(Closed) Why do people suck at RSVPing? Do people rsvp last minute often?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
2163 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

Some people forget and you will have to reach out to them.

Others hold onto it until the last minute. So wait a few days past your deadline and they may trickle in. If not, you’ll have to divvy up the list and make some calls!

Post # 3
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Some people are good at RSVPing, some are not.  Some of them are just seeing if they have the time to go to your wedding.  Yeah, it’s frustrating.  I remember this being a really frustrating part of the wedding.  We did online RSVP, and it was a click of a mouse, and people couldn’t even do it.  Our wedding website would send reminders a couple of days before the deadline and remind the people that haven’t RSVP’ed to do so, and they still didn’t.  After the deadline, we texted or called the people that didn’t RSVP to see if they are coming.  Even then some people said they weren’t not sure.  I basically assumed that they weren’t coming, because we had a Destination Wedding, so if you weren’t sure if you were coming a few weeks before it, you’re not coming.  I wouldn’t follow up until after the RSVP deadline though.   Good luck, bee!

Post # 4
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

My advice is to chill until after the deadline, while some people respond right away, others may not initially be sure if they can make it or simply procrastinate etc. I waited until a week after my RSVP date then asked people who hadn’t replied. It’s inconsiderate not to RSVP, but for some the due date may have just slipped their minds (lol it’s engraved in our own minds!) but I’m also really glad I approached people nicely because I had one person who had forgotten to reply because her spouse became very ill 🙁 so understandably she had more important things on her mind and I would have felt so shitty if I’d approached her with the attitude that she was inconsiderate not responding. 

Post # 5
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I had to call a lot!! People are soooo lazy they cant walk out to the mailbox lol

Post # 6
3045 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I don’t know what the norm is with RSVPs but it kind of irks me that I’ll probably have to follow up with adults. I understand people forget, they might be procrastinators, things get lost in the mail (not likely) blah blah but still. Takes 30 seconds to set a calendar reminder :p If its an elderly person I completely understand but otherwise not so much. Then again I’m the type to RSVP as soon as I receive something. 

Post # 7
608 posts
Busy bee

We got a few close to the deadline but not much. I started calling/texting people the day after the deadline and was pretty nice at first because some could have gotten lost in the mail. Most people responded yes or no immediately. But we did have around 5 people that we had to get blunt with and say basically we need a yes or a no by x date or we’re counting you as a no.


I actually had someone message me today and say they’re coming and forgot to send the rsvp card back. My rsvp date was 22 days ago…. I already knew he was coming because his aunt (who’s like his mom) told me. But I mean 22 days late really?? And he just got married last year so I would think he remembers how important rsvps are!

Post # 8
2747 posts
Sugar bee

I think part of the problem is that some people don’t know exactly what rsvp means.

Post # 9
103 posts
Blushing bee

oh man! this has been driving me nutty lately! we used paperless post for our invites with the RSVP built in. On the bright side, over half of our guests responded within 48 hours of receiving the email. However, it has been 6 weeks and we still are missing a handful of responses. Interestingly it has been the same RSVPs missing for over a month. We sent an auto-reminder to reply but this didn’t help. Looks like we will be calling people once the deadline has passed. 

Post # 10
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I RSVP back as soon as I know if I can/cannot attend, but I always end up needing to follow up with 1/2 of my adult guests who should know better for any event (my wedding, showers I’ve hosted, etc.). For my wedding, I sent the pre-stamped, pre-addressed RSVP cards but also mentioned that it was okay to call, email, or text responses.

Generally, the guests who I follow up with are: 

  • Procrastinators (“Oh yeah, I have the RSVP card RIGHT HERE. It says yes on it! The deadline isn’t until Tuesday, though…”)
  • Forgetful (“Oops, I keep forgetting to fill the card in, sorry!”)
  • Disorganized (“OMG, thanks for calling me, I lost the card and the invite and didn’t know what to doooooo…”)
  • Think I have magical mind-reading powers (“Of course I’m going. How could you even ask me that?!” Um… because YOU DID NOT RSVP?)
  • Can’t attend but feel super guilty about it. (“I’m so sorry! I can’t make it but I really wanted to…”) 

Collecting RSVPs is hands-down the most irritating part of wedding planning. Addressing invites being a close second. Just… pour yourself a nice glass of wine, put on some super relaxing music that makes you go Ahh… and once you’re done, take a nap. Good luck! 

Post # 11
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

I’m just assuming everyone who doesn’t RSVP by the day is going to be a no, but they just figured if they sit on the RSVP I’m going to magically forget I ever invited them. I have to call about 1/3 of my guest list to follow up. Giving them a week’s grace period. We also had online RSVP with the option to mail, call, text, email or just tell my mom. Didn’t help.

Post # 12
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

People don’t think they have to RSVP if it’s “obvious” that they are (parents, wedding party) or are not coming (people from far away). You still need headcount and their food choice! So frustrating. 

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