Post # 1
i have been thinking about one of the bridesmaids behaviour… she is like really crazy bubbly person she is always out and about, we were best firends, i guess we are still very good friend but we have been growing apart..or at least i feel in this way.. anyways her dress arrived 2 weeks ago and she couldnt fit in it because she was very bloated(her period) she tried it then last week again and she told me the dress zipped up but it feels very tight on her bust.. now she wrote me an email telling me she went for alteration and the dress wil be ready 2 days before the wedding(and right there she gave me a heart attack, but it is ok..im trying to be nice and do not act like a bridezilla), so i asked her if she was going to taking it out just a little since she said it was tight and she told me she will be expecting her period by the beginning of next month,a nd she said “NO”! i thought she was insane, why would she risk to do not fit in it?!?! she told me it was too much money over 100$ total she said! this is BS!!! for the hemming only it cant cost her more than 30$ maybe? how much it could be having it take it out a little? if she would stop going out everyday to drink and have dinners maybe she would be able to afford some alterations and dont jeopardize my wedding day! then she is the only one to refuse to have hair done, well she is going to have her hair done at her salon for cheap while me and the other girls we will be getting ready togheter..i said ok, fine, if this save you some money it is ok… then i specifically asked everyone to get strap sandels any kind of sandal and heels as soon as they feel comfortable and she came out with open toes shoes!??! why? am i doing something wrong?!!? i asked her to please returned them and she was like hell no, i spent a lot of money for these and they are from italy! really? i dont care they can come from congo for what i care, i asked for something long time ago and she bought something without asking me if those shoes were going to be ok!?!? im so over it!why is she acting like this??!! isnt she supposed to make me happy and dont give me any stress?? i know she doesnt have that much money so myself, my sister is unemployed, another girl just got married so she is broke too and the last one is 16yrs old so she doesnt have money, but no one complained, she is the only one! this really pisses me off!!! maybe it is just me, but i think she is acting selfish…
Post # 3
When I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress hemmed and taken out for my sister’s wedding it cost $100, so the pricing isn’t unreasonable.
Post # 4
I really don’t think Sandals v Open toed shoes are that serious, no one is going to look at their feet.
Post # 5
well, i specifically asked for sandals, and she came with open toed, i know i should not care, but if we take sitting pictures or something she will be the only one with open toed, and see it in pics probably would upsets me! i dont know.. if some brides’d ask me specifically for something i wouldnt go and buy somehting totally different!
Post # 6
Honestly people won’t be noticing the shoes too much and it won’t make much of a difference in the pictures. However, I do understand why you are frustrated b/c you did specifically say you wanted your BM’s to wear sandals and she went out and bought something else.
There’s not much you can do and you shouldn’t put a friendship in jeopardy over a pair of shoes (or how she’s doing alterations). It’s her perogative that she doesn’t feel the need to get the dress taken out and it is now up to her to make sure the dress fits on the wedding day. Just spend time worrying about all the other things you need to take care of. 🙂
Post # 7
From a girl who has NEVER found any sort of strappy sandal comfortable, I understand why she may have wanted an open toe. I would have asked my bride if it was ok…
Since everyone is wearing different shoes, it really WON’T be that big of a deal. Just remind her that everyone else is doing sandals and drop it. It’s not worth arguing over! If you can’t let it go, go shopping with her and pick something out together.
And, don’t let the fact that she’s not getting her hair done with everyone bug you. She’ll meet up with all of you in due time and you can enjoy her company then.
It’s not a slight on you – she’s just doing her own thing.
And, all the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses I’ve had altered have run me $100+, so that sounds about right. It costs a lot to have the seams taken in or out.
Please don’t forget it does cost a lot of money in general to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (money that is really being spent on something for you).
Post # 8
I understand being upset but I think open toed shoes are pretty much sandals. I’m sure it will look fine.
Post # 9
oh man she sounds like she is being difficult!! hello you are the bride. if she knew that she wouldnt be able to afford all the little extras than she should have declined at the beginning when you ask her to be a bridesmaid. I have been a bridesmaid like a gallzion times. It isnt something cheap so before I said Yes i made sure that i would be able to save money to pay for a dress any alterations shoes hair makeup and nails. When i have been in wedding i respect the brides wishes. you werent asking for much just strappy sandals and she couldnt afford the alterations but those open toes shoes sound pricey! they are from Italy? mmm ok.
i Totally understand where you are coming from i would be upset too. **hugs**
Post # 10
Alterations are expensive, especially when it comes to letting a dress out. And I’m sorry did I miss the memo where open toed heels and sandal-like heels are two different things? I must have…
Post # 11
thanks mrsmedina! theres nothing i can do anymore, now it is too late! i probably should have told them what to buy, but whatever..i know they are only shoes, and no one will see them, but like i said, what if if we decide to take “weird” picture, weird as in funny or something, and their shoes show off? oh well…also for the hair thing, i wanted everyone to be together in the same room talk, have breakfast, spend this special time together, and she will be away to do her hair somewhere else… i dont want to stress out about this anymore, the wedding is 2 weeks away and i really need to relax and enjoying these moments!
Post # 12
I’m confused, what’s the difference between open toed shoes and sandals? Do you mean open toe, as it’s like a peep toe pump? I’m so lost.
Post # 13
First, alterations are actually that expensive. It’s stupid and I think a lot of times they jack up the price if it’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, but that is a common amount. I’ve spent more than that on minor alterations. It sucks. As for the shoes, meh. It’s annoying, yes, that she didn’t really listen to you (but open toe and sandal is really not THAT big a difference, especially since you said they are going to be all different shoes anyway) but at the end of the day, it’s shoes. Nobody but you will notice and ultimately the only pictures that matter from your wedding day are you and your hubby. I’ve never ever seen anyone display pro pics of themself and their BMs in their home.
I do, however, think you should reread this sentence you wrote:
if she would stop going out everyday to drink and have dinners maybe she would be able to afford some alterations and dont jeopardize my wedding day!
Maybe it’s wedding stress since you’re getting really close but that makes you sound a wee bit crazy.
Post # 14
I think Kittyachi Nailed It. You are dragging way too many little things out of perportion. Forget about it. Yes it’s kind of annoying. But who cares. Their shoes. Opened toed are sandles. No they aren’t strappy; but at least it’s not a leather stilleto. Yes alterations are pretty expensive. If you havn’t seen the dress then you can’t really say if it’s too tight or not. Things could always be worse. Way worse. Take some breaths and avoid her for a couple days! You’ll be fine!
Post # 15
kittyachi! yeah, i probably wrote that when i was in the middle of a conversation with the Bridesmaid or Best Man, so yeah i might have exaggerated and i sounded a bit mean, but what i was trying to say is that she knew about the wedding long time ago, she never saves her money and if she really cares about me and the wedding, how she claims(for example, whan i told her i wanted to put my sister in law second after my sister Maid/Matron of Honor and her third she flipped out) why she can just listen to me and at least trying to do it! BUT i want to end this here, cause now the damege is done and im gonna live with that