Post # 1
I’m SO annoyed with people who continue to “offer” unsolicited advice and opinions about my wedding. It doesn’t matter what it is, people seem to think that they know best and we should blindly follow their advice. I don’t understand it, and lately it’s making me infuriated. My family is a big offender of this.
Both mine and FI’s mom think it’s “wrong” to see each other before the ceremony. They have both made comments to that effect. Ugh. And I’ve done my best to ignore it and do what we think is right for us.
As an aside – I’m sure us bees could have a full discussion on what’s better or why having a first look is “bad luck” or whatever, but that’s besides the point. My point is that it doesn’t matter what YOU think is right–you can do that if you want to, at your own wedding. But guess what? It’s our wedding and we decided a first look was the better route for us. So that’s what we’re doing, period.
What pushed my buttons today is that Future Mother-In-Law apparently told FI’s coworkers that *gasp* we will be seeing other before the ceremony. Oh. my. gosh. the horror. And so now one of FI’s coworker informed him that she doesn’t think we should see each other before the ceremony, bad luck, we’re going to hell, etc. etc. I have never even met this woman, and she is not invited to the wedding. So I’m not sure why she thinks she knows what is right for us. UGH. I feel like I’ve had it up to here with all of these unsolicited opinions. Fiance doesn’t care so much, but if I were in his shoes, I would tell that woman where she can shove it.
Do you get bombarded with other people’s unwelcome opinions/advice? How do you deal with it?
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@PrincessBride27: I don’t know if that’s advice so much as reacting to what you’ve told them you plan on doing them for your wedding.
So stop telling them things! And if you must tell them those details are NOT to be shared!!
Post # 4
@PrincessBride27: Ugh. You know what the say about opinions…
While I was browsing for the right color of red lipstick for my wedding, the Sephora lady asked what I was shopping for. When I told her my wedding, she was all, “Are you SURE you want something that DARK??? I just don’t want you to look back 20 years from now and regret how you looked on your wedding day!!” Bitch, did I ask for your opinion on how I should do my makeup? No, I didn’t. She then went on to tell me that she does makeup for weddings “on the side” and that she suggests all her brides go with a “natural” look. I refrained from speaking but my mom took up for me. Mom told her, “She’s a makeup artist too. She wants dark red, she’ll get dark red. She knows what she wants, and she’ll get what she wants.” Needless to say, I left without purchasing anything.
Post # 5
So Fiance and his mom work together?
I really just let it go in one ear, and out the other. Everyone has an opinion on everything. I kept the wedding talk to a minimum at work since most of my co-workers werent invited.
Post # 6
LOL Just smile and nod.
get used to it though – wait until you have kids and people start giving you unsolicited parenting advice….
Post # 7
“When I want your opinion I’ll snap my fingers.”
Post # 8
My Future Mother-In-Law doesnt think we should see each other before the wedding eithee but we are! We’re taking photos before the ceremony. It’s ok though cuz it’s not her wedding, it’s ours 🙂
Post # 9
I totally understand what youre going through, im full into wedding planning and I get the same thing, mostly from Future Mother-In-Law but still sometimes its like enough is enough. You got to have your wedding and your time already, I really dont know what makes people think just because they have a different idea or opinion of how something should be that theirs is more right than me and my FI’s decisions. Mostly I just change the subject or say oh I dunno we ll figure that out later. I have a feeling though that all im doing is post poning inevitable confrontatios. Ultimately, your wedding = your decisions.
Post # 10
Yeah, my FILS have very strong opinions about our wedding, our future home, anything. It’s tough because they expect everything to match their high standards, but that might not be something we can afford or that we even want.
Post # 11
I think some people (MIL/MOB) like to think the day is about THEM or like to live vicariously though their children.
Post # 12
U ignore them and do what u want to do. Every time.
Post # 13
Dang I just realized this is an old thread.
Post # 14
Oncewe stopped telling friends/coworkers/our moms/strangers things about our weddings, our “I have an opinion on this” stress VANISHED.
IN OTHER NEWS:
GIRL, WHAT KIND OF WEDDING are you having where you AREN’T having one million white roses everywhere?!?!?! It’s not a wedding without roses!
And you can’t see the roses before the ceremony – it’s BAD LUCK!
[ETA] Oh dang, I just realized it was an old thread too. Ohhh wellll
Post # 15
Yeah people say passive aggressive things . We tried to include close family in certain details so I think that helped. Plus we are paying. FI’s mom keeps telling me what kind of music we have to have, basically so her work friends can dance. Essentislly she wants to make sure we include old and new stuff so “everyone” will dance.
1. I know, and
2. I’ve seen plenty of adults dance to top 40.
Post # 16
Old thread or not, this certainly resonates with me. I’m having a very, VERY, casual wedding – as in, I’m getting married and then going home.
As recently as Friday, I had someone actually laugh when I told them I wasn’t having a reception (they’d asked what my first dance was going to be). General consensus is that my wedding doesn’t count if people aren’t getting shitfaced drunk afterward. Apparently I don’t ‘get’ the spirit of a wedding day. Funny, I thought it was about happiness and committing to that one person you love??
As for supersticious nonsense of it being bad luck to see each other before the ceremony – unavoidable since we live together and I’m bollocksed if I’m making a 30 mile journey to stay at my parents house the night before.