(Closed) Why do we have dress regret?

posted 6 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Did you have dress regret?
    YES! Most definetly! I even bought a new dress. : (18 votes)
    26 %
    Yes, and it I kept my 'dress regret' dress and LOVED it on the day. : (11 votes)
    16 %
    Yes, and it I kept my 'dress regret' dress and HATED it on the day. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    A little but I got over it. : (19 votes)
    27 %
    No dress regret. : (21 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @whitewater8:  I think women regret it because part of it is buyer’s remorse – guilt over large, not necessarily essential purchases – and part of it is that our society has basically conditioned us our whole lives to believe that we need to be perfect princesses on our wedding day.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    If you want a totally nerdy take on it, read Barry Schwartz’ “The Paradox of Choice.”

    Basically, we second-guess ourselves because there are just SO many options – too many. In theory, limitless options *should* mean that we can find maximum satisfaction because the perfect option has to be out there somewhere, right? In practice, knowing that there are unlimited options actually makes it very difficult to choose one and be happy with it, and stop wondering if there’s “something better out there somewhere.”

    (BTW Schwartz doesn’t talk about wedding dress regret per se, but he *does* talk about how this type of thinking can weaken marriages and contribute to adultery.)

    Post # 5
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    The dress I bought was the 3rd dress I tried on.  Being plus-size I dreaded going shopping for my wedding dress.  So I was relieved to just find a dress that fit me.  I never had that “moment” when I fell in love with my dress.  And then, I went from liking the dress to absolutely hating it.  I felt guility about wanting a new one since it was a gift from a family member.  My best friend, who was there when I chose the dress, kept reassuring me that the dress was beautiful. But I just felt like I had “settled” without seeing what is out there.

    But on my wedding day, I absolutely fell in love with the dress.  I realized that even though I didnt have that “moment” while shopping, I did buy a dress that was truely me.  Once you put the dress on with the hair, make up and accessories, you will see that all your doubts wash away.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1598 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m hoping I didn’t vote prematurely. I bought my dress back in June and it’s not due to come in until December or January.

    I was actually afraid that I’d eventually have dress regret, but after 5 months, I don’t. Every time I think about my dress or see a picture of me in it, I smile. I LOVE the way it looks and how it made me feel.

    Maybe it’s because I tried on 25-30 dresses before I found the one, so I KNEW I was making the right decision. 

    And even though I might see other dresses on these boards or SYTTD or other TV shows and love them, I still know mine is the one. I have no desire to go and try on other dresses and surprisingly I haven’t even had the thought, “hm, I wonder if . . .”

    Guess I just got lucky!

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think it’s because there are literally hundreds of dresses you might love, but you have to just pick one so there is always kind of a “what if”. Doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice though, but it’s hard to let go of all of the other pretty dresses and stick to just one. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2465 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I didn’t have dress regret at all! But I think I didn’t regret it partially because I took quite a bit of the time to make the decision. One of the things that I absolutely hate about shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” is that they act like the dress decision is something that has to made at the spur of them moment, totally based on emotion, and that a bride who takes more time to make a rational decision is going to end up screwing herself because she gets too picky or indecisive, etc. Really, that’s just what’s best for the salesperson working on commission–not what’s best for the bride necessarily. And that was absolutely NOT the case for me. My dress was the 1st dress I tried on, but I prob tried around 30 dresses all together, at 5 different salons. The time I bought it was the THIRD time I visited the salon and tried it on, about a month after I first tried it. I needed all that time–I was deciding between 2 dresses at 2 stores, and I needed to be able to close my eyes and picture myself in it, to actually start dreaming about and visualizing it, before I could pull the trigger. That’s just what worked best for me.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I had regret because I started doubting the style.  I also think we see a gazillion dresses and that influences our judgement (vs. just the ONE dress your Fiance will see at your wedding!) 🙂

    It wasn’t until my final fitting, two days before, when a complete stranger at the bridal shop gasped when I walked out and started raving about how good I looked that I realized I made the right choice.  Up until then, I obsessed about it – wondering if Darling Husband would like it – wondering if I’d hate seeing pictures of it in “x” years, etc….

    ETA:  I also wonder if it has to do with there being SO many amazing dresses out there!  And styles vary so much between them, that you could look amazing in so many different combinations!

    Post # 10
    Member
    3415 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

    For me my dress regret came from choosing a dress to fit a certain wedding theme. I loved it and it was on sale because it was being discontinued. I bought it and then we changed our wedding date. Then I started thinking that I didn’t want the theme I was originally thinking and when I changed my vision of the wedding my dress vision also changed. Not that my first dress wouldn’t have been fine, but shouldn’t a bride marry in the PERFECT dress to fit her PERFECT wedding. So I started looking at dresses to fit what my new vision was and I ended up falling in love with a dress online. I called around finally found a sample and bought it then and there. So now I’ve learned that I just need to make up my mind and stick with it and not look after I’ve already decided. Like a previous poster said we have so many options that it makes it harder for us to make a decision. And when its an important, expensive buy you really start to wonder if you made the right choice. Sometimes you just have to accept there are better options, there always will be but you can’t look forever and you make a choice that is available to you with the resources you have. And leave it at that.

    Post # 11
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I had it and still do. I kept thinking, “what if a better one comes out or I just haven’t tried one that has given me the moment yet.” I had it narrowed down to two dresses, both within a 5% price difference. I ended up getting opinions from friends and family. That made it even more difficult because it was split 50/50. I chose the more classic, but modern one over the one that was a little trendier and had a little more going on. I even had my fiance look at both so I went with his pick.  I still freak out time to time, but I figure it is such a small part of your big day. 

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Hopefully you won’t get man regret. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Narrawallee reserve/beach & Mollymook golf club

    I panicked that my dress wouldn’t match my location since we changed from garden to beach, but after looking at more photos on real brides I have realised it’s not as “poofy” as in the magaines and Mum didn’t like the detail I want removed now anyway. So remove a flower and don’t wear a hoop, problem solved and I love my dress again! Smile

    Post # 14
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I kind of have some dress regret but I’m not reading too much into it. It’s mostly that I always thought I was going to have a big tulle ballgown and I almost picked one that fit that description but then the dress I ended up picking surprised me by how much I loved it. I totally had the “moment” and started crying and think that I look great in the dress. The only thought that lingers is that it isn’t tulle! It’s basically got everything besides tulle though haha: lace, pickups, beading, rosettes, ruching, Somehow it all works together beautifully!

    Post # 15
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @whitewater8:  I think a lot of the “regret” stems from brides always comparing their dress to everyone else’s.  The bottom line is:  choose what makes you happy, not what you think is going to “upstage” everyone else.

    The topic ‘Why do we have dress regret?’ is closed to new replies.

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