At my first wedding, I didn’t DIY anything. I was working full-time and going to law school 3/4 time, and I just didn’t have the time. And a lot of the things I see people DIYing are things we just did without. We didn’t decorate either the ceremony venue or the reception venue, except that my ILs got some flowers for the ceremony venue. (We would have left even those out, left to our own devices.) We didn’t have programs. We had the reception at a restaurant, so they supplied food, tables, chairs, linens, etc. We didn’t have music or dancing at the reception. The wedding was just fine as far as I was concerned. I made it through law school without going insane, and I stayed married for 20 years. (I wish I had been able to stay married for life, but the issues certainly didn’t relate to anything about the original wedding.)
This time, my wife and I did far more DIY. There were several reasons for this. First, I am now self-employed, and my wife was unemployed during our engagement, so we had more free time. We had no financial assistance from anyone with the wedding, so if we wanted something we couldn’t afford, we either DIYed or did without. And the wedding itself was a much bigger deal to me, because we had believed for so long that we would never be able to get married.
Even so, I rationed our DIY efforts. With regard to each project, we would DIY only if: a) we wanted something that was not commercially available at all (e.g., invitations and programs based on the artwork of our ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) or b) the amount saved represented a reasonable “payment” for the amount of time and energy required. This meant, for example, that my wife designed our invitations. However, we did not make the pocketfolds ourselves, and we did not print the invitations out ourselves–we paid Cards & Pockets to handle those tasks. We didn’t DIY pomanders, because pomanders were just not important to us to justify the time involved.
I do see some people who seem to think that DIYing every aspect of the wedding is a moral imperative. I don’t believe that. If a project is going to take you hours, and save you only a couple of bucks, I’d say don’t do it unless you really want something you can’t get commercially. And remember that your marriage, and your career, are more important than the one day of your wedding, so don’t let wedding planning jeopardize those things.