(Closed) Why do we want to be engaged?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Why do we want to be engaged? (vote on multiple)
    It's the next step for us, we know we want to be together forever : (163 votes)
    42 %
    Doesn't matter to me, I'd skip right into marriage without a ring! : (48 votes)
    12 %
    I want to show off my bling bling! : (44 votes)
    11 %
    I want to follow traditions. : (48 votes)
    12 %
    I think it's time and I've given him a "deadline" : (20 votes)
    5 %
    It's symbol of forever. And I'm getting him an engagement gift! : (36 votes)
    9 %
    I won't move in with him until we're at least engaged. : (24 votes)
    6 %
    I don't care about being engaged or married. We don't need 'symbols' to know we love each other. : (9 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    Engagement to us mean the next step in our relationship. We are young (20 and 19) but we’ve been together for over 4 years and we’ve known we will always be together from the start. At the same time, we don’t have the finances to skip right to the wedding and a house, etc. So the engagement is a step closer to our future. I have not given him a timeline, I just said I didn’t want to be together for like 8 years until we’re engaged. We know we’ll have a semi-long engagement, and that at least one of us will be done with undergrad before our wedding. I don’t plan on getting him an engagement gift, but I’ll be saving up for a wicked nice watch for him as a wedding gift. I also recently got scuba certified and want to save up to help him get his (since he’s saving for a ring). So we may take a trip to go diving once we’re engaged =) We’re semi long-distance and only see each other on weekends. So I’m definitely ready for this next step, it’s one step closer to spending the rest of my life with the man I love! 

    -Great thread btw!

    Post # 4
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    @Shel2523: I agree! We’re both 20 (almost 21) and this is the next step in our relationship. We’ve been together 3 and a 1/2 years. I’m really excited to be engaged so I definitely wouldn’t skip that part and go right to the wedding 😉 I want to get him an engagement present but there isn’t really anything he wants haha. He says it’ll happen before the winter is over so I didn’t need to give him a deadline (:

    Post # 6
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m 24, SO is 30. Been together for 2 1/2 years, living together for 1. We’re both stable in our careers, I just bought a house, we’re in a great place financially. We both want to take the next step and so we’re making it happen.

    Would any of you skip the engagement and go right into marriage?

    No. We’ve had a super nontraditional relationship and it’s important to my guy, and myself, to preserve those traditions for at least this stage of our life.

    Is it because you want to show your friends and family the ring?

    No. It’s not BECAUSE I want to show them a ring. Showing them a ring would just be icing on the cake, not the cake itself.

    Have any of you given your SO a “deadline”?

    I didn’t give him a deadline. I just told him that if we passed the 3 year mark and we weren’t engaged or had plans to be engaged, I would have to reevaluate our relationship in a very serious way. I told him I wasn’t going to be that person that waited for a decade for their partner to figure out if they wanted to marry them. I straight up told him there is someone out there who knows they want to be with me and if 3 years hits and you still don’t know…then we have a problem.

    Do any of you plan on getting him an engagement gift, after he proposes to you?

    Yes. But my engagement gift might be the wedding. He doesn’t have the money for it, but I will to an extent. I don’t want a wedding, but he does. It’s very important to him. So, I’ll be honoring his wishes and doing whatever my money can buy. 🙂

    Post # 7
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I wanted to be engaged to insure that our relationship was moving forward.  I would have skipped it and went straight to the alter, but my family would be sad if we didn’t have a wedding.  So we are having a short engagement and are getting married on our five year anniversay.

    Post # 8
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We got engaged with a cheap ring (cz) and had a courthouse wedding soon after. For me the engagement wasn’t important, I can’t even remember when we officially got engaged. Sometime in August maybe? I just wanted to be married to him.

    Post # 9
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

    Interesting topic!  For me, engagement is like marraige-lite.  It shows that we do intend to spend the rest of our lives together, even if it isn’t legal yet.  The ring will be nice, I’m sure, and it symbolizes the “taken” aspect, but really I can’t wait to be engaged to know that we will be moving forward and merging our lives permanently to create our own little family.  Plus it is just TIME!

    Post # 11
    320 posts
    Helper bee

    I want to be engaged for a few reasons. First, I want to be able to show my friends and family that SO and I are serious about one another, and not just fooling around.  I’m tired of the terms ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’. It’s so highschool, and at this age no one really takes boyfriend/girlfriend very seriously. Your relatives try to fix you up with “marriage-minded” guys, completely ignoring your current relationship, and it’s really hard to convince guys to stop hitting on me when I’m out with the girls when the only thing between me and them is a ‘boyfriend’ and no ring on my finger.

    Secondly, I really would like a traditional engagement and marriage. I’ve always been sort of a rebel and an ‘alternative’ type girl, I haven’t taken the same path through life that most typically do, and I really would like this particular milestone in my life to be one that me and my family get to enjoy. Though I don’t need an extravagant wedding, I really don’t want to settle for a courthouse marriage, and I do want a traditional engagement and wedding ring to symbolize our love for one another. I want to feel like I can show the world “Look! I was finally worth it to someone!” and dangit, I just feel like I deserve it.

    Post # 12
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Hmm, I didn’t vote.

    First thing that comes to my mind when I ask myself this question is because to me, an engagement shows me that HE knows I’m the one and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He’s already told me this a million times, and he does show me this everyday, but for some reason, I don’t think it will ever be “real” in my head that this is it, me and him forever, until he pops the question. Ring – or not.

    Post # 13
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

    @MisfitPrincess: You make such a good point – boyfriend and girlfriend sound so YOUNG, and as we’re getting older, and becoming adults, I’d like a better term, a more serious-sounding one.  Boyfriends and girlfriends often don’t really get any respect in terms of a relationship, it isn’t solid enough.  

    Post # 14
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    Thanks for the luck! Same to you


    @sugarpea, I’m glad you agree! Lucky you, I’ll be waiting on a proposal story and ring porn from you! Hopefully this time next year, I’ll be weeks away from having a ring on my finger!

    The topic ‘Why do we want to be engaged?’ is closed to new replies.

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