(Closed) Why do people tell married men/women they'll regret it?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

It’s said by people who aren’t happy in their marriage.  Almost every person I know that said that to xDH and I when we first got engaged 20 years ago….are now divorced

People say the same thing to Fiance – but he brushes it off and says “that’s why I’m 38 and never been married – i”ve waited for the perfect one to come into my life before I spent years being unhappily married….”. 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s either said by bittter, unhappy people or the ‘bro’ type that hasn’t figured out at 25 (or at 30, or 40 usually) that he’s no longer a frat boy. 

Post # 5
Member
3152 posts
Sugar bee

Dont let other people’s insecurities and bad experiences undermine what you have. That’s all it is.

Post # 6
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AcheneMalefic:  Because people are, on the whole, tacky.

Post # 7
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

No doubt about it – making the comment is rude. But many of them probably, in some light, see themselves as being helpful – they’re likely many years down the road in marriage. But they are also coming from a biased place; they assume the mistake is marriage. Not necessarily marrying the wrong person, or not having the right skills to make a floundering marriage a better one. So, in assuming that getting hitched in the first place is the problem, they go about doling out that advice.

And part of it’s also just the stereotype. Depending on how they said it, I’d assume most people uttering such a thing were just joking around.

Post # 8
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t agree with any of these comments.  I think it’s said out of sarcasm or a joke.  I am happily married, but a friend of mine is getting married in 3 weeks and I always make jokes about it to her.  I think historically through TV and comedies, marriage has always been an easy target.

It’s just life… no one has ever survived it.  Lighten up!

Post # 9
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

If it’s not someone you are joking around with then I think people say it because they are bitter and unhappy in their own relationship.

 

Post # 10
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

pisses me off when people say this

Post # 12
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I really do not know why people do that! It’s very rude and disrepectful to say the least. I am glad you are just shaking it off, if it were me, I would have been freaking pissed. Why do random people have to make such rude comments?! ugh so frustrating!

Post # 13
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would say because they’re not happy with their relationships/decisions/etc

Post # 14
Member
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I think people sometimes just always have something like that to say, some are unhappy and some are just joking around.

 

I have people now telling me I need to get married, and I better “get on that” if I ever want to have children cause I’m “not getting any younger” (I’m 29).

 

I can just see getting engaged then married and having those same people start saying oh no “don’t give up your independence” etc…

 

LOL – all I can do, I just find it amusing. Then I go on with my own life cause I am perfectly happy with things the way they are and don’t worry about what these people think.

Post # 15
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@AcheneMalefic:  it’s really starting to bother me. My step sister tells me all the time, “Are you sure you want to get married?, Don’t get married. Marriage is really hard. You’re going to regret it.” She’s married with 4 kids. It’s silly for people to say that. Not everyone has the same relationship once you’re married. If it not working out for them, then that’s on them. 

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