(Closed) Why do we have buyer’s remorse for The Dress?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Sometimes I think the dress is a psychological representation of the “guy”.  There are so many beautiful dresses out there- any one of a million would be wonderful on that special day… deep inside ourself we might ask ourself the same question about the one we marry.  So maybe… all the focus on the dress, is just the way we transfer our internal (and unspeakable) thoughts about the fiance.  Or not:-)  A successful life though, is always working with what you’ve got… and spinning it into gold.  Trite perhaps, but the old saying is true- life IS what you make it. 

Post # 4
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I like your theory on the psychological representation of the guy.  Very interesting!!  I am having cold feet already about the dress that I ordered a month ago.  I even went out searching some more but none come close to the way I feel when I wear my dress (which by the way I’ve gone back 4 times to try it on).  I also think it’s a bit of the perfectionist in me.  I see flaws now that it is my dress.  But I know if I go out looking again, I am still going to go back to this same dress…

Post # 5
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m the same way, I was super excited when I bought my first dress, but then I picked it up, and it was “eh” — I ended up buying another dress that I really love (something I said I’d never do, be a 2 dress bride!).

I don’t think it’s a representation of the guy — I have no doubts on the man I’m marrying!

I think the reason we have doubts on the dress is that there are SO many options out there, and when you first start looking, you don’t even KNOW what you want.  Then you keep on seeing bridal magazines, bridal blogs and boards and there are so many other pretty dresses that you didn’t even know existed!

I guess it could be compared to a guy you date on your early 20’s — you have a guy that you think it’s everything you want, the “love of your life.”  Years later, after having dated more, you know all the options out there, you know what you like and don’t, but you didn’t know all of that when you were 21!

Post # 6
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I totally understand.  I am so tempted to go dress shopping and buy something off the rack but I can’t afford it because I paid way too much money for the first dress.  Some times I wonder if I had spent less money would I have been more satisfied with my purchase.  My dress is from Demetrios and I just keep thinking no one will know the difference between the 1100 dollars I spend and the 4 or 500 dollars I could have spent.  I also think that I worry about people finding out how much my dress cost and then saying that it wasn’t worth what I paid for it because its not a very detailed or dramatic dress its simple like me.

Post # 8
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My answer to the two dress thing- once you bought one, STOP LOOKING! 

I call the problem “grass is always greener” syndrome. whatever we don’t have we tend to want. Straight hair, we want curls, curly, we want straight. It is such a big decision, too, to buy the one and only wedding dress you are ever going to wear (hopefully). It’s a lot of pressure to “get it right”.

I bought my gown last weekend, and i REFUSE to look at anything else, so that I don’t have to go through this. I think it is a tremendous waste of money to buy two, unless you can sell one for the same price you bought it for. it’s bad enough spending hundreds of dollars on a dress you will wear for five hours or so. i don’t spend that kind of money on clothes I will wear over and over, so, special-est day or not, I am just not going ther on “THE” dress. 

Post # 9
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s mainly due to the fact that many women still look at dresses after they have purchased theirs and decide they like something else instead than what they already have. Yes, some people are indecisive, but you shouldn’t buy a dress  (or anything for that matter) unless you know for absolute certain that is what you want to purchase.

Post # 10
21 posts

I just bought my dress today and I didn’t have “the moment” but both my mom and sister who are VERY honest said it made me look great – so I went with it!  It has all the features I wanted and I’m trying not to get too distracted by my lack of “moment” — I’m hoping I will still love it when I see it when it arrives!  I’m going to take the advice of the ladies here and stop looking at other dresses!!  Also, I love the fact that many other former brides came back and said that on the day they weren’t thinking about the dress, just their new husband! and how they felt.  I chose a dress I felt great in and I’m just going to focus on that as much as possible! 

RubyFalls, in my opinion, the doubts are a brilliant marketing ploy planted in our minds by people who sell dresses!  Ignore ’em and keep rereading your “gushing” post – your own words will ring true to you!  In fact, I’m going to go write myself a letter right now to read when I get my dress to remind me why I picked it! 🙂


Post # 11
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My friend’s advice to me when I went shopping was that if I found “the dress” to walk away.  Walk away from it and give myself at least a week until I go back and buy it, and if I can try on other dresses in the meantime, to do so.

I think we’re told to get swept away when we find “the one” and to go for it.  Yet, we realize that there’s thousands of other dresses out there that could possibly be the one.  It’s easy to get caught up & excited & buy the first thing we love.  But, sometimes it’s better to walk away and let yourself think about it and look at pictures and really decide, when you’re not in the moment, that it’s the one.

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