(Closed) Why do we plus sized brides do this to ourselves?

posted 9 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 17
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ve been struggling with this exact thing recently.

When I bought my dress 5months ago, I bought it in my size then. I have lost a little weight since then but probably not more than 1 size.

I’ve been stressing about making sure I have spanx to wear and a longline bra to help suck everything in because, as I told Fiance, ” I don’t want someone looking at me and going, OMG did you see how fat his wife is”. His response was ” I’ve thought you were gorgeous since the day I laid eyes on you and that isn’t going to change. And no one will ever say such a thing about you because you are and will be stunning”

As soon as he said that to me I relaxed. I just stopped worrying as much about it and started to just love me.

I am the woman he wants to marry and I was 15lbs heavier when he met me so he has no problems with me as I am!

Post # 18
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in a similar situation as Miss Tattoo. My family has a history of heart problems, diabetes and obesity. I’m just trying to break the cycle and looking great on my wedding day is just a bonus.

I bought a dress that was my size… For my body type (I carry all of my weight around the middle) I would have to lose about 25 pounds to equal a dress size. It’s taken me a year to lose 30 and maintain it, there was no way I was going to lose that in 4 months, and I’ve only lost 3 pounds since I bought my dress in June, so that was a smart decision. Honestly, there is so much stuff going on, counting calories is that last thing that I want to do right now, so eating sensibly it is!

Post # 19
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I want to lose weight for a lot of reasons, but my top ones are health, style, and appearance in that order.  The first is fairly obvious.  The second…well, I just can’t stand most plus sized gowns.  I feel like the vast majority look cheap and use inferior materials in order to compensate for the extra fabric being utilized.  And it’s a FACT that there aren’t as many plus sized gowns out there as there are regular sized gowns, so I feel like there’s a lot of overlap and a lot of brides wearing the same gown.

And the last one:  I only skimmed through the comments here, so I don’t know if someone has already said this, but I’d like to lose weight because I’d like to recognize myself in the pictures.  I have always been overweight, but in my head, I really don’t FEEL as heavy as I appear…if that makes any sense.  I know I’m overweight, but when I see pictures of myself I think, “seriously? am I THAT heavy?”  I just don’t feel like I look that way in the mirror–only in pictures.  So I want to lose weight for a number of reasons. And yes, one of them is for my pictures. Because I’m going to be looking at them forever.  Just MO

Post # 20
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know I have questioned the same thing…I bought a dress that fits me perfectly right now, but here I am eating one meal a day to look “better” in two months. :/

Post # 21
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My desire to lose weight came from a bunch of different reasons.  Not wanting to look back at pictures with regret was a big one (as experienced in a friend’s wedding as the biggest bridesmaid 12 years ago).  I hate how looking at those wedding pictures make me FEEL and I know I felt horrible.

I hated dress shopping and ended up picking a dress that I thought make me look thinner.  I told the shop I was losing weight and they ended up selecting the size that would fit me at the time.  

4 months later, when my dress came in – it was ridiculously large.  So much so, the shop worked to swap it out for a dress that was two sizes smaller.  Even that one was too large and had to be taken in.  (with each fitting, they kept yelling at me to stop shrinking – and, to be totally honest – I loved hearing that!!).

When we were going through the process of figuring out what size would fit my smaller body (to see if the smaller size would fit around my rib cage), I tried on a dress by the same manufacturer in a different style and I LOVED out this other style fit.  There’s no way it would have looked good on me when I was dress shopping – but it was AMAZING now.  This left me with TONS of dress regret, etc…. but, now that I’m almost a year removed from the process – my dress looked great on me regardless.  No one else saw the other dresses… they only saw MY dress.

My point in all of this is hopefully you have a good alterations person who will fit YOUR dress to YOUR body – in whatever shape/size it is for your wedding.  If you do – it will look stunning on you – even though, your body MAY also be flattering in another style of dress.

Post # 22
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I dunno abt u guys, but I lost the weight because I felt very unhealty. I can feel the difference in my body on the INSIDE now by losing my excess baggage. The wedding was a really good incentive/goal to do it for. However, I have tried very much to keep it off since then. That is the ultimate goal after all.

