(Closed) Why do WE have to wait?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
576 posts
Busy bee

I like this thread. 

Post # 33
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had a thread like this, this is my opinion.


I never grew up wanting a proposal and honestly wouldn’t have liked to get one. Marriage is a commitment between two people and I don’t understand why only the man gets to make the call in most cases.

People tell me “we both talked about getting married, it’s just that it is official with the proposal”. Why?! Like, you’re with someone, and you have settled that you guys want to marry for sure in the near future, and you can’t plan or tell anyone about it until HE decides that it’s a good time to pop the question?

I see strong women, with awesome careers, that have done plenty of things, and yet they suffer in silence waiting for a ring even though they’ve talked about getting married. I just don’t get it! Why turn something good that will change both of your lives into something 1) shameful (not talking about with him to not pressure, pinning in secret, etc) or worse 2) a power struggle (giving timelines, dropping hints, having fights about it).


I get that most of us like surprises and romantic gestures –but why tied with something so important  that we should be a part of?

Post # 34
1228 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I get why women wait.  I think it takes the average man longer to be ready for marriage than the average woman.

What kills me – are the Bees who think they need to earn marriage.  They think they need to be the perfect girlfriend, cook a lot of gourmet dinners, give a lot of foot rubs, and never ever talk about marriage because the perfect girlfriend never pressures her man.  Hell no! If you need to convince and beg and plead for marriage, he is not the one for you.  

Post # 36
33 posts

@Schrodingers-Car:  I love my Fiance more than anything in this world, I waited 15 years for him to propose which happened last month. 

My own personal opinion is people fixate on the proposal.  Some people nag their partners, some peope whinge and it is all that occupies their mind which is what would be driving them insane.  

I just enjoyed my relationship and being with my SO and never pushed or asked about marriage because I knew he loved me and that was enough for me.

If it is meant to happen it will when he is ready to ask (or you decide to propose to him if you choose to).  

Yes it took my SO a loooong time to propose, but the 15 years I got to spend with him leading to that moment were all worth it and we are the happiest we have ever been.

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