(Closed) Why do people think it's okay to ask Bridemaids to pay pay for things?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

@MrsSmokey:  I think it is tricky situation and depends on culture/region/relationships/personal finances. I am paying for one of my bridemaid’s dresses (it’s Fiance little sister) because she is 19 and doesn’t work/is in school. But my other 3 BM’s have jobs and are paying for their own. I cannot afford to pay for everyone’s dress.

I will say that I was sure to pick out a very affordable dress that they will be able to wear again. I am also letting them wear whatever shoes they already own.

On the other hand, I am in a wedding where the Bride is asking us to spend over $300 each (not including transportation, bachelorette party or bridal shower). It’s high for me personally, but I guess I agreed to do it (before I knew the costs though).

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’ve actually never heard of the bride paying for anything until I joined the bee!! i paid for everything for the 3 weddings I was in-dress, shoes, hair, makeup.. But I didn’t mind at all.

Post # 5
Hostess
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Tradition, mostly. It’s also an honor to be a maid/groomsman in someone’s wedding.

I think some ladies go a little crazy with it though, expecting expensive dresses/shoes/hotels/ect, and aren’t willing to help their bridal party if they don’t have the money.

Expecting a teenage girl to pay $200 for a dress is crazy.

Post # 7
Member
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsSmokey:  I agree! It’s a silly tradition. Why should someone else pay for helping you out on your wedding day?

I see in one of your old posts you say “Mum” so I’m guessing you’re not in North America. Where are you? In the UK the bride usually pays, while here in Australia it’s kind of half and half, i.e. some brides make their BMs pay (like the USA tradition), some pay themselves (like the UK tradition). Where I am the BMs usually pay, but I paid for my girls. Partly because it didn’t seem right to ask, partly because I’m bad at asking for money 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have my wedding in May and since im paying for my wedding and help from partner, we thought of asking the bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay towards outfits, hair etc and this would be our wedding present. Then everyone turned around and said they would do there own! So me freaking out decided to pay for them all! Depends on people 

 

I got my 200buck dresses for 40 bucks! Shop around

Post # 9
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jenilynevette:  Expecting a teenage girl to pay $200 for a dress is crazy.

I agree. Couldn’t she find anything less expensive? There are TONS of cheaper options.

 

Post # 10
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe because they keep the clothes, they own them?  I dunno.  Like if you invited someone to your costume party would you be expected to pay for their costumes?  I dunno, really.

I don’t see anything wrong with it.  I guess in my circle it’s completely expected…though not all can pay and that’s taken care of.

Post # 11
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I just asked my girls to wear whatever dress they wanted. It looked nicer than matchy matchy dreases in my opinion. I wasn’t big into matching colors – I just wanted them with me!

Post # 12
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It’s totally what works between you and your girls. I bought my girls’ dresses and am giving them each a kit (first aid, sewing, treats, etc), a personalized tea cup (our theme is tea party) and they are paying for their hair and makeup. I did that so that if they decided they wanted to do their own hair and makeup there was no pressure and they didn’t feel like they had to because I was paying. They had no issue whatsoever, one Bridesmaid or Best Man even brought home pearl necklaces for everyone to wear on the day.

Post # 13
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MrsSmokey:  Difficult issue, much depends on the culture, in my city (Mexico), the bridesmaids pay for their dresses and is not a bad thing.

In my case my friends work and I‘m just finishing college.We all know that a wedding have millions expenses. It is unfair to say that if you do not have all the budget does not do a wedding. If you ask to your best friends,  to be your bridesmaids is because there is a mutual appreciation and they take not bad to buy a dress. Just chose dresses affordables.

Post # 14
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree w/ PPs- its tradition depending on region/culture and it’s also an honor.  I almost always buy a new dress when I go to a wedding anyway, so I guess it isn’t much more to ask of me to buy a dress, but I think that if a bride is going to ask for a girl to get her makeup and hair professionally done, she should pay for it herself.  I also never had to buy new shoes.  I have a ton of evening shoes to wear, so I would be kind of pissed if I had to buy a new pair lol. 

Post # 15
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MrsSmokey:  wouldn’t her future sister in law have her dress paid for by her FI’s parents? because really they should do it for their daughter since she is in their son’s wedding. just my opinion. i would say that no matter what the price is

Post # 16
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why wouldn’t they pay? We are all adults with good paying jobs, I was expected to pay for my bridesmaid dress at their weddings and I expect the same of them. This IS the only expense I asked of them, and it is under $150.

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