Post # 1
I’m about a month 1/2 away from my wedding and I cannot wait for it to be over just bc I’m tired of all my family’s demands and perceived entitlements. Examples:
1. uncle wants me to invite cousin’s 3 children to our no children wedding
2. dad is demanding I make my 1/2 brother a groomsmen (I’ve probably spoken to said brother 3 times in the last 5 years)
3. mom wants to invite any person she talks to for more than 5 mins to the wedding (new coworkers, starbucks cashier, etc.)
It seems that no one undertsand we’re having a intimate 60 person wedding with a very small bridal party (2Groomsmen and 2Maid/Matron of Honor.) I’m tired of having everyone be mad at me. I feel like the next time I get a wedding invitation I’m going to start making all sorts of demands, even though I’m not contributing to any of it. Ughhhh
Anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
@xoxovmarie: Been there, done that. It will be over soon.
Keep repeating “No”, have a hostess with a list at the door who has strong enough ovaries to tell parents they have to take their children home, and feel free to no answer your phone.
Don’t give in to emotional blackmail
Post # 4
It seems that the only cure is GETTING MARRIED and then the crazy subsides.
Just stand your ground and ignore anyone who starts to get unreasonable.
It’s a good life leasson on learning how to say “NO” – that’s a good lesson for your marriage, too (when/if you have kids especially)
Post # 5
Weddings bring out the crazy in everyone! Just stick to your guns and do what makes you happy.
Post # 6
@LuvMySailor: +1 to the hostess, some people are just too pushy and will bring their kids no matter what.
Post # 7
@xoxovmarie: “I’m so sorry, but we’re not inviting children. We’ll miss cousin if she can’t attend!”
“Actually, I already had the role of usher/a reading/etc in mind for half brother.”
“unfortunately, our wedding venue can accommodate 60 people. If anyone else shows up, they will have nowhere to sit and nothing to eat.”
Hang in there! My mom isn’t that bad with the guest list, but she sorta views it as her wedding – she’s wanting to decide on venues, pick out my shoes and veil, and even our wedding bands. 🙂 Haha thanks mom, but I got this!
Post # 8
@xoxovmarie: YES I know how you feel.
My wedding is over now but some of the strange things we came across were:
1. My husband’s cousins in another continent. I have never met them, he hasn’t seen them for 10+ years. When one of the cousins could not make the wedding, the other asked my Father-In-Law if she could bring her boyfriend. I am sorry but that invitation is not YOURS to reallocate!
2. My sister became very passive aggressive leading up to the wedding. Two things of note…she called my mother when I booked my venue, telling her it was in a dangerous neighbourhood. This made my mother really upset… and it wasn’t even true. My sister also asked me two weeks before the wedding if her 8 year old daughter could sing at the reception… in front of her daughter (so that I wouldn’t say no!). I DID say no. Our wedding is NOT a day for her kids to showcase their talents (they have annual concerts, sing at home for us often etc).
3. We did online RSVP. Another cousin sneakily added his girlfriend on the RSVP, who we had not invited
As the PPs say, stick to your guns.
We told Father-In-Law that cousins bringing partners who are not on the guest list was not on (we only did plus ones for engaged and live-n couples) and he sorted it out. I never changed my venue and my mother loved it. I didn’t have to sit through my reception listening to my neice sing.
Our wedding day was just as we wanted it and we loved it!
Good luck OP!
Post # 9
Because they want to be happy for u, but they don’t want to be inconvenienced, and the wedding u r planning may be inconveniencing them in some way. Or they think they can make the wedding better for themselves/more how they would do it in some way if they can just influence u enough. Or they figure if they ignore u, the wedding will go away.
Ppl get weird. They lose the ability to determine what is rude and not rude, what is courteous and not courteous. They just don’t know how to act so they just do whatever and it usually is either overstepping their boundaries, or the opposite, withdrawing too much from the wedding altogether.
Post # 10
+1 to the hostess. Chances are they’ll show up with their kids no matter what you tell them.
As for the groomsmen, tell your dad there isn’t enough time for him to get measured, have the suit/tux come in etc. Maybe that’ll hold him off. Tell your mom about the venue “it’s only 60 people, the 61st person won’t have a seat and won’t have any food”. If you’re paying for the wedding then you have it your way.