(Closed) Why do you want more than one child?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I can honestly say that I will have more than one child because I don’t want my one child to be an only child. 

Siblings are extremely important relationships to have.  I have a nephew who is an only child and socially behind and depraved of a lot of fun every day activites because he has no one to do them with.  They live in a bad neighborhood and he isn’t allowed to go out and play with the other kids.  It makes me really really sad. 

Post # 17
Member
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@love108:  My older sister and I were like water and oil forever.  We’re six years apart and I’m the middle of three, so she really resented that my parents had me, and I resented that this stupid 9 year old was a bully by the time I realized she was being mean to me.  Man, can’t 9 year old girls just grow up?

But now we’re so close.  She started having kids at around the time that I really grew into an adult, and I think our relationship got a lot better around that time.  So don’t give up hope, the running joke of our family was “When Kate and D get along” instead of “When pigs fly.”

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@hisgoosiegirl:  Wow, they definitely do!  I bet they poured themselves some mega margaritas when the last one was out of the house…unless the last one is still home.

Post # 18
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We are dealing with severe infertility, and are trying to work our way through this.   

I have an almost 4 year old son from a previous relationship.   My son’s bio father is pretty much MIA, so he has been “dad” for half of my son’s life.

I really wanted to have a child together, and to have someone to for my son to reminse with.   Someone to share the load of taking care of their parents when they are older.   Also, we both had siblings and while we are not close to any of our siblings, we really appreciate them.

But, it’s so nice to be able to focus on our son.   We can take him on vacations easily.  When he starts with hockey and whatever else he gets into, we will be able to make every game without having to take a sibling somewhere else. 

There are perks to both side.  It just sucks when it isn’t a choice.

Post # 19
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I couldn’t imagine my life with out my siblings. I want to have more than 1 child so they have each other. When I grow old I want to be able to have big family gatherings with my children and their future spouces and future children. I just think one child would Be lonely. What if something happend and me and my hubbie passed away. Our child would be alone. I know that is totally morbid thinking but i worry about strange things like that. I wouldn’t want them to be alone I would want them to have a sibling, so they can be there for each other. 

Post # 20
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

DH and I definitely want more than one child, he’s thinking two or three, I’d have six if we could afford to!

My Dad is one of six, my Mum is one of three and as a result I have about 30 or so cousins all up (plus partners, kids, etc) and I LOVE having such a large extended family. I guess my reason for having lots of kids is that so my grandchildren will have a large extended family to enjoy.

I worked with a woman who was an only child and had only one child and I remember thinking how lonely her child must have been without any siblings or cousins to grow up with.

Post # 21
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t have kids yet but I know I want at least two. It comes from both personal experience and what I have read and seen from only child.

I was pretty much an only child until I was 8. It was lonely at times, especially because my parents moved a lot during my early childhood and I played alone. I was really shy and an introvert. When my brother came along I played along with him a lot and he tuned out to be really social. This is what happened to me but is not neccesarily the norm. I’m not shy anymore and I’m a little more social.

I have seen other people who have siblings and had a special connection that I made me jealous at times but to each their own.

By no means am I trying to be a downer but I think its nice to have 2 kids. Even if you were to get pregnant your kids would be 4 years apart so they won’t be at the same stage when they reach the teenage years.

Whatever you do its your and your FI’s decision and no one should tell you how many kids to have.

Good luck on you upcoming wedding and your decision!

Post # 22
Member
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

We will hopefully have several kids. We want bio and to adopt. I cant imagine my life without a sibling, my sister,while we did fight like siblings, so enriched my life I cant fathom just having one child.Anywhere from 2-4 for us hopefully!

Post # 23
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@HappierKate:  still home. youngest turns 18 in a couple months. But my sister is still at home too. And my brother lives down the road. So they’ve really only gotten rid of me. 

Post # 24
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

DH and I definitely want more than one child, I’m hoping for at least 3, though who knows what we’ll end up with as we’re facing some fertility issues. 

Part of it is definitely wanting kids to have siblings.  I’m a middle child, and my siblings are 1 year older and 1 year younger than me.  I don’t know how my mom did it, haha! But having siblings so close was really great, they made for really great friends, and its nice not having to go through life alone.  It just makes life more fun.  Not to mention I think it teaches kids some important life lessons about things like responsibility, sharing, helping eachother, etc.  

I also am just excited to see what types of people we will raise, haha.  Each child will be so distinct and special, and I want to raise kids with different potentials.  

I’ve always just imagined having a bigger family, and so has DH, I can’t really explain much more why.  

Post # 25
Member
7691 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We want more than one child because I don’t want my child to be an only child! I think there is something wonderful about having siblings. I’ve always pictured my family as a bigger family (at least 3 kids) as well. I feel like you either know you want another one or you don’t.

Post # 26
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@PitBulLover:  What she said!  I do not want my son to be an only child. The only difference is I want one more child.  Two is enough for me.

Post # 27
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance is an only child and he always wished he had a sibling. I have a sister who is my best friend and she had a baby young who is now 7 and one of my best friends :). I always tell Fiance ‘two can have tea but three can have a party!’ I want 3 babies because I think it’s the perfect number.

Post # 28
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

DH is an only child, and I only have one sibling.  There’s a pretty good chance that our kids might never have any first cousins at all, we we figure they should at least have a sibling.  Also, DH wasn’t a huge fan of being an only child, so he’s always wanted to create a larger family for himself. 

Post # 29
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Although we don’t have children now, we know that when we do we will have multiple (we want 4-6 actually, but I know that number always changes when you actually have them)  I grew up in a family of four kids and he grew up in a family of five kids.  We both loved it.  I think back to all of the things I had done with my siblings, and I can’t imagine how different my life would have been without them.  Even now, my sister is my best friend (even though we didn’t get along as teens).  Being I had siblings I can’t really say anything for sure, but I imagine being an only child has got to be lonely.  Imagine if, as an adult, when you were home the only person you had to talk to all the time was a child.  It wouldn’t be a horrible life by any means, but it would be a lot more lonely than having your SO around.    Now imagine being a kid, and only having adults to hang out with when at home, that just seems lonely.  I guess I personally never had met a single child who while in school said, “yeah, I’m glad I don’t have siblings!”  Take this for what it is, a grain of salt.  Ultimately, it’s your guys’ decision and no one is going to make or change it for you.  Just because you don’t feel the need to try now doesn’t mean you won’t feel the need later, but it also doesn’t mean you should have a kid just because other people say you should. 

Post # 30
Member
9479 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

No children yet, but I’ve always imagined myself to be a mommy.  It’s one of the the “dreams” I had a child.  Just something I knew I had in me.  I really can’t imagine having only one child.  It’s really not an option for me (unless there’s medical reasons).

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