- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2010
feel the need to bring down other people’s life choices to justify our own?
I have a friend who has become distant from me. It started at my bachelorette party. We went back to the hotel room in vegas and i wanted to walk around. I was hoping everyone would join me since it was our last night there and I wanted everyone to be together.
She didn’t want to. I hadn’t asked for much the whole weekend and had been really laid back about the whole thing. She asked why? and I said, because after this, things is changing for me. She told me that things don’t have to change just because I’m getting married. I know that now that I am married, not ALL things have to change, I still talk to my girlfriends (other than her), we still have dinner and talk about their guy problems and other girly things, but yes, my life has changed. I share my life with another person. We coordinate our schedules and have melded our things into one household. We take care of each other and concern each other with each other’s business.
So now, this friend seems to be reacting badly to people getting married by bad mouthing marriage to all our single friends– saying “i don’t see why people have to get married, i never want to get married, you’re not getting married, are you?” She is planning things with our friends but not inviting me (i do end up getting invited by another friend who is going, since they are also my besties).
Yes, i am married. That doesn’t mean that I think that everyone needs to be married. I also think being single is great, and if mr. nerdy boy hadnt come along, I wouldn’t have been driven by this idea that I needed to be married for the sake of getting married…
So here is the question.
Why do we feel like we need to bring down other people’s life choices in order to justify our own? Can’t we be happy even though our choices are different? Can’t it be okay that one choice might work for one person and one for the other?