Post # 26
“a right way to approach someone” .. that IS dancing on eggshells to me.
It just seems like everyone views it as such a personal subject, when its one of the most observable things about someoone. It sounds like people are just too self conscious, and any little comment either way can push someone over the edge and feel bad. I dont go around commenting on peoples size.. I agree its not a “normal” topic to randomly bring up. But I also dont think its that big an issue or offended when a few people have commented on mine in a few cases, especially fi a conversation leads to it.
Regarding VP… I do see the flip side and agree that it was uncalled for, given the relationship.
Post # 27
UGH. Some people. completely rude & inappropriate.
I’m a pretty thin chick, and I was standing on the train one day, holding a couple things (my purse, lunch bag, coat) and a woman asked if I was pregnant and wanted to sit down. I was SHOCKED, and stuttered “uh… lol… no” and she said “Oh… I just thought with all the bags you’re carrying… “.
Post # 28
I can see what you mean for a person who is average size and weight. But for someone who is underweight or overweight their entire lives, they might not be as secure with themselves. Or maybe they are, but hearing it constantly from strangers, friends, and family is just ANNOYING. Imagine someone told you you need to lose weight or gain weight almost every day? After hearing it over and over and in inapproproate places (at work from your VP) it starts to make you feel kinda bad about yourself, only natural.
For me, it’s not so much the “being secure in my own skin” thing as it is annoying when people state the obvious. For example, when you’re pregnant, you hear advice from every mother you know: Don’t sleep on your right side/left side, don’t eat raw fish, don’t drink caffeine, do this do that. After a while, it’s super annoying.
If I’m too skinny or too fat or “look pregnant”, I probably know about it and don’t need to be told. Like when we all have had giant zits and someone says, “wow you are really breaking out today” lol.
Post # 29
I’m sorry that happened to you. As VP I think she should be smart enough to refrain from saying something like that to an employee! I would just like to add that women aren’t the only ones who do this…years ago my Dad ran into his ex-secretary at the grocery store and after chatting for a few minutes, he congratulated her on her pregnancy and asked when she was due. Yeah, she wasn’t pregnant and he’ll never make another comment like that to anyone ever again!
Post # 30
I’m with you – I really don’t see it as that bad. I had a couple co-workers ask me last week if I was pregnant (I had missed a day of work because I was sick). I just laughed and said “I sure hope not!” (we aren’t planning to TTC for another 3-4 years). And that was the end of it. No big deal. No hurt feelings. Done.
What is way worse (IMO) is the people who are clearly pregnant but refuse to tell people at work. Hello – everyone can tell! But their refusal to admit it makes everyone feel awkward.
Post # 31
It’s nobody’s business if you are pregnant or not unless you choose to share this information with them and asking if a woman is or is not pregnant is RUDE. I don’t care how you do it!
Post # 32
for about a year after we married, every single time i had a headache, a sniffle, felt queasy, pms cramping/being moody – my female boss would ask if i was pregnant – it was very annoying and then started to become offensive to the point one day i snapped and said that its just a f*****g headache and i was sick of her asking. she stopped after that.
Post # 33
i dont think you need to contact the HR for that, probably she felt confortable enough to do that with you. we joke around like that with few of my coworkers, and they joke around with me too. it was just the norm for newly weds to get pregnant soon. just tell her that no, i have some health issues lately, but as soon as you get prego, you will inform her to plan your baby shower! 🙂
Post # 34
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
I know a girl who had to have surgery recently. It caused weight gain which is especially lame since she dropped a LOT of weight over the last two years. Her co-workers keep asking if she’s pregnant. She doesn’t even WANT kids!
Post # 35
Nooo! I would never ask someone that unless they were obviously ready to be in labor in a few days, seriously.
Once when I was at my friends birthday party, everyone was quiet because she was opening presents–my friend’s dad asked out of nowhere, “so when are you due???” I just got bright red and said…”OH…wow, I’m not pregnant” (but my son was 8 months old so I was trying to lose the pregnancy weight)…it was so hurtful. Everyone looked so uncomfortable after he asked this too. There were about 20 people there that heard this.
Anyway, people will ask this even if you have a little bagel sized chub around the tummy. A lot of my sisters and friends have been asked this, and they don’t weigh more than 135. It’s just that most of them collect weight in the stomach area, whether its stress or genetics, its a pretty common area. Don’t let it get to you!
Post # 36
Wow, that so rude, it’s non of her business in the first place, love your response tho, it really turned the tables to expose her utter rudeness. Hope your medical issues are not serious and good luck 🙂
Post # 37
I agree, unless they are ready to pop and there is absolutely no question I just don’t ask.
Post # 39
Hmmm well I don’t necessarily agree with the extreme opinion taken by many previous bees. While I do agree 100% it is no one’s business especially at work as to whether you are pregnant or not you know people are bound to ask if they are suspicious. While that doesn’t make it right, it also doesn’t make it nasty or vindictive either. I do respect the fact that since she wasn’t sure she did ask you quietly and privately rather than confronting you in a larger public situation. Again, not right but it could have been must more tactless.
That being said I like the PP mentioned bite my tongue even if a person is clearly pregnant. I typically wait until they say something, I get the baby shower invite, or they pop the kid out before asking for just this very reason, to be wrong is oh so embarrassing.
P.S. My male boss asked me one time when I was dealing with stomach flu issues if I was pregnant and dealing with morning sickness. Again, not his concern and waaaay out of left field.