Post # 1
Fiance and I were watching Say Yes to the Dress yesterday. They always bring a huge entourage with them to try on dresses and he asked me the question “Why do women always need approval from everyone else?”
My answer was “um…I don’t know. Because we’re women.”
I know I like to get approval of things from my other girl friends. It just makes me feel like I’m not making bad decisions I guess.
So why do you think women feel the need to have the approval of everyone?
Post # 3
I’m the opposite. I like to act independently, and I trust my instinct. I know that not everyone is going to like what I like, so I just don’t even ask. (I’m talking about matters of taste & style here.)
Post # 4
I don’t know about approval, I’m really independent but I trust my friends to see things that I may have not noticed or thought about.
Post # 5
@DeadlyNightshade: This is exactly how I am. I didn’t need my friends to gush over how gorgeous I looked in my dress, but I did want them to be honest about whether my undergarments were showing, whether it flattered my figure, etc. I think that for me, it’s more about getting second opinions from a female perspective.
Post # 6
I don’t. I only brought one person dress shopping with me, and it was largely because I wanted someone to fend off the bridal shop salespeople. You should tell your fiance that tv shows doesn’t necessarily show things that are representative of “all women”.
Post # 7
I defnitely think it’s a problem in general. I’ve struggled with it and my mother to this day doesn’t realize how strong a need it is for her. The media also influences us to look pleasing, sound/ act/ be pleasing and gain approval.
Post # 8
I don’t need it everytime, but choosing a wedding dress is kind of a big decision, you want people to like your dress or to tell you if it is a mistake.
My entourage was no help at all.
“Whatever you like Cady, it is your wedding day. They all look beautiful on you!”
WTF! TELL ME YOU HATE IT!
Post # 9
@Cady: My family was like that too about EVERYTHING for the wedding! I wsa like “I didn’t ask for your opinion to tell me ‘It is all your choice’ I asked because I wanted to know what you really think!!”
I am fairly independant but for big things, it is important to me to have people’s who opinion’s matter (like my close friends, and family) approve. Do I care what random strangers think? Not really. But if people I know care a lot for me think something isn’t a good idea, I want to know that!
Post # 10
I only brought 1 friend dress shopping with me too. I brought her because she’s honest and told me what looked good and what didn’t. I guess I don’t really need approval as much as I want someone to tell me if something isn’t right, makes my butt look big, or shows my underwear. I consider myself pretty independant. I do things/pick things out on my own. Sometimes I show people just to show, but their opinions aren’t going to change mine.
But I notice it a lot of bridal shows. Some brides pass on the dress they love because their friends/family don’t like it.
Fiance knows that not all women are like that. But it’s kind of like the bathroom thing. Girls always go to the bathroom together and neither of us can figure that one out either.
Post # 11
The thing is, especially in the South, the whole entourage is very popular. So I don’t know if you have seen SYTTD Atlanta, but especially there they always have tone of women in there, the bride is wanting that approval. The South is all about family, and I guess it isn’t just the South, but I know that I am from the South, and they just want that kind of confirmation from the people that mean the most to them.
As for me personally, I don’t agree with it. You are going to like what you are going to like, and there won’t be a whole lot to change your mind. Because then you risk the idea of being really unhappy on your wedding day, because you went along with someone else’s “vision” for you.