different if the invitation stated Mr. X & Guest

Post # 12
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think that it’s okay to say that on the most important, personal, and intimate day of your life, you’d like to be surrounded by and celebrate with people you know.  To invite someone along that the bride and groom don’t even know in lieu of someone they are friends with seems awkward.  It’s not a “flyer party” like in your freshman year of college, where it’s open invites.

Post # 13
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It is pretty rude to invite other people that they Bride /Groom doesn’t know or want at a wedding unless the inviation said “plus guest”. Maybe you could mention that you don’t think it would be fair to your other friends / family since you already told them no plus ones.

Post # 14
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

double post

Post # 15
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

In fact, I’ve been to TWO weddings where bride told me that they were only letting married or engaged couples bring a date (each other!) and “to be fair they had to stick to that rule.”

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