(Closed) Why do so many people complain about their husbands!

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’ve been with my Fiance for about 5 years, known him for 10, I can recall 2 arguements the whole time we have been together, have a great time both in groups and alone…I have no complaints!  He truly is amazing!  I see a lot of people that are married and all I can think is “why?”  But I also agree that its kind of innapprorpatie to complain about your husband to anyone but your husband.  Isn’t that what being married is all about? Communicating if something is wrong and working it out?  Maybe thats why my Fiance and I never fight because it never gets to that because we communicate so well?

Post # 18
Member
975 posts
Busy bee

I hear women at work, or friends, constantly complain and bitch about their husbands.  When I was married to my x, I never complained or bitched about him, even though I hated him.  I thought it was disrespectful to our marriage and I didn’t want people knowing personal things about my marriage.  

That is one of my pet peeves, hearing people complain about their spouses.  To me, they obviously are not in love with them. Being in love and happy doesn’t make you complain and bitch about them, at least you shouldn’t be doing that.  That’s how I feel.  

I am absolutely in love and very happy with my Fiance and our relationship. I can’t imagine ever complaining to anyone about him.   

Post # 19
Member
612 posts
Busy bee

@katydaisy:  I think some women think it’s almost like a bonding thing, to complain about their husbands….then their friends can join in the fun, so to speak.

When I was working, there were many shifts where the majority of the nursing staff was female, and it was the same thing: bitch about your husbands and how you can’t wait to go on your Bermuda cruise with your girlfriends, etc.  

I find it tiresome….as pp’s have said, DH may have his faults but I honestly want to be around him like 95% of the time, more than anyone else.  I never bitch about him to anyone!   

Post # 20
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I never talk about my relationship to anyone else. I guess people do it to vent or maybe to bond but I don’t think it’s appropriate.

Post # 21
Member
1673 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I really only tend to tell people the good stuff.  I had to stop being friends with someone because she would complain about her husband then in the next breath say he was the greatest thing in the world.  Um, wut?

Post # 22
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

My husband and I have been married for almost two years, and we were together for 6 before that. He proposed at five years, telling me that the best part of his day is coming home to me— and he always wants that. Even after 8 years, we rush home to be together. Spending time with him is still very special to me. We have a lil’ one on the way, so the dynamic will change, but we will always, always make time for each other. 

Do we have our issues? Sure. Do we fight sometimes? Yep. Do we love each other with every fiber of our being? Sure do. 

I choose him each day. He knows how to make me smile, laugh, and we’re a team. 

I’m sorry you’re hearing such negative marriage stories. 

Post # 23
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think a big part of it is that people just don’t talk about things when they’re going well, and other people–the majority, not all, of course–do not want to hear about it at all. I’m about to say something potentially offensive, but… we all have that one friend on Facebook who never ever stops gushing on and on about their SO. And secretly everyone hates them for it (even if we like the friend). I have one of those friends and every time she posts something about how she’s soooooo happy I roll my eyes a bit. Like, I’m glad she’s happy and everything because she really deserves it, but, well… it’s kind of annoying.

I actually had someone recently ask me if fiance and I are “doing ok” because I never talk about him on Facebook. We have a fantastic relationship, I don’t even know what I would say! “Today J and I had a disagreement over something. We talked about it like actual adults and now everything is fine.”

Bitching invites more conversation than gushing. When someone says “I’m so happy!” all you can do is reply with something like “Congrats! I’m so happy for you!” but when someone says “My husband is an ass” people can chime in with advice, shoulders to cry on, their own experiences, get some real discussion going.

I’m not saying any of these are “good” reasons, but, well, it’s just how people are. If people weren’t entertained by others’ drama, reality tv wouldn’t be a thing.

Of course, these forums don’t abide by those “rules” at all, because we’re specifically here for (hopefully) happy relationships and happy wedding things. Smile

Post # 24
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have no complaints here.  BUT as much as you love your husband, nothing beats a little alone time, when you live with someone for so long, it is a rare occurence! I encourage my guy to go out with his friends all the time, then I go home, pour myself a glass of wine, get into the tub and cap off my night with a marathon viewing of all my crap television!

Post # 25
Member
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Before my Fiance and I got engaged I would complain sometimes at work about him. I never said I dreaded seeing him or didn’t want to go home to him, but I felt pressure to “fit in” by complaining. I think it’s similar to the stereotype that men are supposed to be annoyed by the old “ball and chain”. As I got a bit older, I realised that nothing good comes out of only talking about the bad in your relationship. Now I mainly focus on the good stuff and if I don’t have anything nice to say I don’t say it at all. I’ll joke about something small my Fiance did (like forgetting to pick me up from work one night or something) but will never actually complain. I think it’s supposed to be a “bonding” thing.

Post # 26
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think a lot of people marry the wrong person or think that marriage will magically make the relationship better. Like This Time Round said, it won’t. If there are issues in your relationship before you get married they will still be there and probably worsen afterwards. I want to scream at the threads on here that start “I’ve been married a year, we had issues before but I thought…..”

Also as people have said, a lot of women just like to complain, which is why I’m glad I work with men.

Post # 27
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have been with my DH for almost 10 years and I never ever dred going home to see him. I still look forward to it.

As other people mentioned, people like to complain. Although, I work in an office with many women, and there’s only one who complains about her spouse…

 

@This Time Round:  + 1000!!!

Post # 28
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Men complain about their wives too!  My DH and I work in male dominated companies and we constantly hear men complaining about their marriages, wives, and kids.  I think people just like to complain.

Post # 29
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

I love my husband very much and have wonderful things to say about him. But a co-worker and I shared a good laugh over this!! I do complain now & then about him not cleaning, or his snoring or things like that. But most of the time it’s in a joking, endearing way. I’m pretty sure I have more good things to say than bad & can’t imagine saying I dread going home! We have lived together for about 10 years & I’m always in a hurry to get how & see him although I do appreciate my alone time. When you live with someone for a long time, you definitely get annoyed by certain things, but usually, if you love them, you get over it pretty easy. I think we had our honeymoon stage for about 2 years before I realized he wasn’t perfect. I doubt many relationships feel that way forever, but they are still wonderful. As time goes on you may not have rainbows & butterflies, but you have something much stronger. & deeper & it’s ok if you fight or get annoyed now & then as long as you get through it together.  Sounds like your co-workers either enjoy complaining or may need some counseling!

Post # 30
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@katydaisy:  I can’t understand it either, I have been with my husband for 10 years, but we just got married a few weeks ago (on our 10 year anniversary).

Sure we butt heads, we argue, but I never complain, and I NEVER not want to go home!

Have I complained about him? Yes, but its stupid stuff like how much of a perfectiionist he is when cleaning LoL, never anything that makes me resent him.

Most of the time I am talking about my husband its always funny stories.

I actually feel bad for women who complain the way your co-workers do because I think to myself, so why did you get married at all???

Post # 31
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@This Time Round:  Completely true!  I know too many couples who got married or who are getting married because it is the next step in their relationship – and not because they are ready for marriage.

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