I encourage you all to lose the excess baggage. It is not worth it. It’s putting too much strain on your most VITAL parts of your body… your heart is pumping significantly under more stress, lungs are doing double-duty, etc. etc. It’s simply not worth it.

We shouldn’t be ‘model-skinny’ but we all need to be a healthy weight. Sure we should eat what we feel like, but provided that we respect our bodies. We only have one life to live.

Post # 23
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@BrideToBrit  Oh I have been dying to say the exact same thing!!!  I saw my best friend go from a size 8 to a size 2 for her wedding.  She exercised 4 hours a day and ate less than 800 calories – if that.  (She threw everything up.)  So it’s not just plus size brides that feel the pressure.

I think what’s helping me is an article from APW.  No one really notices your weight.  Just you.  To everyone else, you are your normal self.

@BrideToBrit

Post # 24
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

What a wonderful article! Thanks for sharing

Post # 25
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am also guilty of wanting to lose weight before the wedding, but the funny thing is not for my body but for the shape of my face. I was more photogenic when I was thinner so now I just feel like my face looks puffy!

I know I will always be plus sized, I know I will always be larger than most women, at 5’8″ and a size 20-22. I am okay with that! I just don’t want to look like bloated Elvis on my wedding day!! LOL

I would love to be a size 14-16 and I know it’s do-able. Not before the wedding, but in due time. A twenty pound loss since we got engaged is good for me. I am proud of my accomplishment.

I am going to do a cleansing, though, to try and take the blowfish face down just a little bit!! 

Post # 26
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

View original reply
@soontobemrsjohnnyb  What’s interesting is that guys typically either like girls size 12 and under or size 18 and up.  14 & 16 are dead zones.  I used to work in a certain kind of entertainment, and girls 14 – 16 were told to either gain or lose weight.

Post # 27
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
@galloway111 Agreed.

The pressure is always there but with the wedding pending everyone hints at those extra pounds. Even my little cousin told me during her visit last month that I better up my running so I can be sure to fit into my dress (she is 10 and its a corset, we’ll make it fit).

I am severely hard on myself pretty much on a daily basis. I eat light and healthy and rarely splurge (with the exception of certain vacations etc). I excercise like crazy for hours on end several days a week. Despite all those efforts my body remains pretty much the same with about a 5-10 pound window. I work hard on accepting myself as is but it is hard. I feel that after losing 120 pounds I am harder on myself than I was when I was heavier. While I am confident around others it is truly an inner battle.

Post # 28
Member
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i bought a dress in my size, it looks great. people ask me often if i’m going to diet for the wedding and i’m like “OMG no way! my dress fits perfectly, why would i want to add alterations to the bill? i’ll stay my size, thanks.”

Post # 29
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I did not do this. When i was with my ex, i always said i didn’t want to get married until i lost weight (i’m a size 30). When we broke up and i met my husband and he popped the question (7 years later), i didn’t care. Of course i would have loved to have lost a few pounds, but he loves me the way i am. I thought i would look so nice if i lost weight, but every person at my wedding has known me my entire life and i’ve been plus sized my entire life. I found a gorgeous wedding gown at David’s, and not some frumpy looking old lady nightgown my mother tried to pick out. Just because i’m fat doesn’t mean i can’t look fabulous…..and that i did.

Post # 30
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I bought my dress fit to my size. My only issue I am having is that its non sleeved and I have flabby arms so I just plan on toning my arms so that they will not look like wings with my dress. lol

Post # 31
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I bought my dress two sizes smaller than I was.  Then I went crazy mad losing it.  I see it all as temporary.  I am now two sizes smaller, but I need to eat a few crackers for lunch to maintain it along with a small dinner.  I told everyone I’m going right back to the size I was before all of this and they all know it.

Point is, I don’t want to look at myself 10 years from now and see myself chubby.  I want to see a glamorized, younger version of myself even though I may weigh twice as much as I did before I started losing the weight.  Why?  Because those pictures are forever and it’s the day I am spending the most money on for good pictures.  If I have great-grandchildren who are looking at those pictures and I am long gone, I want them to be amazed.

Blame it on the fashion industry, I don’t know.  I just don’t want to see my everyday self.  I want to see the thinner girl that is forever frozen in a moment of time – and then I will know that the hard work was worth it because that picture is forever.

That’s my take on it, anyhow.

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