Good Question !!
As an Older Bee and someone who is an Encore Bride… I’ve seen a lot of this over the decades.
I find it really sad to read many of the posts here on the WAITING BOARD that would look like / sound like what things were like when I was “waiting” for a proposal back in my Uni days from my then soon to be First Husband (married circa 1980)
Ya 30+ years later, and not a lot of stuff “appears” to have changed
BUT that isn’t the reality
The reality is woman’s role in society has improved greatly
We have way more opportunity now that we did when I was in my 20s
The Glass Ceiling is gone entirely
There is wage equity
We have more guaranteed rights in society (such as you can’t lose your job just because you choose to have a baby)
We now can take charge of our own lives and make choices about our sexuality for example and not be judged for it, or be known as a SLUT cause WE CHOOSE to have sex before Marriage
(Or choose to have Sex with more Partners than just the one we marry)
We can date whomever we please…
So why are women still pining after a Proposal much as I was perhaps some 30+ years ago as I was preparing to Graduate from Uni and hoping that the man I’d been dating 3 long years would step forward with a plan for the 2 of us to spend the rest of our lives together, vs break up and his ride off into the sunlight towards some new career in another city ???
BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN
We don’t take charge. We don’t “date like a man” **
We let our emotions get the better of us
We get too invoved too fast
We get all emotional vs having the common sense to date with our heads
(Sad because as women of this time we are a LOT MORE EDUATED / KNOWLEDGEABLE than the women of the same age were a few decades ago)
We don’t STEP UP THE GAME
When one Steps up the Game and demands respect (and repects ourselves) then others naturally follow suit
This isn’t all LOW SELF-ESTEEM
As might be professed here at times on the WBEE WAITING BOARD
And what many assume it to be
It is the FACT that as Women no one has told us we HAVE THE POWER to change the situation SOLELY by TAKING THE POWER BACK, and thinking better of ourselves
And doing some reading / research to fully understand HOW MEN THINK
Men are pretty basic creatures (we are the complicated ones)
If you understand what makes them tick, then you can know how to not be put in a situation (a situation essentially WE PUT OURSELVES IN where we have no power in the relationship)
This is what having a LIFE PLAN and a LIFE TALK is all about
YOU MAKE CHOICES THAT ARE GOOD FOR YOU… AND GET ON WITH THINGS
The Man then is either on side… or he’s not on side. You know up front. You don’t waste your time WAITING to see what he’ll decide
And guess what…
When women TAKE THE POWER BACK and become strong & self confident, then MEN NOTICE
MEN GET ON SIDE. Cause they don’t want to be left out.
Women up themselves (BONUS)… and at the same time they up the MEN too (BETTER BONUS)
Ladies that is the secret
DON’T DISCOUNT YOURSELVES… DON’T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING… YOU ALL DESERVE MORE IN THE WAY OF LOVE
IT CAN BE YOURS… BUT YOU HAVE TO SHOW A MAN THAT YOU ARE WORTH IT
And he (they) will come running.