Member sassy411 : …ooooooorrrrrrrrrr he’s just planning for our 6 year anniversary which is in less than 3 months? That’s as viable of a guess as him not wanting to, not being ready, or just dragging his feet (although, admittedly, I do like my guess better than yours 
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MemberIt doesn’t take that long to plan a proposal—even an elaborate one. For whatever reason, he isn’t quite ready to propose. He could just not feel ready, or maybe he’s trying to hard to make it “perfect.” Who knows. Is he a perfectionist?
Memberlulubelle2017 : hmm maybe I should go back and edit my first post to mention that our 6 year anniversary is in about 2 1/2 months, which would be a totally viable reason for him to not propose RIGHT now (other than him not being ready/dragging his feet/insert other worst case scenario here). I mentioned this in the comments and was hoping anyone commenting would see that but I should probably just put it in the first post!
He’s not exactly a perfectionist, per say…he likes to “wing” things, and he often follows the “good enough” motto (I should know, I’ve been renovating a house with him for the last 5 months, I cannot tell you how many times we’ve gone to the home improvement store to pick out a paint color and after about 5 minutes of looking he says, “just pick one out, it’ll look fine either way!” meanwhile I would rather keep looking for 20 minutes more LOL). He’s pretty far from being a perfectionist in general.
MemberFor some reason I am unable to edit my first post and mention that our 6 year anniversary is coming up in the next few months which could be a reason for him to hold off on proposal (which I just now realized). So, instead, I’ll do this:
***ATTENTION ALL YE WHO COMITH TO COMMENT ON THY THREAD***
Please see above comment. Thanks. 
MemberTo me, it makes no difference that your anniversary is coming up. He could think that’s “too obvious” and wouldn’t be a “complete surprise.”
What is more relevant is your post on him winging it all the time, and never planning anything and being impulsive. That tells me he is not planning some big elaborate proposal. He is putting off proposing.
Memberizzabella : +1.
To OP, once again if it’s your true hope or belief that he’s probably doing it for your anniversary then why are you here looking for answers when you already decided yourself? I’m truly baffled by the multitude of reasons you have for him. He doesn’t even need to use any excuses because you’ve got it covered. 😂
Memberyupmarried : Came here to post the same thing. Lazy or stalling; those are the two main ones.
And I guess there’s the occasional case of waiting for a certain date or time of year, but I’m willing to bet that reasoning is often used to justify underlying procrastination.
MemberDoubleD : why am I here looking for answers, you ask? Because I have my suspicions, which I would say are probably more accurate than any advice you could offer (you see, I have a bit more of an insider perspective), I’m just interested in hearing other’s thoughts as well as venting about my waiting woes. Take it or leave it. I’ve found there’s always the worst case scenario commenters on here (“he’s cheating on you,” “dump him,” “he doesn’t want to marry you,” etc…) and sure, sometimes your right. But damn, your comments jump to conclusions REAAALL quick. And the worst case conclusion, at that. Y’all don’t really consider the potential consequences of your drastic comments, do ya? It’s a bit reckless, IMO. Thankfully I’m capable of separating ill-informed (no offense) comments from reality! Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t consider them. You could be right. But I also consider my own perspective, and who I know my boyfriend to be (which, like I said, is a bit more “first- hand experience” than yours for obvious reasons, wouldn’t you say?)
Anyways, thanks for the response! But I will kindly disagree with your take on the scenario.
Membergirlfriendphd : why is that case “occasional”?
MemberMemberkinlee : Because proposals can happen at any time. They don’t need to coincide with certain dates, and “surprise” proposals often purposefully don’t happen around special occasions because that would be “too obvious.”
Maybe my view is biased, but I don’t see the point of making a ready and willing partner wait for months and months for engagement because the time of year is somehow that important. I just don’t see how it can be that important. So I think it’s often just a convenient excuse to procrastinate. If both partners are in no hurry and want the same specific type of proposal then fine, but if if one person feels like they are waiting, then I don’t see the purpose of prolonging the wait except to stall.
Memberkinlee : Hey 🙂 I’ve been lurking in the threads for a while and your dilemma finally brought me to respond. Except I don’t think yours is a dilemma, if you guys have discussed it and you’ve come to the compromise about a timeline then let it be. I understand for some people that 6 months may be a long time but it really does fly! It must be hard to wait but he’s talked honestly about what he needs from you and when he’ll do it by then you have to trust that you’re both working towards the same goal.
I know this may seem naive to some Bees who have seen many waiting Bees ask in the comments but it really sounds like he’s given a timeline which you can agree to. Obviously if he doesn’t then it’ll be a harder discussion to have. But you’ve been with him for a long time so you know how he works. Trust that he wants the same goals as you do and do your own thing (and get plenty of manicures just in case! 😉 )
MemberTossing out a question for discussion:
If you planned to marry your romantic partner and you knew your romantic partner was eager to get engaged and was stressed out/upset/anxious about the lack of a proposal and that you were not engaged yet…. to the point of even doubting or questioning your love/commitment, would you:
A) be cagey about some big surprise you have not begun to plan. Insist they wait because you want it to be a surprise and clearly that’s the most important thing!
B) string them along by trying to throw them off the trail. Bonus points if they expect a proposal on certain dates or occasions but do t get one; that will help make it a surprise when it really happens!
C) realize the kindest and most loving thing to do is end their stress. Find a way to propose as soon as possible. Rip off the bandaid and end their torment!
Memberkinlee : “A quote pops in my mind- “when you want to be with someone forever, you want forever to start now” or something like that, not sure where I heard it, but it resonates with what I’m talking about here”
That’s from When Harry Met Sally.
At this point, if there is no doubt you’ll be getting married and you’ve openly discussed many of the hows and whens of a proposal, then technically a surprise proposal is just a formality. And delaying for months on end is just a stall tactic.
If a show of enthusiasm is more important to you than some date on the calendar, or an over planned and orchestrated proposal, let him know.
MemberThey don’t take that long to plan. We met in July and got engaged in November. We looked at rings once during those 4 months. He brought flowers, a sweet love letter, and the ring when he came to propose.
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