(Closed) Why do some people choose not to RSVP?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i know – I feel like saying if you turned up at my wedding without an RSVP you wouldn’t be catered for. That’s why there are RSVPs. Nods in agreement. I have a few people on my list who I’m intendeding on inviting if some family don’t turn up. NO RSVP no entry into the reception!

Post # 4
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

No idea. It’s just plain rude

Post # 5
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I totally don’t get it either – I really felt like I was trying to sell people life insurance or a used car instead of having them RSVP to an awesome party & celebration!

I was even more peeved about the people that did RSVP but just didn’t come.  To me, that is even worse because I’m still on the hook for paying for them.

Post # 6
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Because people are difficult and rude. It’s infortunate but almost always true. 

Post # 7
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think some people don’t want to commit, but honestly- what’s better than a friend’s wedding???

I’m planning on using this e-mail for non-rsvps, which was posted on another thread- think it’s perfect:

“Hi- Just wanted to check on your RSVP for our wedding on July 13th. We know how easy it is to let these dates get away from you, however we need to give our caterer a final number of guests. If we don’t hear back from you by (DATE), we’ll have to assume that you are unable to attend.”

I also don’t understand the no shows. If something comes up-call the bride or groom. Depending on how late it is, the couple can change the final catering number, or have someone else fill in-there are plenty of friends of the family we could invite.

Post # 8
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

To be honest i’m one of those non-rsvp’ers. **ducks and hides** Alot of mine come without a stamp. I NEVER have stamps-just like i NEVER have cash. So I’ll take the invite and put it in my bottomless everything bag, In hopes of getting a stamp, or actually seeing the person and give it to them in person. I’m completely air headed. It slips my mind. Same goes for the ones with stamps- it goes into my bottomless everything bag where I won’t remember it until 3 months later when i’m cleaning it out. I actually had NO IDEA why the RSVP’s were so IMPORTANT until I became engaged. Sorry!!!!!!!!!

Post # 9
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@rebwana: That is a great e-mail; so polite and friendly yet firm. Thank you for sharing!

Post # 10
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@rebwana:  Yes! I’m with  @Fairy Penguin:  Thanks for sharing! It will really help with super busy people and extremely unorganized people such as myself!

Post # 11
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@2strapscool:  thats bizarre. i’ve never heard of someone sending an RSVP without a stamp! that is rude haha

Post # 12
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have thought that maybe people don’t know that they have to RSVP. Like they don’t really know what goes into planning a wedding and all of that. That’s the only thing I can think of. Either that or they just don’t care.

Post # 13
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@September29:  I have gotten a few like that! I was like, aw man, now I have to go find stamps. I never have stamps.

Post # 14
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Because they’re self-centered?  They’re a$$holes?  Clueless?  All of the above, more like it.

We just had to twist my Maid/Matron of Honor and my fiance’s good friend to finally RSVP.  They think we know telepathically, I dunno.  And the funny thing is that the fiance’s friend RSVPed with her 3 children that she shares custody with.  How would we have ‘known’ that she had them that weekend?  People just do.not.think.  Oh and it’s not about a stamp – we used an online RSVP site.  They still refused to RSVP until we pretty much held a cyber gun to their head.

Post # 15
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I can understand why someone would RSVP but not show up (though I think it’s rude except in certain situations like illness), but I am perplexed when I hear about people NOT RSVPing but then showing up (or RSVPing “no” but showing up). Do they expect there to be food for them?

No shows are one of my fears for my wedding. Unless someone has a really good excuse for not coming, I would be pretty upset. I’m not planning to order extra plates, so if extra people show up, then I guess they just won’t have a meal (that feels mean to write, but how are we supposed to know if people don’t tell us?).

Post # 16
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

op i totally agree. some people are just damn right rude! grrr!

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